"Single mum" definition

[Rubyred24]

Hi can anyone please explain the difference. Are both mums in the scenarios single mums or is the first a co parent?

1. Lots of benefits or works ie no money issues / ex a high earlier with nice maintenance payments. The father has them 50/50 (all weekend / takes them on holiday) grandparents help out a lot.

2. On some benefits but misses out most. No family. No father. No support.

Is mum 1 being referred to as a single parent offensive to mum 2 or is that exactly what she is?

I should say NRP actually as of course the situation can work both ways.

One that isn’t in any kind of relationship with her children’s father is the definition of a single mum

PS @BumblebeeBum I don’t want to blow your mind or anything but I actually came into category 2 after my divorce.
What is is with people not being able to make a point without bringing others down on here?
I don’t think anything in my post suggested I was judging any of the 2 categories OP described.

@P1nkHeartLovesCake so even when remarried and cohabiting with another man al finances split - they are still classed as single?

They are both single parents. I kind of know what you mean but there are so many different circumstances.

Of the single parents I know:
One used a sperm donor, no partner
One has two dc by different fathers, one not involved, one very involved, no new partner, professional job
One has two dc, he married again but does see the dc regularly and pays decent maintenance
Myself, two dc, father barely sees the children and doesn’t contribute financially, can’t work as full time carer to disabled dc.

You just can’t compare can you?

Well Midnight IF she gets married again she would just be Mum not a single one....

OP competition of who’s worse off and single mum makes no sense. Your either a single mum (I.e a single person) or your not single

I'm a lone parent, I work a 40 hour week I qualify for UC top up I also have the single person council tax. DS father has no involvement whatsoever, DS doesn't see him and I receive no financial/emotional support.

I do however have my mum, she helps as and when she can as much as she can.

I honestly don't think you can call yourself a single parent of you live with a partner, because you are not single 🤔

They are both single parents.

I would say, that when I was cohabiting with my DP (now ex - not DCs dad) I was no longer a single parent but still had a lot of 'single parent issues' to deal with. Eg if the DC were sick it was still down to me to take time off work. Still had an ex to deal with. Still had to chase maintenance etc.

@buckfastattiffanys I’m not sure how pointing out that single mothers can earn enough to not need benefits is bringing anyone down.

Eg if the DC were sick it was still down to me to take time off work.

To be fair this often falls to women even if they live with their child's father

midnight star I agree, same goes for military spouses, they do the slog of the parenting and childcare but they are not single mums

Well that's true. But the father would still be legally entitled to parental leave if he should need it. My DP wasn't as he wasn't a father.

Single parent is a parent without a partner.

Because, @BumblebeeBum, not wanting to blow your mind is how you started that post, followed by an assumption that I thought single parents = on benefits and your criticism of that.

I just thought that’s what OP had described in her 2) example.

You thought the worst of me. It’s the tone. There’s no need. I read my post back and I’m not making that assumption at all. I was suggesting that 2) should get more help.

I think there’s a lot of needless snarking and jumping down people’s throats here.

Most dc of separated/single parents will have a father somewhere entitled to take parental leave if they are sick, some do it too, but the balance will always be off

I'm aware of that @midnightstar66 I was sharing my personal experience and opinion.

Yes but it's just demonstrating how everyone's situations are different, having an exp that does take time off of a child is sick wouldn't make the mum any less single - a parent is single if they look after their child and live as the only adult in the household

I'm a single mum. I'm not in a relationship and have DC with me 80% of the time. I don't think you are a single mum of you have a partner living with you. That's the only thing that stops you being a single mum.

First one: single parent
Second one: lone parent

1. Single parent
2. If the dad doesn't see the child at all - lone parent.

I'm a lone parent. DC hasn't seen his dad for about 4 years. I do have a boyfriend and even if he moved in, I'd still consider myself a lone parent - because he isn’t a parent to my DC.

Their both single parents but if i was parent number 2 ( which i was in the past ) if probably get annoyed at 1.

I was friends with 2 woman. I had zero support with my children, was just me. No family nearby to help and dad not on scene .
Friend 1 dad not on scene, but family live on same street and often have children for sleepovers, tea, holidays away, help out financially

Friend 2 dad on scene, takes kids 4 nights out of 7, helps financially, family close by who also help with childcare

I would frequently get annoyed listening to them moan about being single parents and how hard it was when they had so much help and I didn't! But we were all single parents we just had completely different situations

My daughter sees her dad 2 nights per week. I work so I'm not struggling financially (not rich either) but I'm still the resident parent and doing everything myself 5 days per week. I'm the one who does all the actual parenting too; medical appointments, anything to do with school, homework, childcare arrangements, basically all the life admin. I run the house on my own. Currently I'm working full time from home while trying to look after and homeschool a 7 year old.
Is my situation better than someone who is financially worse off and never gets a break? Yes undoubtedly. Am I still a single parent? Of course.

I split up with DS1's Dad when he was only a couple of months old, we moved in with my parents for 3 years - even though we lived with them, I still called myself a single parent. They were supportive but I was still parenting DS alone

@IchaneNameMgy This was the point I was unsuccessfully trying to make

No I'm not single. I am married. Husband a Sargent in the marines. Never home and when he is doesn't interact with us. But he is still in our lives. Doesn't give me money but pays the bills and birthday presents etc so I'm not comparing. It's just one of the women is my sister and the other my sister in law and although non of my business I wasn't sure who was the "single" one. I didn't think about relationships status to be fair I thought it meant single as one person doing it all.