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Lone parents

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Original poster

Ex wants childrens birth certificates

86 replies

confusedmummy123 · 11/01/2022 11:16

Hi. Hope I'm posting in the right place. Been divorced from my ex for years but he still causes grief. Last week he wouldn't let me have my 6 and 9 year old back. I'm going to get solicitor advice on what to do of that happens again.
Last night he informed me that he had quit his job that day and was going to claim universal credit and that he wants the childrens birth certificates to make a copy for his claim.
This worries me as I feel he is going to make out that he is the main carer for the children to try and falsley claim. Also I don't feel comfortable giving the birth certificates to him. He is on their birth certificate but everyone is telling me that he can just apply to get his own copies. I'm worried about telling him I'm not prepared to hand them over and he will have to get his own copies as he will kick off.
Any advice would be gratefully received.

OP posts:
Glenthebattleostrich · 11/01/2022 11:20

What a shame you can't find them. You were sure you put them in the drawer with the other important things...

Be very careful because it does sound like he is trying to claim he is the resident parent. This could lead to him trying to claim maintenance from you.

WRT the not handing kids back, again, as he as parental rights he can keep them without a court order. I would suggest getting something in writing to agree child arrangements asap

Whatayear81 · 11/01/2022 11:21

He is perfectly entitled to pay to get certified copies. Tell him to do that
You owe the originals

Whatayear81 · 11/01/2022 11:22

You keep the originals

Kbyodjs · 11/01/2022 11:29

I don’t want to scare monger but that raises alarm bells for me that he is going to do a universal credit claim then keep the children in his care.
I’d be getting some advice from a solicitor before they go to his again and try to keep communication in writing so you can prove what he is doing.
Just say you need the birth certificates or that you can’t find them: he can order his own copy and it will delay him a bit.

Starlightstarbright1 · 11/01/2022 11:34

I would get solicitors advicd before you do anything including further contact

Original poster
confusedmummy123 · 11/01/2022 11:36

I've booked a solicitors appointment . The problem is he knows I'm so tidy and organised so don't think he would buy the oh I can't find them. The lady at the solicitors I just spoke to said not to pass them over to him so may just say I have sought legal advise and been advised legally not to pass them to him and to get his own copies

OP posts:
CornishGem1975 · 11/01/2022 11:37

Regardless of whether you do or don't give them to him, he can just get new copies himself so withholding them won't stop whatever it is he's up to. (Not saying give them to him by the way, but I would try and find out what's going on...)

NothingIsWrong · 11/01/2022 11:39

DO you claim the child benefit or does he? In general, a UC claim would go to the parent in receipt of the CB. Beware of him trying to make a claim for that as well

Whatayear81 · 11/01/2022 11:39

It’s so simple for him to get certified Copies

Just send him the link I posted and say - here we go

Whatayear81 · 11/01/2022 11:40

What’s the split? 50/50?

Original poster
confusedmummy123 · 11/01/2022 11:50

I claim child benefit. He has the kids on a Mon and weds 4 til 6.30 and Saturday morning til Sunday 6pm although he is very inconsistent in having them at weekends and often cancels or says he can't have them over.

OP posts:
Heckythump1 · 11/01/2022 11:53
  1. He's entitled to have copies of his own child's birth certificates.

but....

  1. You definitely do not need birth certificates to claim UC... plus I believe he will only be able to claim UC for the children if he is also in receipt of their child benefit.
Youngstreet · 11/01/2022 11:53

I would find a safe place for the birth certificates that he doesn't know about.
If you're tidy he will find them easily if he gets in your house.

Fizzgigg · 11/01/2022 11:55

@Heckythump1

1. He's entitled to have copies of his own child's birth certificates.

but....

  1. You definitely do not need birth certificates to claim UC... plus I believe he will only be able to claim UC for the children if he is also in receipt of their child benefit.
He is entitled to them, but he's not entitled to her copies of them. He can get his own.
elelel · 11/01/2022 11:55

The problem is he knows I'm so tidy and organised so don't think he would buy the oh I can't find them. The lady at the solicitors I just spoke to said not to pass them over to him so may just say I have sought legal advise and been advised legally not to pass them to him and to get his own copies

You don't need an excuse to say no. Was he controlling during your relationship? He seems to be pulling some strings here. You are allowed to just say no to him without citing legal advice.

Woeismethischristmas · 11/01/2022 11:56

@Heckythump1

1. He's entitled to have copies of his own child's birth certificates.

but....

  1. You definitely do not need birth certificates to claim UC... plus I believe he will only be able to claim UC for the children if he is also in receipt of their child benefit.
When I claimed us they wanted a copy of the birth certificate or passport of child. To claim child benefit they wanted the number at top of certificate. I’d certainly prepare myself to go to court and get custody arrangements firmed up.
WB205020 · 11/01/2022 12:03

As per others and what your solicitor has advised, do not hand them over.

1 other point.....you mention his visitation is inconsistent and he cancels. Make a details note of every occasion this happens and if you can go back a couple of months to record previous events, perhaps with text messages to back it up.

If he does try and go for further custody it wont show him in a good light and any family court would be unlikely to extend custody etc. to an unreliable parent.....they may even reduce it! Keeping records, the more details the better, is absolutely key here though!

saleorbouy · 11/01/2022 12:07

I'm amazed about how obstructive most of the post are on here. As the father he is just as entitled to parent the children as the mother. I don't understand the negativity against a father wanting a legal document to allow him to do administration.
Would posts be so skewed and biased if the roles were reversed and it was the father withholding the documents from the mother?

Heckythump1 · 11/01/2022 12:07

@Woeismethischristmas yes, you'll need BC for Child benefit... but we claim UC and we never needed BC for that :)

Viviennemary · 11/01/2022 12:07

Do not hand them over. Tell him to apply for his own copies.

DropYourSword · 11/01/2022 12:14

@saleorbouy

I'm amazed about how obstructive most of the post are on here. As the father he is just as entitled to parent the children as the mother. I don't understand the negativity against a father wanting a legal document to allow him to do administration. Would posts be so skewed and biased if the roles were reversed and it was the father withholding the documents from the mother?
What’s difficult to understand about the fact that HE is perfectly capable of getting his own copies!
Starlightstarbright1 · 11/01/2022 12:15

@saleorbouy

I'm amazed about how obstructive most of the post are on here. As the father he is just as entitled to parent the children as the mother. I don't understand the negativity against a father wanting a legal document to allow him to do administration. Would posts be so skewed and biased if the roles were reversed and it was the father withholding the documents from the mother?
It isn't about been obstructive for the sake of it unless 50/50 he won't be able to claim for the dc.

Reading the post he is up to something else.. He has quit hus job presumably avoiding maintenance.

elelel · 11/01/2022 12:26

I'm amazed about how obstructive most of the post are on here. As the father he is just as entitled to parent the children as the mother.

Nobody is stopping him parent his children by suggesting he gets his own copies of the BCs. It's lazy arsed behaviour. Why should OP part with the BCs she has, for her children, to save him the effort of doing it himself?

I don't understand the negativity against a father wanting a legal document to allow him to do administration.

If it's admin he wants to do he can start by getting his own copies of their BCs Hmm

GiltEdges · 11/01/2022 12:32

Reading the post he is up to something else.. He has quit hus job presumably avoiding maintenance.

Speaking of which... do your children already have passports OP? And does your ex have any family / connections outside of the country?