Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Original poster

How offten should I let my ex see his son

101 replies

Angel1986 · 13/02/2023 12:15

I've just spit with my ex after having his baby he hasn't done nothing wrong actually was really supportive toward me. But I unfortunately I fallen out of love for him. He wants access to see his son but I don't know if a new born baby should be taken away from his mum. He's asking to have him for a few hours on Saturday and Sunday to bond is that to much

OP posts:
MichelleScarn · 13/02/2023 12:17

Why would that be too much to let the baby bond with his dad?

Original poster
Angel1986 · 13/02/2023 12:21

MichelleScarn · 13/02/2023 12:17

Why would that be too much to let the baby bond with his dad?

I want him to bond with his son not sure if to much time to be away from me

OP posts:
Tomeeornottomee · 13/02/2023 12:21

You've said yourself he has done nothing wrong. He wants to see his son. You chose to end the relationship between the two of you. You don't get to choose to stop the relationship he clearly wants with his child.

Original poster
Angel1986 · 13/02/2023 12:23

Tomeeornottomee · 13/02/2023 12:21

You've said yourself he has done nothing wrong. He wants to see his son. You chose to end the relationship between the two of you. You don't get to choose to stop the relationship he clearly wants with his child.

I'm stop stopping him I'm not sure at 6 weeks old he should be away from me

OP posts:
SpinningFloppa · 13/02/2023 12:24

Are you breastfeeding? If not no reason why he shouldn’t spend some time away from you with his father he’s not asking to have him overnight

Flounder2022 · 13/02/2023 12:24

Angel1986 · 13/02/2023 12:15

I've just spit with my ex after having his baby he hasn't done nothing wrong actually was really supportive toward me. But I unfortunately I fallen out of love for him. He wants access to see his son but I don't know if a new born baby should be taken away from his mum. He's asking to have him for a few hours on Saturday and Sunday to bond is that to much

How old is baby? Are you breastfeeding? If the baby is still very young and you have a good relationship with your ex can he spend time with his son at your home? Might also give you a chance to have a nap or a shower or anything else you might like to do.

Original poster
Angel1986 · 13/02/2023 12:25

SpinningFloppa · 13/02/2023 12:24

Are you breastfeeding? If not no reason why he shouldn’t spend some time away from you with his father he’s not asking to have him overnight

No I'm not breastfeeding

OP posts:
Original poster
Angel1986 · 13/02/2023 12:27

Flounder2022 · 13/02/2023 12:24

How old is baby? Are you breastfeeding? If the baby is still very young and you have a good relationship with your ex can he spend time with his son at your home? Might also give you a chance to have a nap or a shower or anything else you might like to do.

Show quote history

My son is 6 weeks. I offered to him to come round my home but he says it's too hard being around me

OP posts:
Flounder2022 · 13/02/2023 12:28

Angel1986 · 13/02/2023 12:23

I'm stop stopping him I'm not sure at 6 weeks old he should be away from me

Show quote history

6 weeks is teeny. I’d have struggled to be away from my son for any time when he was that small so I totally get your apprehension. If him coming to yours is not an option and you are not BFing I’d start off slow. Maybe an hour or 2 initially.

Flounder2022 · 13/02/2023 12:30

Angel1986 · 13/02/2023 12:27

My son is 6 weeks. I offered to him to come round my home but he says it's too hard being around me

Show quote history

To be honest it’s not really about him. Or you. He might just have to suck it up if it’s hard. It has to be what is right and best l for your son.

CalloohCallayFrabjousDay · 13/02/2023 12:30

If you're not breastfeeding then baby doesn't need you - harsh I know, but you should let the dad have baby for that time. Baby can be away from you, it's not going to harm them.

Original poster
Angel1986 · 13/02/2023 12:31

Flounder2022 · 13/02/2023 12:28

6 weeks is teeny. I’d have struggled to be away from my son for any time when he was that small so I totally get your apprehension. If him coming to yours is not an option and you are not BFing I’d start off slow. Maybe an hour or 2 initially.

Show quote history

That's what I thought but supervised he doesn't want that

OP posts:
beAsensible1 · 13/02/2023 12:33

Don't be silly, if you were together your baby would spend hours with their father every day.

Ideally he should be seeing the baby every week and unless the baby is breastfed, it's fine to have overnights.

He is the father and should be given equal access to his child. Babies NEED carers wether its a mother or father isn't a big deal.

Mia85 · 13/02/2023 12:33

Why do you want him to be supervised? Do you have any concerns about safety?

KangarooKenny · 13/02/2023 12:34

A 6 week old baby who isn’t breast fed can go with his dad for a few hours. I started leaving mine to go out at that age.
Any chance you can use that set time to get some work or do a regular gym/hobby ?

Original poster
Angel1986 · 13/02/2023 12:35

Mia85 · 13/02/2023 12:33

Why do you want him to be supervised? Do you have any concerns about safety?

No concerns but he's just so tiny

OP posts:
AllThingsServeTheBeam · 13/02/2023 12:35

That's harsh IMO op. You should let him have his son. If you were BF then there would be an argument. How do you think he's feeling not able to see his child at all on his own?

PizzaPastaWine · 13/02/2023 12:35

I don't think his request is unreasonable. Perhaps start at 1hr and work up from there.

beAsensible1 · 13/02/2023 12:35

Angel1986 · 13/02/2023 12:31

That's what I thought but supervised he doesn't want that

Show quote history

Unless he is a danger he doesn't need to be supervised and while its upsetting there is no medical or legal reason why the father cannot have a baby overnight from six weeks.

Unfortunately this is about you and how you feel which is understandable but if he decided to go to court he would be entitled to 50/50 even at 6 weeks.

UnfinishedBusiness · 13/02/2023 12:35

Why would you need it to be supervised? Is anyone supervising you as a parent?

WeWereInParis · 13/02/2023 12:36

I want him to bond with his son not sure if to much time to be away from me

A few hours a couple of times a week isn't that much though. If you were still together you probably wouldn't think twice about him taking the baby out for a walk or something on a Saturday afternoon while you rested.

SunshineAndFizz · 13/02/2023 12:37

If you have no concerns about him, then he should have time with the baby.

Start off having him at yours and then build up to the baby going to his dads. You can give them space, don't need to hang out in the same room or anything when he's at yours, but I'd feel more comfortable for the first couple of times if I was there.

GrasstrackGirl · 13/02/2023 12:39

So you used your ex as a sperm donor and now you're trying to block access?

beAsensible1 · 13/02/2023 12:40

None of this is based on anything though? its wildly unfair, he as father is only allowed a few supervised hours one day a week based on nothing other than how she feels?

Allow him to be an active parent

HaroldTheeStallion · 13/02/2023 12:42

I'm stop stopping him I'm not sure at 6 weeks old he should be away from me

Why? Why should your ex be deprived of a bond with his child, and your son be deprived of a relationship with his father just because you don't love your ex anymore?

You realise fathers care for their teeny babies all of the time, right? Yes it'll be hard for you to be away from your son, but that's the nature of co-parenting. Your ex never going to learn how to parent his child if you don't give him the opportunity, and since there are no actual concerns, and you aren't breastfeeding, what is the actual issue other than 'I don't want to'? Sorry Op, you're being unfair to both of them.