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Original poster

Ex wants childrens birth certificates

86 replies

confusedmummy123 · 11/01/2022 11:16

Hi. Hope I'm posting in the right place. Been divorced from my ex for years but he still causes grief. Last week he wouldn't let me have my 6 and 9 year old back. I'm going to get solicitor advice on what to do of that happens again.
Last night he informed me that he had quit his job that day and was going to claim universal credit and that he wants the childrens birth certificates to make a copy for his claim.
This worries me as I feel he is going to make out that he is the main carer for the children to try and falsley claim. Also I don't feel comfortable giving the birth certificates to him. He is on their birth certificate but everyone is telling me that he can just apply to get his own copies. I'm worried about telling him I'm not prepared to hand them over and he will have to get his own copies as he will kick off.
Any advice would be gratefully received.

OP posts:
theremustonlybeone · 11/01/2022 12:41

Its interesting he wants the birth certificates for a benefits claim. He is likely going to suggest he has them full time and get more money.

If he refused to bring them home last week I think I would be holding back contact until you get legal advice and ensure you get a residency order before handing them over.

StrifeOfBath · 11/01/2022 12:43

@saleorbouy

I'm amazed about how obstructive most of the post are on here. As the father he is just as entitled to parent the children as the mother. I don't understand the negativity against a father wanting a legal document to allow him to do administration. Would posts be so skewed and biased if the roles were reversed and it was the father withholding the documents from the mother?
Does the context of his refusing to return them after contact mean nothing to you?

Does the context of his giving up his job (so presumably no CMS) to claim UC and wanting their BCs not raise any questions in your mind?

Context is all. Many MN posts rightly defend fathers’ rights. Use your sanctimony where it is due.

CharlotteRose90 · 11/01/2022 12:50

He won’t get benefits if you are the primary carer. My guess is he wants to try and get passports. The primary parent normally gets the doctors like birth certificates etc . He needs to pay if he wants them.

carolsforxmas · 11/01/2022 12:56

I would be concerned that he is using it as an excuse so that he can obtain passports. If you are the resident parent the DC are irrelevant to any universal credit claim he could legitimately make.

NoLongerTroels · 11/01/2022 12:57

Doesn't she need to go to court to have paperwork as the residential parent or something so he can't refuse to send them back? I don't think they do full custody in UK.
I'd find out how to contact UC to let them know he's planning a fraudulent claim using the children who live with you, not him.

Sunbeams09 · 11/01/2022 13:00

Passports were the first thing that sprang to my mind as well. Do you already have passports in the chickens names? If not could you apply quickly just in case that was his plan?

Sunbeams09 · 11/01/2022 13:01

Chickens?! 😂 I meant children!

CombatBarbie · 11/01/2022 13:02

Sounds like he is planning on claiming the CB, if this does happen, the proof required if no CAO is in place is the address the children are registered for school and doctors. Just so you know.

Tell him to order his own copies so each parent has a set. I wouldn't be handing over passports though.

Koshnique · 11/01/2022 13:10

Is he applying for passports?

Original poster
confusedmummy123 · 11/01/2022 14:14

Hi. The children do not have passports. I did wonder if he was going to make a fraudulent claim would UC check with doctors and school for the address they are registered with (which is me) . He has never paid maitenance.

OP posts:
Santaisstilleatingmincepies · 11/01/2022 14:18

Keep anything that shows you as the main carer. Receipts etc .. School letters to you /your address. Ask school for a copy of their entry paperwork with your address on. Same with GP.
Ring child benefit and say you belief him to be putting in a fraudulent counter claim. Hand him nothing.

womaninatightspot · 11/01/2022 14:19

[quote Heckythump1]@Woeismethischristmas yes, you'll need BC for Child benefit... but we claim UC and we never needed BC for that :)[/quote]
You do if you're not already claiming child benefit for the child.

negomi90 · 11/01/2022 14:20

Does he have any links abroad? That's my first thought, you need birth certificates for passports.

Lazypuppy · 11/01/2022 14:22

OP i would apply for passports yourself for the children and keep them safe so he can't apply for them

PigletJohn · 11/01/2022 14:22

OOI, does he have family or connections overseas?

Theunamedcat · 11/01/2022 14:24

Open a cms case against him?

Why hasn't he been paying?

redastherose · 11/01/2022 14:26

Don't give him your original copies. If you don't get them back the copies you can buy are never the same as they are just that 'copies'. I'd just say he can buy his own copies for his usage as you don't want the originals being lost by the DHSS.

LaBellina · 11/01/2022 14:29

My first thought was get your DC passports.
Do NOT give him the birth certificates.
He can apply for his own copies.
You’re his ex, you don’t owe him this. You don’t even owe him an explanation on why you won’t give them. He’s not entitled to getting them from you.

Comefromaway · 11/01/2022 14:30

Does he own or rent?

It could be that he would be entitled to housing benefit for more bedrooms if he has the children staying with him on a regular basis.

JustWonderingIfYou · 11/01/2022 14:30

Can you say you've sent them off for something else? Like passport or something and you don't have them back yet. Then long delays cos of covid?

Danikm151 · 11/01/2022 14:34

He can't claim benefits for the children if you are already claiming, tell him that and be done with it. It can't be split either.

EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 11/01/2022 14:34

He's not going to get UC for them if you are already claiming child benefit. I would phone or email child benefit to make them aware that he could try fraudulently claiming child benefit but that the children's primary residence is with you

Ihatestripysocks · 11/01/2022 14:36

He have shock if he think he can claim by giving up his job because he doesn’t feel like it. With a 6&9 y old he will have to be at job centre regular basis and fulfilling all job seeking rules they apply. He may get away working part time if he does have have children but he seems think it’s a easier life style choice.

TellMeItsPossible · 11/01/2022 14:36

I would order passports for them yourself, OP.

Comefromaway · 11/01/2022 14:43

@Ihatestripysocks

He have shock if he think he can claim by giving up his job because he doesn’t feel like it. With a 6&9 y old he will have to be at job centre regular basis and fulfilling all job seeking rules they apply. He may get away working part time if he does have have children but he seems think it’s a easier life style choice.
He also might be sanctioned for up to 3 months if they feel he resigned without good reason.
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