Ex wanting more Custody

[cosmicbabe]

Quick background. My Ex never wanted our son and eventually left us when our son was a year old. Obvs another woman was involved too. I moved back to where I grew up to be closer to family as we had none where we were.

Over the years he has kept up to 99% of his weekends, him coming to see our son and staying with his family whom are also where I live.

2 years ago I met my now partner and we have just moved in together. Clearly this has upset my ex whom has now stated he wants our son to go and live with him full time (4 hours away). Our son is now 8. I have told him this isn't going to happen and he's threatened me by saying he will do whatever it takes.... So today I get an email stating how he wished the childcare arrangements to change as he wants to now see his son more than 4 times a month. Expecting me to give up my weekends so he can have him and for me to start driving our son up to see him (assume I'll have to stay in hotels)

I assume he can't dictate to me what he wants after 8 years of me being the primary care giver. It's unsettling for me and worrying for our son as he has come home this weekend clearly upset saying his dad wants him to go and live with him (again as he's been saying it for a while now). My son is scared to say no to his dad but wants the reassurance from me he doesn't have to go ect.

Has anyone else been in this position?... thanks

Thanks everyone. I've not slept well worrying about all this. X

How about offering him more in school holidays? This means there's not the need for travel increases during term time and it will allow him to see DS more often?

I think you're going to have to meet in the middle a little here. Unless there's a danger to your child then there's not really anything wrong with Dad wanting extra time with his child.

It's a common myth that if you have a court order and the child's not returned the police will help out. This is not true!
It's a cevil matter and unless there are welfair conserns the police are not interested. If both parents have perental responsibility and the child is not returned the police may do a a welfare check but that's all. You are certainly not covered by the police.
I would try and work with him and if possible and in the best interests of the child increase contact, somehow. One parent having full custody is very very unlikely as there's been no risk to the child.