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Lone parents

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Original poster

I hate men. sorry.

501 replies

MascaraOHara · 27/09/2007 21:50

but there's nobody here to talk to and I just had to get that off my chest.

And I hate myself for being so hopeful when I meet someone I think I could really like.

It's just wanky.

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Dior · 15/10/2007 16:52

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Original poster
MascaraOHara · 15/10/2007 17:10

lol, IMVHO they're all total arseholes - just sometimes we don't see it straight away

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Original poster
MascaraOHara · 15/10/2007 17:10

do tell about current crush..

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LittleMissVampireSlayer · 15/10/2007 20:09

MOH i went through simliar feelings not so long ago, gp offered counceling and happy pills. Basically my ds father was messing me about and couldnt decide if he wanted to be in a 'serious' relationship (still lives with his mother and couldnt make the effort to spend even one night at my place helping out) he had ignored me all through my pg because he didnt want to be a dad then chnged his mind when ds was 3m old, i was spending every day crying in a state of frustration/confusion/resentment/rejection. wanted to stay in my dressing gown and watch jeremy kyle instead of going to work, thats when i knew i hit a low so i made the decision to get my life back together and get strong with or without him, all i can say is give it time, keep talking to your friends and family about how you feel and eventually you will start to feel better. i never did try the counceling, but maybe it will help

Dior · 15/10/2007 20:21

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Original poster
MascaraOHara · 16/10/2007 09:30

did write a massive post but it got lost.

might write it all down again later.

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MellowMa · 16/10/2007 10:16

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Original poster
MascaraOHara · 16/10/2007 10:37

Oh no, dd is currently lapping up the attention - we curled up on sofa last night for an hour and giggled at Shaun the sheep.

and she said "mummy I love it when we snuggled up it makes me feel all warm and cuddly. Mummy I love you"

I look fabulous and he looks like crap today. Although I feel like throwing myself at his feet and begging him to want me. I'm in a good mood.. I'm all bubbly today and having a right laugh in the office. it's weird because internal I feel like I'm destroyed.

waiting to feel better. Obviously the sane part of my brain knows these feelings will pass and it's just a matter of time.

I sent him a begging text this morning, I am disugusted with myself. I even put at the end of it - "I'm feel disgusted with myself saying that" hate to say I feel like I really fell completely head-over-heels for him but I can't say that I'm 100% as I comp;eltely know in the rational part of my mind that that feeling was probably not genuine as so mixed up about everything else.

I know I will feel better next week and the week after that but for the time being this is completely crappola

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Original poster
MascaraOHara · 16/10/2007 10:39

oh and I have promised myself I won't get involved with another man anytime soon. I used to be strong, confident and happy on ym own. I want to feel like that again.

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MellowMa · 16/10/2007 10:49

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Tinkerbel5 · 16/10/2007 12:38

Mascara dont send any more texts, I think you should give yourself at least 6 months without dating anyone, your little girl needs you and it will hurt her to see you constantly miserable, do nice things like dvd nights, trips to the park, cinema and days out outings, there are lots of freebies out there and if you take snacks it will hardly cost you a thing, chin up x

Original poster
MascaraOHara · 16/10/2007 13:40

No, no more texts. No more men for a looooong time

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Dior · 16/10/2007 14:04

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Original poster
MascaraOHara · 16/10/2007 14:06

I can't lol, I have from my personal mobilebut I can't from my work mobile.

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Dior · 16/10/2007 14:08

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Dior · 16/10/2007 14:09

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Original poster
MascaraOHara · 16/10/2007 14:24

I'm not going to contact him again, I told him that this morning.

Was fine until about 10mins ago. Now feel crap again. Ate lunch and now feel really tired and miserable.

Really want to talk to him. I keep swinging from one chain of thought to another.

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Dior · 16/10/2007 14:28

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Original poster
MascaraOHara · 16/10/2007 14:42

it's getting worse. was doing so well.

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Original poster
MascaraOHara · 16/10/2007 15:36

Am really really having to fight the urge to go speak to him now.

It's likely I will be here after everyone else this eve so may just be me and him in the office, will be interesting to see if he speaks.

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Original poster
MascaraOHara · 16/10/2007 16:01

Just talked to him about work. he didn't even ask how I was. wanker.

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Original poster
MascaraOHara · 16/10/2007 16:21

Ok so just bumped into him in corridor "his words were "Oh I thought you were down there" to me this implies ... I thought it was safe to leave my office cos you were at your desk. Do you think that's how he meant it? I want to ask him but obviously can't without sounding like a nutcase.

he looks very down/pissed off. Just want to wrap my arms round him. Why do I want to make him feel better when he's made me feel so bad.

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charliecat · 16/10/2007 16:26

Oh god Dont ask him.
You have called an end to it because? Or he has because?????

Original poster
MascaraOHara · 16/10/2007 16:30

I'm not going to ask him, don't worry.

Not really sure why we called an end to it.. I think because he didn't know what was up and I said if he didn't know if he wanted me then something was obviously not right but also that I was starting to have feelings for him and so he needed to make the decision.

Secretly (he doesn't know) I had completely fallen for him and am completely gutted

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charliecat · 16/10/2007 16:42

And now hes wlaking round looking miserable? Is there anyway to backl track on this or deep down do you know its the right thing to do?