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Original poster

Corona19/ not worried about getting it more about coping

29 replies

snowdaynoday · 09/03/2020 11:05

Obviously I do not want to get the virus at all, but is anyone else more worried about how they will cope sick with dc?...

I have two teens and a ds2. Whenever I'm sick I'm usually really bad for one day and then just struggle throughout the rest as I have to be mum.

Been separated from ds2 df for 3 months, he was never very good that's why I was only alone to be sick for 12-24 hours.

But he's not around to help ( have a nonmol), and my eldest ds df does the odd day of fun but wouldn't even dream of actually helping if they were sick.

So how are other lone parents coping with the idea of the virus?
I myself am not freaking out, just aware after trying to buy a pack of loo roll for the house and there wasn't any.

OP posts:
Twocatsandcounting · 09/03/2020 12:15

Hey there, I know that worry. I remember last year explaining to a bunch of mums in the playground this is why I always make sure I have the flu jab every year: I don’t have a backup to look after my DC if I get ill! I’m not sure they understood!
The idea of having to self isolate also adds to this. As you say - it’s the worry about being able to look after the DC while sick yourself or on lock down that is the biggest worry, or at least it is for those of us lucky enough to not have health conditions that mean covid 19 is a bigger risk to us.
So just this morning, after reading this post, I set up a WhatsApp group with the handful of other single mums in my DC’s class. I wanted to let them all know that I am here for them to call on if they need it, and already one has replied to say she is there for the group too. I’m pretty sure we’ll all want to support each other. Of course the other mums at school are great too, but it’s the other single mums who get it more immediately.
Any chance you could set something up like that with other single mums in your immediate area? In my wider area there is actually a single mums Facebook group which is awesome at helping each out - lovely stuff like a mum with a sick baby late on a Friday night with no calpol, so 10 minutes later multiple offers to take some round to her place. But I think for this self isolation stuff it might be more practical to have a group of understanding friends closer to home.
I hope you can sort something out for yourself OP, and thanks for bringing this up as it’s made me do something about it.

PumpkinP · 09/03/2020 12:18

I’m glad you posted this as I’m in the same boat. Lone parent to 4, dad absent. No one to have them if I get sick, no one to help with shopping (sister has openly said she
Wouldn’t be helping Hmm ) so I really don’t know how I will Cope if I do get it!

MerryDeath · 09/03/2020 12:26

i'm not a single parent but i am in sole charge for several days at a time and with a toddler and a baby that's what I'm dreading! won't want to call on anyone for help obviously. i had a weird sort of 12 hour flu thing a few weeks ago and it was a hellish day !

3NMe · 09/03/2020 12:30

Single parent to 3 here, all 3 in different schools. I did wonder what would happen if I'm ill. I have asthma which concerns me but if I'm ill who would look after the dc? No family nearby

Keeping my fingers crossed and antibacterial-ed!

Original poster
snowdaynoday · 09/03/2020 12:34

@Twocatsandcounting that's a really good idea. I may have a think about it.

My lo one has been sick for a week which means I've been sick too. As soon as he's unwell so am I.

I couldn't even buy a roll of toilet paper for my home because of all the other bulk buying and if feels as us lone parents or low income are in a bad position.

OP posts:
Original poster
snowdaynoday · 09/03/2020 12:40

Last year lo was so sick I had to take him to hospital, and I was really ill to but his df was in a bad mood with me so didn't come.

Later that night both ds and I were throwing up and I was Hallucinating. Ex wasn't home, when he eventually came home he helped for 12 hours and that's was it. Everything was still covered in sick, nothing done.
I was lucky that my eldest dc could look after themselves and help watch dc why I was crying over the toilet.

That night has haunted me ever since because of the hallucinations and not being about to help my ds.

Asking ex's to help is not going to happen at all, which is just so awful. I'm usually very independent but sickest is just unavoidable

OP posts:
ThisMustBeMyDream · 09/03/2020 12:41

Someone who is a single mum (as am I although I have a boyfriend now) posted on FB earlier that she really needed calpol and ibuprofren for her sick child. As I've been there many times, and I could.... I took her some, along with a few other necessities and some niceties. I think there are kind people out there who will do things for others. To me it was kind of like paying it forward.

Btw I had never met this woman. She was just someone who I had added for some reason many moons ago.

Original poster
snowdaynoday · 09/03/2020 12:50

@ThisMustBeMyDream that is really thoughtful and kind.

It's like a secret worry because mothers are forever acting as if they can handle everything so don't want to ask for help.

OP posts:
ThisMustBeMyDream · 09/03/2020 12:53

Absolutely. I did the same in the past.

I guess it shows though that it is okay to ask and no one will actually judge you.

Chucklecheeks01 · 09/03/2020 19:01

@MerryDeath i empathise with your situation but a few days at a time is not the same as a single parent.

