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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Original poster

My 15 year old is home alone - WWYD

91 replies

BigBessie · 19/05/2024 00:30

I am so gutted.
I have brought my son up as a sole parent with no family nearby. I have never left him with anyone (apart from nursery and the very occasional night out) It's been hard but I don't resent a moment.
A few months ago my DP of two years agreed to look after him for the weekend whilst I spend a weekend with my mother 6 hours away. She's elderly and we may not get many more.
(Me and DP don't live together)
I am now 6 hours away and my DP is totally pissed and sending me horrible messages saying he's staying out to watch the boxing and will be back when he's back and various insults to me.
I''m devastated.
I've called my son and he sounds ok. But wondering if I should stage an intervention and call the police?
My son is home alone past midnight.
"Guardian" is pissed and being an idiot. I am 6 hours away.
I feel like the worst mum in the world.

OP posts:
justasking111 · 19/05/2024 00:32

He's 15 if he's happy leave him be.

ClawdiaCattipuss · 19/05/2024 00:32

I'd stop engaging with your ex now. It's serving no purpose.

Is he any threat to your son when pissed? A danger to him? If so, I'd leave immediately

If not, and your son is in bed and you're in constant contact with him and he's fine, then I'd leave it until tomorrow

Regardless, it would be the last time my son stayed with him

PineappleTime · 19/05/2024 00:33

He's 15. He's not 5. Obviously your 'D' P is a total twat and I hope you'll be dumping him when you get back, and ideally your DS will lock the doors and not let him in, but he will be fine by himself for a night.

MummyofTw0 · 19/05/2024 00:33

15 he should be OK. But go home first thing tomorrow.
Also dump theboyfriend. He's no good

ClawdiaCattipuss · 19/05/2024 00:33

Missed he's your boyfriend

Just dump him tomorrow.

You will right?

SpiritAdder · 19/05/2024 00:34

15 is alright to be home alone for a night unless as the other poster asked, your DP is a violent drunk and your DS is at risk?

Is the DP his father?

persisted · 19/05/2024 00:35

At 15 I was out after midnight in other people's houses babysitting.
He'll be fine.

VelvetTurtle · 19/05/2024 00:37

My mum use to go on week long holidays and leave me alone at that age. Think you are overthinking it many people leave kids at that age overnight it's guidelines not law so no I wouldn't call the police unless there is a drop feed about additional needs. Tbh I'm more concerned you were going to leave him with that lovely partner of yours sounds like he will be better off on his own.

NuffSaidSam · 19/05/2024 00:37

Being home alone is absolutely fine.

Being home with your mum's drunk and belligerent boyfriend, not so much.

Do you think he's at risk from your boyfriend? Is he at your house or his? If he's at your house tell him to lock up and then tell the boyfriend to go back to his.

I'm sorry your relationship is over.

VelvetTurtle · 19/05/2024 00:37

SpiritAdder · 19/05/2024 00:34

15 is alright to be home alone for a night unless as the other poster asked, your DP is a violent drunk and your DS is at risk?

Is the DP his father?

Edited

She says partner of 2 years so no.

Beamur · 19/05/2024 00:39

I'd send your DP back to his own home. Reassure your DS that he will be fine by himself.
Does he have any nice friends he could invite to stay for the weekend? Whose parents could keep an eye on things if need be..

SpiritAdder · 19/05/2024 00:39

VelvetTurtle · 19/05/2024 00:37

She says partner of 2 years so no.

Show quote history

Round here couples break up, see others, get back together years later. So I didn’t want to assume.

randomas · 19/05/2024 00:40

He's 15 😂 he will be fine fgs 🤦🏻‍♀️

Tell the boyfriend to go home to his own place.

That's literally the end of it

FetchezLaVache · 19/05/2024 00:42

So sorry this has happened, but your boyfriend has really shown his true colours here. Text him back and tell him on no account to go to your home. Make sure DS leaves the key in the lock so your boyfriend can't let himself in.

Meadowfinch · 19/05/2024 00:46

Dump the selfish drunken arse of a boyfriend. Tell him not to bother coming back

Talk to your ds and check he is ok. Make sure your phone is fully charged and that he knows he can ring, whatever the hour, if he needs you. Remind him to lock up before going to bed.

Go home tomorrow.

Ursulla · 19/05/2024 00:48

Honestly?

What I'd do is get DS to stay with a friend whose parents you know. If one of my kids' friends was in such a situation I'd rather they were at ours for the night. Drunks are unpredictable and he's already being verbally aggressive.

Change the locks when you get back.

Original poster
BigBessie · 19/05/2024 00:48

It's killling me because I've never left my son for a weekend. And also because after 15 years I thought I'd finally found the love of my life.

I don't think "d"p will be violent or a threat or otherwise. Just a pissed twat. I'm so gutted. I have a train ticket booked for Monday but it looks like I'll have to come back tomorrow.

I'm also gutted that I trusted someone for once to look after my son and they let me down

OP posts:
UneFoisAuChalet · 19/05/2024 00:50

He’ll be fine. As long as your partner doesn’t turn up.

It’s far too late to call any of your son’s friends parents, so I’d tell him to bolt the doors and tell ‘dear’ partner to go back to his tonight.

And then I’d block the fucker.

Blueeyedmale · 19/05/2024 00:51

FetchezLaVache · 19/05/2024 00:42

So sorry this has happened, but your boyfriend has really shown his true colours here. Text him back and tell him on no account to go to your home. Make sure DS leaves the key in the lock so your boyfriend can't let himself in.

Absolutely agree with this no way would I want my son alone with a man like this after that abuse I would be worried about his safety.

I hope op does stay with her family tonight like she said she's 6 hours away and may not get many more opportunities bless her.

She's done it on her own for most of her sons life she can again she doesn't need this Man child giving her more to worry about

Precipice · 19/05/2024 00:53

The police?! You've got to be kidding. He's a teenager. He can be home alone and he can put himself to bed.

Your partner is unreliable and cannot be trusted. Consider whether this is someone you want to spend your life with.

VelvetTurtle · 19/05/2024 00:54

I'm not sure what you think the police would do in this situation?

Original poster
BigBessie · 19/05/2024 00:57

I realise I might sound a bit dramatic but he is a gentle sensitive soul

OP posts:
LadyGAgain · 19/05/2024 00:58

Your DP is a twat. You trusted him. He's massively cocked up.

Your son is fine! He's 15. He says he's ok and actually him having this time to 'fend' for himself is a good thing. Helicopter parenting needs some dialling down across the board.

Original poster
BigBessie · 19/05/2024 00:58

*my son, not the "d"p I mean

OP posts:
randomas · 19/05/2024 00:59

BigBessie · 19/05/2024 00:48

It's killling me because I've never left my son for a weekend. And also because after 15 years I thought I'd finally found the love of my life.

I don't think "d"p will be violent or a threat or otherwise. Just a pissed twat. I'm so gutted. I have a train ticket booked for Monday but it looks like I'll have to come back tomorrow.

I'm also gutted that I trusted someone for once to look after my son and they let me down

No don't come back. Get your son to have a friend stay over tomorrow aslong as he's not the type to have a party or tell your son to give a friends house to stay at tomorrow.

Unless he's SEN I really wouldn't be worrying (easier said than done) he is probably happy as Larry. Tell him he can order a pizza or whatever tomorrow for tea if he's staying at the house