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Original poster

Ex wants childrens birth certificates

86 replies

confusedmummy123 · 11/01/2022 11:16

Hi. Hope I'm posting in the right place. Been divorced from my ex for years but he still causes grief. Last week he wouldn't let me have my 6 and 9 year old back. I'm going to get solicitor advice on what to do of that happens again.
Last night he informed me that he had quit his job that day and was going to claim universal credit and that he wants the childrens birth certificates to make a copy for his claim.
This worries me as I feel he is going to make out that he is the main carer for the children to try and falsley claim. Also I don't feel comfortable giving the birth certificates to him. He is on their birth certificate but everyone is telling me that he can just apply to get his own copies. I'm worried about telling him I'm not prepared to hand them over and he will have to get his own copies as he will kick off.
Any advice would be gratefully received.

OP posts:
TheChip · 12/01/2022 18:38

That is a good point.

Let him take you to court for contact. He clearly has MH issues that need addressed. He has already tried keeping the kids from you. He has told you he is planning on claiming tax credits for the kids after quitting his job. An indication that he plans on taking the kids from you again. He is abusive.

You are well within your rights, and it probably is your safest option to withhold contact until he seeks it through the courts with a court order.

mathanxiety · 12/01/2022 18:42

Ignore the close family members. Their thoughts are irrelevant.

Is the visitation arrangement court ordered?

TheWeeDonkey · 12/01/2022 19:07

Your close family member is not thinking straight. Why would they want your children, children I hope they care about in the care of someone going through a mental crisis and who is a suicide risk.

I think you have done the right thing, your priority is the children's welfare.

Sorry you're going through this 💐

crochetandshit · 12/01/2022 19:09

I think you should text or email him. Only x hours ago you were at my door threatening suicide (in front of the dc?) and causing such a scene that I was frightened enough to call the police.
No, you won't be seeing the children today and I am shocked you think it is appropriate to ask. I will be seeking legal advice regarding contact as I feel supervised for the foreseeable is the best thing for the children after their upset.

Or something like that.

Original poster
confusedmummy123 · 12/01/2022 19:46

Seeing a solicitor next Friday. It's all gone on long enough now

OP posts:
Lovelymincepies · 12/01/2022 19:48

Its very easy for him to get his own copies, you literally get them via online site.

mathanxiety · 12/01/2022 19:50

Good for you. Talk about whether he can be kept to supervised contact in light of his suicide threats and histrionics in front of the DCs.

Don't send him any communication wrt contact apart from 'You are correct' in answer to his question.

Undertheoldlindentree · 13/01/2022 20:56

Stay strong.

Get good friends around you so you can have the odd chat or coffee as a break from all the stress. Keep copies of everything. If his texts or emails are bothering you, direct them to different folders and just check once a week with a friend present to help reduce their impact. Or just don't read them at all for a while. Maybe the police can restrict him from visiting you. Let the school know about his behaviour and ask them in writing not to release the children to him at the end of the day or if he visits school for events.

Your children will benefit so much from your calmness and strength to get through this (with practical legal advice) and dignity. Remember you are a great person and a great parent. FlowersStarFlowersStar

Original poster
confusedmummy123 · 13/01/2022 22:55

@Undertheoldlindentree

Stay strong.

Get good friends around you so you can have the odd chat or coffee as a break from all the stress. Keep copies of everything. If his texts or emails are bothering you, direct them to different folders and just check once a week with a friend present to help reduce their impact. Or just don't read them at all for a while. Maybe the police can restrict him from visiting you. Let the school know about his behaviour and ask them in writing not to release the children to him at the end of the day or if he visits school for events.

Your children will benefit so much from your calmness and strength to get through this (with practical legal advice) and dignity. Remember you are a great person and a great parent. FlowersStarFlowersStar

Thank you. That means a lot 😃
OP posts:
user1486131602 · 13/01/2022 23:24

Mine asked for our dd cert to open a saving account for her, that led to him claiming child benefit and WTC credit for her and the HMRC chasing me for fraud!

Lesson....if he wants copies tell him to get some from the registrar office! And call the benefits offices to let them know the kids live with you.

Original poster
confusedmummy123 · 14/01/2022 11:51

@user1486131602

Mine asked for our dd cert to open a saving account for her, that led to him claiming child benefit and WTC credit for her and the HMRC chasing me for fraud!

Lesson....if he wants copies tell him to get some from the registrar office! And call the benefits offices to let them know the kids live with you.

Hi rhats what I was worried about!
OP posts:
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