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Lone parents

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Original poster

I now own my house - costly but have bought ex out !! Whoopee

26 replies

mistressmiggins · 06/04/2008 20:39

Just thought I'd let those of you who know my last 2.5 yrs (and any lone parents who are struggling) know that things can turn out ok.

Have successfully remortgaged my house & paid off ex. This means that I can continue with my future without money hanging over my head. It will be tough financially but I am lucky enough to be able to do it. Means we can stay in house too so less disruption for kids.

I now stand in the back garden at night when kids asleep looking up at MY house. I am in cloud cuckoo land

Still not divorced (decree nisi granted nov 2006) but ex has been dragging heels over the money and solicitor advised not completing divorce til money sorted. Didnt think it would take 18 mths. My wedding anniversary on Thurs but now I view it as just a day - doesnt mean anything.

Hopefully within next month I will be divorced.

For anyone who's lying toad of a husband has had an affair & left, there is light at the end of the tunnel & you AND your children will survive

OP posts:
welshdeb · 06/04/2008 20:42

well done

tribpot · 06/04/2008 20:45

MistressM, I remember your story. Bloody well done to you my love, and onwards and upwards forever. I wish him a plague of boils on his arse and you all good things.

BreeVanDerCampLGJ · 06/04/2008 20:47

Oh bloody well done you .....it has been a long road, but so, so, worth it.

So very proud of you, I remember the very first posts, you have come so far.

Huge hugs..............

LGJ

XXXX

TheFallenMadonna · 06/04/2008 20:49

Gosh I remember them too.

Good work MM

BettySpaghetti · 06/04/2008 20:50

Well done!

You have come so far since we first met MM - you should be so proud

Original poster
mistressmiggins · 06/04/2008 20:52

thanks

like I said, still not divorced (left Nov 2005) but he has just taken soooo long over the money & house.

just feel like a huge weight has been lifted.

Have my own house, own car & DP of 18 mths who the children adore & who treats me with such respect. I feel incredibly fortunate.

I remember the dispare when all this happened and the support from my virtual friends on MN and just wanted to show other lone parents that there is a future ahead - just a different one from the one you had planned....but possibly a better one

OP posts:
StressTeddy · 06/04/2008 20:53

yay! well done you. Totally brilliant news. You paint a lovely picture of looking up at your house

Original poster
mistressmiggins · 06/04/2008 20:54

it is StressTeddy
standing in the dark with the wonderful sky & stars & my house is just heaven

OP posts:
StressTeddy · 06/04/2008 20:58

dead proud of you girl and so happy that things sound so great
(st wanders off humming to herself and thinking that life isn't so bad after all when there are happy endings like this)

skyatnight · 06/04/2008 21:22

Congratulations MistressMiggins. You're a strong lady and deserve happiness.

littlewoman · 07/04/2008 02:25

I don't know your history, but bloody brilliantly well done, MM.

UnderRated · 07/04/2008 02:47

Congratulations.

It can be a very very long tunnel but it is always nice to hear positive stories.

Thank you for sharing. And WELL DONE

Freckle · 07/04/2008 03:57

Well done, MM. Your solicitor is right that you should wait until the finances are sorted before finalising the divorce. Once you have your decree absolute, you cannot make any further financial claims.

I hope your ex now realises what a complete moron he has been.

LightTouch · 07/04/2008 17:53

Great news, MM.

I'm totally new on here, only started reading today, so haven't told my story yet, and don't know yours, but it looks similar from the bottom of your post. What you have achieved is something that I want to do, so its been a great boost to see someone achieve this.

Like you, i've been on my own for about 2.5 years, and still not divorced either. I have a son and would love it to truely be our home. Complications with house and money mean its dragged on, and I have no idea if I can scrape the money together to do it, but your story has painted a picture thats fired me up!

Enjoy it, sounds like it is well deserved!

LBA · 07/04/2008 18:07

So glad its all working out for you mm, lovely to hear!

fransmom · 07/04/2008 18:10

hi mm i am so glad for you xxx

it has been a long time since we last spoke on mn and i am now a lone parent too, so thanks for the heads-up i find it difficult sometimes when i thinkit would be nice to watch a film with someone but i am happy on my own xxxx

well done mm!!

MarsLady · 07/04/2008 18:11

Celebrate good times let's celebrate!!!!!!!

Whoopee indeed mistress! Whooppee indeed!

So happy for you! Well done!

Original poster
mistressmiggins · 07/04/2008 20:27

the new DP was accidental - wasnt looking at all but stumbled across him and he is fantastic!

Am looking forward to enjoying peace of mind with no "its my house / I wont give you money" etc

Money will be tight but have explained to DS (5) and DD(3) that mummy has to work to pay bills, pay for house, clothes & food. Everything else is a luxury but home & love is enough.

My children are happy to stay in this house and to be honest, if I had sold up, I would have similar mortgage and smaller house and uncertainty for kids so belt tighting in order!

Just wanted to let oldies and newbie(lone parents) know I have come through the other side.

OP posts:
LightTouch · 07/04/2008 20:40

MM how do you deal with people assuming, or your ex saying, that you got everything, and he walked away with nothing, even though you had to buy him out (or perhaps yours hasn't done that )?

I guess the closest people to you, and whose opinions you care about will know that you have bought him out, but I have a good relationship with my ex's family and friends, though not on a scale where I would bring up finances, and it hurts to think that he might not be absolutley honest about how we split our finances, and allow them to think badly of me, when infact he's likely to do well out of our split.

Original poster
mistressmiggins · 07/04/2008 21:04

To be honest LightTouch, I dont care what he says.

My family (who live locally) and friends think I have given him too much but I have explained I wanted to be fair.
If my ex tells people he has nothing, I dont care as I dont see them & with my whole attitude to life is "treat others as you want to be treated" I know I have been fair and thats good enough for me.

His whole new life is built on a lie as he was having an affair, I kicked him out & I very much doubt she knows that - I suspect he told her he left. What kind of a basis for a relationship is that?

My ex-in-laws still care about me - they sent me some money for my birthday last month and phone regularly to speak to me & the children. I know if I was in trouble I could phone his dad & he would be down in a shot. I have even discussed my in-laws coming to stay at my house even though I have a new DP & my DP is ok with it! He is a decent bloke & knows the split wasnt the fault of the grandparents.

My in laws arent stupid & know exactly what went wrong & dont agree with my ex but if they say anything, he would tell them where to go. They have told me indirectly and thats good enough for me.

OP posts:
Piffle · 07/04/2008 21:15

mm I remember your first thread about the affair. Cannot believe so much time has passed
and get you Madame! Really well done on the house and the new fella. Tis so nice to see you out the other side.

LightTouch · 07/04/2008 21:36

MM, good for you. I agree with a lot of what you have said... "I know I have been fair and thats good enough for me." and "treat others..." etc.

There are a lot of parallels about your situation and mine, with kicking my ex out and his new relationship being a bit of a lie, even my in laws attitude to me, but you sound more confident and have this big achievement under your belt. Go girl, and I hope sometime i'll be back sounding as sorted as you!

NotActuallyAMum · 10/04/2008 10:12

That's fantastic news mm

Lovely to hear you've got a DP too, good on you! Really pleased for you, you deserve it

zippitippitoes · 10/04/2008 10:13

congratulations

Lovesdogsandcats · 12/04/2008 13:54

Don't know your story but I do love a happy ending. Well done and good luck!