"Single mum" definition

[Rubyred24]

Hi can anyone please explain the difference. Are both mums in the scenarios single mums or is the first a co parent?

1. Lots of benefits or works ie no money issues / ex a high earlier with nice maintenance payments. The father has them 50/50 (all weekend / takes them on holiday) grandparents help out a lot.

2. On some benefits but misses out most. No family. No father. No support.

Is mum 1 being referred to as a single parent offensive to mum 2 or is that exactly what she is?

Of course every situation is different and mum 1 might not have it all and prefer when they were a family until and mum 2 might be happier than mum 1.

I know these are opposites sides of the scale and lots more scenarios in between.

What's the point in deciding?

I don't understand the question a single parent is a single parent no matter how it haliens I became a single mum when dh passed away very suddenly..

I get more rest now than I ever did when I was married and looked like a couple.

Both are single parents. Same as if mum 1 had a child who was in hospital having their tonsils out and mum 2 had a child who was in hospital having chemo. They would both be mums of a child in hospital although mum 1 would be in a better situation than mum 2.

To me a single parent is someone who is single - ie not married or cohabiting - and a parent. Some of these will be co parents and some won’t. Not sure the terminology matters that much?

I’m a single parent - my DH died. When I think it’s necessary I do describe myself as a widowed parent so that there’s some understanding that I don’t have an ex who can look after the children for me, for example

I don’t understand why “lots of benefits” makes you a single mum or not. To me a single parent is just a parent who is single (not married or in a relationship). I’m a single mum. I don’t claim benefits because I have a job and am not eligible for any. My ex is involved but doesn’t live with us and is not 50/50.

The only time I am offended by single parent claims is when women who are not single claim they are single parents because their partners work long hours or work away.

I m closed to mum 2. I have no family. I m self employed. I don’t receive any benefit. I have a few friends but no helps with practical or moral supports when it comes children. I try not to think about it (no point) but just get on with life. It’s tough!

Ok so the situations are not relevant just whether you have a partner or not.

Surely a single parent is just a parent who isn’t in a co-habiting relationship?

I became a single parent when I spilt with the father of my children. Then 4 years later I met someone who became my boyfriend but I was still a single parent until he moved in with us two years later and then I didn’t consider myself to be a single parent anymore

The benefits of income are irrelevant.

If you live with a partner (whether they are your DCs parent or not) while raising your children, even if only 50% of the time, you are not a single parent.

If you live alone while raising your children, even if only 50% of the time, you are a single parent.

I can sort of see where you are coming from.

I'd say 1 is a single mum but 2 is a lone parent.

1 can ask ex for help and financial support. But prodominatly parents as a single entity.

2 has nobody is alone and therefore a lone parent, but for ease gets referred to as a single mum because that fits with societies ideology of what a single mum is.

Both are single parents.
I might sometimes refer to the second scenario as a lone parent? Just depends.

It really annoys me when people who are not single parents say, 'Oh but Loki you aren't really a single parent because your DS has a sleepover once a week'. Yes, one night a week. No financial or emotional support or anything else. Like there is an elite table of single parenthood?

Sorry, I have no doubt that lone parents have more difficulties that I don't but just wanted to let of steam in the only place I can!

The single parent Olympics really gets me.

I get you op. I am mum 2, no family help, no maintenance from ex, ex absent, I always refer to myself as a lone parent as I think it is different from someone who co parents with their ex or even has an involved ex. I’m a lone parent as I raise my children alone. I don’t call myself a single parent. And imo they are different.

How does 2) miss out on most benefits if they are all alone as some PP have described? Surely they should recieve themost support?

Both are single mums. Whether or not you get maintenance and whether or not Dad is involved is irrelevant.

I agree a single parent is a single parent. For the simple reason being there’s lots of different situations we would be here all day to list. Someone may pay for their child but have no input or vice versa. Mothers are still hold the bulk of parenting. Let’s be honest it comes down to your family support network too also.

Yeah, I'd agree with that. If when you have custody you're doing it solo you're a single mum regardless of the financial aspect.

The way I'd define it is a lone parent is the only parent in the situation no shared care or input from other parent, including being widowed.

Single parent has other parent involved but does most stuff alone, so no other parent living with them.

At the end of the day it doesn't really make a difference.

@Rubyred24

What about no benefits, no government support? Very limited physical parental based support. We are not all dependant on others. I’m mum 2 but financially independent. Mum 1 is still a single mum. She probably has to make decisions, plans alone. Can’t leave the house for shopping when kids in bed etc.

Are you a single mum?

Both single moms.

Both single mums

One of my friends lives with her mum and is financially supported by her, I would call her a single parent. Another friend is a widow and has no family support, I would call her a lone parent.

I’d call your second definition “lone parenting” myself. Lone ranger. High wire walker. Bit of a hero, Holding it all together solo. Admirable women, mostly.

Single parent just means “unpartnered parent”.

Oh X post with @SiaPR - agree completely.