Is it possible to remain on friendly terms with your ex, and move on with your life?

[Pinkchampagne]

Things have been pretty amicable between ex H & myself since our separation, which is good for the boys, so I would like things to stay as friendly as possible.

The thing is, I can't see this continuing if I move on with my life & meet someone else.
I think ex H would go mad, and the fact he is so close to my family doesn't help matters.

Do you think it is possible to remain on friendly terms, and get on with your life, or do things normally turn nasty?

I worry about the boys, and don't want to cause any further upset.

[zookeeper]

but Kimi this is the sort of arrangement I envisaged with my dp - can you imagine if your DH1 suddenly decided he was not going to see the children after all? I think you would be tempted to kill him. I am so angry with ex because he is not being at all reasonable.

Was it very hard at first? My problem is that I broke the realtionship up and he is angry. If both sides want out it must be easier

[zookeeper]

but Kimi this is the sort of arrangement I envisaged with my dp - can you imagine if your DH1 suddenly decided he was not going to see the children after all? I think you would be tempted to kill him. I am so angry with ex because he is not being at all reasonable.

Was it very hard at first? My problem is that I broke the realtionship up and he is angry. If both sides want out it must be easier

[zookeeper]

duh!

[kimi]

I really can't see any way that DH1 would ever not want to see his boys, however if he did ever go a bit funny I think I would have to sit and ask him why, and there had better be a good bloody reason.

It was hard to leave and it was me doing the leaving, I am still not sure if it was what HD1 wanted he said it was up to me and if I thought it was what I needed to be happy then I had to go try.

I have to say I would hate it with a passion if there was ever a day DH1 was not in my life.

[000Laura000]

In answer to the original question... I think, yes, it is possible to be on reasonable terms with your ex. But! it is very difficult.

Don't forget that now you have split up it is absolutely none of his business who you are seeing or what you are doing in your free time. (If you are lucky enough to get any).

It only becomes his business if the children meet him.

don't tell him!

Good luck

laura

[SSSandy2]

I think it will always be a bit tense but it can't be helped.

You need to get on with your life and you cannot NOT have a new man in your life just to avoid nastiness from the ex.

I don't think by the same token, he will let a new woman go by so as to keep things amicable.

[tetti]

Yes,I am pretty sure it is possible.
I am on friendly terms with my ex (felt like I had to be for the sake of our little girl).
We actually get on better now we're apart,and I hope that things remain this way,even when the day cones when one of us eventually finds a new partner (but I guess things may start to become a little bit more tricky then?)

[Pinkchampagne]

Thanks for all the replies to this question.

When we decided to separate, ex H said he would try to be a good ex husband to make up for not being the best while we were married, and after being forced to live together for nearly a year following the split, we just tried to make it as normal as possible for the boys.

Ex H remains very close to my family - infact he was staying with my parents until his house was finished, and goes out with my dad.
This, I guess, makes me feel that no-one else would ever be accepted, and I feel that ex H still holds a tiny bit of hope that all will mend itself in time.

I fear that things could take a turn for the worse once I move on a bit, and things could get really horrible.

It is good to hear of others more positive stories!