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Original poster

Is it possible to remain on friendly terms with your ex, and move on with your life?

58 replies

Pinkchampagne · 21/09/2007 19:18

Things have been pretty amicable between ex H & myself since our separation, which is good for the boys, so I would like things to stay as friendly as possible.

The thing is, I can't see this continuing if I move on with my life & meet someone else.
I think ex H would go mad, and the fact he is so close to my family doesn't help matters.

Do you think it is possible to remain on friendly terms, and get on with your life, or do things normally turn nasty?

I worry about the boys, and don't want to cause any further upset.

OP posts:
Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 21/09/2007 19:32

I think ex H holds a small bit of hope that one day I will want him back.

OP posts:
BBBee · 21/09/2007 19:34

my friend has managed this but they were both clear and sure about the split.

How do you thnk your ex will react when you get a new partner?

munz · 21/09/2007 19:37

not sure will let you know - things are amicable now but I think it's only a matter of time before things get nasty.

Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 21/09/2007 19:43

I think he will go mad if he finds out I have been out with another man (which I have, although nothing serious), and I feel the amicable bit may stop, which would be awful for the boys.

OP posts:
allgonebellyup · 21/09/2007 20:30

in my experience, things start off really well (i mean staying friends) but the moment one of you finds a new partner it all changes.
my ex has found someone new and they are having a baby, in the space of 3months.

Now we dont talk at all, except for the occasional argument.

Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 21/09/2007 20:37

Met a new partner & having a baby within 3 months of you separating??!!

I fear that things will get horrible once one of us moves on, and that would be very unsettling for the children.

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Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 21/09/2007 20:38

Must be horrible for you, AGBU.

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allgonebellyup · 21/09/2007 20:43

Well we split 5 months ago and he met her 3 months ago, baby due in May next year.
it is truly the worst thing ive been through so far, even my eyelashes have fallen out due to the shock it gave me, and the utter misery.

Hope your situation is not so bad!

Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 21/09/2007 20:47

Oh you poor thing. It must have felt like a real kick in the teeth for you.

OP posts:
allgonebellyup · 21/09/2007 20:49

yeah it was, and is, horrendous, i only found out 7 days ago about the baby, have lost nearly a stone in weight.
just want to die really.

sorry for hijacking your thread.
hope you can stay friendly with your ex and your children are ok.

Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 21/09/2007 20:52

How horrible for you. I can't begin to imagine how upsetting that must have been. Look after yourself.

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Anna8888 · 21/09/2007 20:54

Pinkchampagne - my partner and his ex wife are on amicable terms despite a very messy break up. It does happen

lou33 · 21/09/2007 20:54

if he goes mad then it is his problem not yours, you are not property and he doesnt own you

i would think there might be tension initially but then it would sort itself out in hte end

am hoping for that when exh returns to the uk anyway

almostmidnight · 21/09/2007 21:00

Hi, I'm like allgonebellyup. My ex was having affair though and found out recently she is expecting his baby. He only left 3 months ago. Thing is he tried to come on to me again today for the second time. I don't understand what he is playing at. I am at the point now where I don't want him back and discovering there is a new life to be had out there. Getting chatted up on Facebook at the minute and although it is just for fun it has done my confidence the power of good.

I hope we can stay friends, he was the one at the start saying he wanted to but then the truth starts to come out so has been difficult. Would like to think we can stay on friendly terms to make things easier for the girls.

Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 21/09/2007 21:06

Oh no, Lou, I didn't realise your ex was returning. How do you feel about that?

almostmidnight - I admire your attitude to all you have been through.

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muma3 · 21/09/2007 21:19

no i dont, i think you should be given a licence for a dangerous weapon
thats me personally

Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 21/09/2007 21:24

Lol, muma3! Are you feeling a bit cross?!

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muma3 · 21/09/2007 22:40

a little but im allowed says all the self help websites . i shouldnt hold it in lol

Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 22/09/2007 08:37

Of course you're allowed!

It's hard because when you have children with someone, they are obviously going to remain in your life because of the children, and it sometimes does your head in a bit.

He is coming round and taking the boys later, and I am meeting up with a man that I have been on a few dates with.
It almost feels like I'm doing something wrong, but I'm not!

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muma3 · 22/09/2007 10:18

to be honest i really should of said yes. my and dd2 dad get on great . it all depends on circumstance and maturity. dont think me and present ex will be so "friendly"

doublethelovedoublethekisses · 22/09/2007 10:25

my dp and his ex get on fine despite the fact that he's now in a new relationship and we have 2 children together... not sure how i would feel personally but just wanted to let you know that it can happen

muma3 · 22/09/2007 10:31

my exh has a new gf and she is really nice. we have been divorced 3 years split for just over 5y . dd2 doesnt call her mum and she is very respectful of me and i appreiciate that . i have a lot to do with his family(ex-mil is my mary poppins)and it has never caused a prob hth

lou33 · 22/09/2007 11:52

yes pc 8th october

i'm not exactly dancing on the ceiling about it

Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 22/09/2007 11:55

I bet you're not! How long has he been away now?

OP posts:
lou33 · 22/09/2007 11:55

it will be 14 or 15 months