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Original poster

Decide It's all over. Want SS to take him.

97 replies

Spopssas · 27/10/2023 02:10

I'm a shit mother.

OP posts:
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Dotcheck · 27/10/2023 02:12

How come? Your child most certainly won’t be better off in care.

DysmalRadius · 27/10/2023 02:32

I'm sure if you contact SS they will post you some help as it sounds like you're having a really tough time. If you want to talk, you can...

Hermittrismegistus · 27/10/2023 02:34

It's difficult to be a worse parent than the state.

What's happened to make you feel this way? Do you have some real life support you can lean on?

Lwrenagain · 27/10/2023 02:57

This isn't enough information to give you any useful advice or help, but I'm sending you a handhold 💐

Original poster
Spopssas · 27/10/2023 02:59

I drink a bottle of wine every night. Told by FSW that if this carries on SS will be involved. I also smoke fags and garden. I have a dog and chickens. Shit person. I agree. I wish they'd follow through instead of sitting on the sofa threatening me. Take him away!

OP posts:
Robotik · 27/10/2023 03:00

How old is he?

why does having animals make you a bad mother?

it sounds like you’re an alcoholic and you need support to get off the alcohol but that doesn’t make you a bad parent

Hermittrismegistus · 27/10/2023 03:03

I drink wine, smoke fags and have pets.

What's lead up to this? Why do you have a support worker in the first place?

Original poster
Spopssas · 27/10/2023 03:05

Because I'm a shit person and shit mother obviously.

OP posts:
Original poster
Spopssas · 27/10/2023 03:09

I accept it all. Ive just said yes yes yes whatever. They can deem him unsafe and take him away. Do it. I just want to say now, just stop sitting in my house telling me I'm shit 'I'm not judging you' she says. Just do it. Take him away.Put your career where your mouth is.

OP posts:
Robotik · 27/10/2023 03:10

I think you need support but I don’t really believe he will be better off in care

Hermittrismegistus · 27/10/2023 03:11

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Original poster
Spopssas · 27/10/2023 03:12

I don't understand why they don't follow through...if they have firm suspicions that my child is at risk why don't they follow through? If they don't, because they don't have firm beliefs, then stop saying that he is at risk. I want a report on my desk now, telling me how I am an at-risk mother. I want information. Not someone sitting on my sofa telling/threatening me. Which is what it feels like.

OP posts:
1stworldissues · 27/10/2023 03:14

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Ah the caring tone to this.

OP maybe just needs somewhere to vent.

OP use the FSW wisely, let them help and support you. If you actually were a shit parent they would already have taken your kid

user1492757084 · 27/10/2023 03:15

Your kid will want desperately for you to clean up your act enough to be able to stay with you.
Can you attend AA? The drinking will be affecting your work and your health and the other things in your life negatively.
You want to live a long and content life OP.
Try to secure help for yourself and take it one day at a time.
Do you have someone who can support you?

momager1 · 27/10/2023 03:15

@Spopssas gently.. are you drinking right now? It is Okay. It will be okay . You need to get some sleep and tackle this with a sober head , but tonight is not that time. You can ask for help if your alcohol consumption is causing these major problems. SS are there to help, you just need to ask them for the help. They are very much wanting to keep families together. It is always darkest before the dawn. Let tomorrow be YOUR dawn. You can do this (former 2 bottle a night drinker)

oksothisisusnow · 27/10/2023 03:16

Sorry OP, but are you a bottle of wine in?
Maybe that's unhelpful...
I don't think you're a bad person, stressed- yes, feeling judged-yes.
But as a single parent, and someone who has animals that you care for, it sounds like a large portion of your time is spent caring about other living things outside of you.

What are your plans RE drinking? It's entirely possible to stop with some support.

Are there other problems, or is alcohol the only problem?
Is your son happy and loved in your home?

ThePlatypusAlwaysTriumphs · 27/10/2023 03:17

We're all shit mothers, in our own way!
What age is your child? Do you feel deep down you need help (help not your dc taken away)
I've had so many times over the years where I've felt I wasn't the best mother/ don't know what I'm doing, but my lids are all now young adults and amazing, so I must not have been that bad! I hear stories of horrible parenting from their friends, whose parents I thought were holier than thou, so it really isn't straightforward

Original poster
Spopssas · 27/10/2023 03:22

nah I'm just a shit mother and person all round. The chicken can do one.

OP posts:
Original poster
Spopssas · 27/10/2023 03:26

Hermittrismegistus · Today 03:11

You sound like you're drunk at the moment. Go to bed and sleep it off. Post for advice when sober.

I don't know know how to reply to individual posts, so I've just copied pasted this from this person. How horrible.

OP posts:
momager1 · 27/10/2023 03:29

@Spopssas please ignore that poster! That was rude and uncalled for! I think maybe you may have been drinking as your post sounds that way, but no reason for anyone to kick another mother when she is down. We should be here to pick each other up and support each other. Tomorrow is a new day my lovely. Can you make a sweet hot cuppa tea and try to stop the intrusive thoughts for tonight?

Hermittrismegistus · 27/10/2023 03:31

I don't mean to be horrible. Flowers

Your posts do come across as a if you're a little drunk and you have mentioned drinking a bottle of wine per night so I don't think I'm likely to be wrong though?

Frintononsea · 27/10/2023 03:33

Op you are the person your ds wants most of all. However shit or not shit a mother you are.

It’s the bottle of wine a night that is getting between you and your ds. And it’s making you feel shit because alcohol is a depressant

Anf it sounds like SS aren’t following through right now because they are giving you fair warning and a chance to get yourself together.

Why are you drinking so much anyway? What feelings are you trying to block out or avoid?

Wishing you and your ds well x

Original poster
Spopssas · 27/10/2023 03:33

The FSW today suggested registering my son as a young carer. Bring it on I said.

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PyongyangKipperbang · 27/10/2023 03:35

The thing is, you are not going to ask the right questions if you have had a drink, or indeed get the right advice.

So I agree that waiting until you feel in a better and more in control state of mind might be better.

But that said, I had SS involved after my ex was removed after serious violence (that I had been asking for help with and didnt get), and they basically implied that the violence was my fault and that their involvement was my fault. That if I put a foot wrong the kids would be considered as being in danger (he was gone, police made sure he could never come back). And then was told that their involvement was voluntary but if I didnt agree then they would re-evaluate my attitude, so not voluntary at all!

And then, despite all the "we are not judging you" judging......the SW involved left that job and in the years since I have heard nothing. Case not closed presumably, but equally, no contact. So not in that much danger then?

BlinkerGoBlink · 27/10/2023 03:39

How old is your child?

“Register as a young carer”. Is your child having to care for you due to alcohol dependence?