ThisMustBeMyDream · 09/03/2020 20:41

@chucklecheeks01 ordinarily I would thoroughly agree with you, but in the case of illness where no one comes home to take over, it is at that point no different. Unless you have any other support from family.

Also, there are differing levels of single parenthood too. I was in one of the worst kinds. Ex didn't see toddler (with additional needs) and newborn and I had no family support at all. The first support I got was once my boyfriend met my kids when they were 5 and 2. And even that had to be built up.

BobTheDuvet · 10/03/2020 23:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MerryDeath · 11/03/2020 20:36

@Chucklecheeks01 didn't say it was! OBVIOUSLY it's not. just agreeing with OP in the aspect i relate to. morning to night as the only adult in the house can be shit even at full strength.

OhamIreally · 13/03/2020 13:08

I'm worried. I've been involved in our BCP at work and the advice we are giving staff regarding self isolation is to not leave the house - how can we not leave the house when we have to take our kids to school? It all seems a bit pie in the sky.
Anyway, I was in Tesco doing a spot of panic buying yesterday and randomly bought a torch and extra batteries so that made me feel better.

Original poster
snowdaynoday · 13/03/2020 14:37

@OhamIreally GrinGrinGrin
A torch and batteries

OP posts:
Original poster
snowdaynoday · 13/03/2020 14:47

I know it doesn't make sense, I went to parents evening yesterday, room full of people and children.
Greeting teachers with air handshakes but still sitting and touching the same chairs and tables and door handles.
Watched a teacher suck on a pen, the later hand it to someone to use.

But the school wouldn't change the date and have options evening next week, which we must go to.

I don't get how I'm meant to stay in the house - small two bed flat with 3 dc for two week, or how the dc are still supposed to go to school still while the doctors aren't taking any appointment. How am I meant to buy two weeks of food before payday or cope if we get sick.

It's all to much!

OP posts:
BobTheDuvet · 13/03/2020 14:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BobTheDuvet · 13/03/2020 14:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Nquartz · 13/03/2020 14:55

I have a friend who is a single parent to 3, if she needed anything & we could help I would literally do anything because I know how hard she has it. Hopefully you've got friends who would do the same Thanks

PumpkinP · 13/03/2020 16:28

If one person in the family has to self isolate then everyone in the house hold is suppose to, I definitely don’t have anyone that can help so I will be fucked.

megletthesecond · 13/03/2020 18:10

I'm actually shitting it now Sad. I don't have family nearby. Although I am pretty healthy so maybe it'll be ok.

I've done quite well when I've been at work, everyone is amused I use my big cardigan to open door handles and I make my own tea. But what if something has slipped through or the dc's bring it home? I made them shower when they got home from school to try and minimise anything coming in the house and I've wiped all the handles and main touching surfaces with bleach, which probably doesn't work on viruses anyway.

This is probably the time to do lots of gardening and binge watching tv.

OneMoreWish · 13/03/2020 21:44

I'm single parent to a 8 month old and a two year old. I get help from parents who are over 60.

Currently wondering how I'll cope and whether I need to start staying away from my parents now ( though will be difficult on my own) as dread passing anything to them.

Re the single parent club and call for calpol - how does Th at work? Because it's only me in house I couldn't leave it to go to another person's House to give them calpol....

My friends who are couples have started a babysitting circle - you mind our kid one night we will mind yours another night etc - normally one parent goes to someone else's house for them while they go to dinner/ out. Unfortunately I can't do this as I don't have a Partner to stay and look after my child while I mind another child in anothee house . So just curious how single mums could have group that does it- I might be missing something here!

Tessaraqt · 14/03/2020 00:59

Single parent to 3 kids under 6 here.

Sort the practical stuff first;
Have you got plenty of calpol and ibuprofen?
Have you got food the kids can feed themselves if you are sick? Loads of crisps, dry cereal, breadsticks. Yoghurts and cheese mash a good few weeks so pick some jo every week. Keep a fridge full of ice lollies. Grab some vitamin tablets. A couple of days of eating crap won't kill them.

If you're stuck in on your own with kids, make it bareable.
Buy three jars of Nutella so one day you can give them a jar and a spoon each as a treat
Buy a bubble bath each and a shaving foam so one day is foam in the bath day
Buy a load of jelly so one day is make a rainbow jelly day
Stock up on play doh and colouring pencils, and packs of cheap Poundland craft stuff
Follow "5 minute mum" on Instagram for 5 minute indoor kid games. Buy anything you need to now

It won't be fun, but it's manageable. Nothing is the end of the world - you run out of toilet paper? Cut up baby muslins. We'll get through it.

Tessaraqt · 14/03/2020 01:00

^god that was full of spelling errors because the baby is asleep on me, but you get the gist ha

megletthesecond · 14/03/2020 08:02

tess good ideads. I stocked up on vitamins this week.
And I never threw away the muslins from a decade ago as they still come in handy. They're used as emergency nose bleed and sicky cloths.

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