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Original poster

What was the first thing you did when your ex partner left / you got rid of them????

40 replies

almostmidnight · 03/09/2007 14:40

My first thing was to go out and treat myself to all brand new underwear including socks and throw away all the old stuff. Also got myself measured at a proper bra shop.

Other thing I did was turn our bedroom into my room. Got rid of his clothes and put away the teddies etc he had bought me. It's great having all my clothes in one wardrobe all to myself.

Did anyone do anything really naughty to their ex's things?????????

OP posts:
sheepgomeep · 03/09/2007 14:49

sold his stuff on ebay.. golf stuff etc

Also redecorated throughout

flightattendant · 03/09/2007 14:52

I breathed

Oh it was bliss. he never lived with us but there were things...his 'hunting' trophies (was I insane?) like the squirrel's tail on the mantlepiece (eeewwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!) which had moulted everywhere!

His crappy present to my Ds, which Ds had long forgotten...I kept a bag with some clippers and 2 books he had insisted I read to improve myself, in case he ever came asking for them, they went in the bin after he didn't turn up to see our new baby a few months later.

He is no longer welcome in my home

Alambil · 04/09/2007 10:53

I also breathed... then I enrolled into college, got another A level, did a degree and basically used my brain!!

He was abusive - dragged me through court and through all of it, I was the stronger person - not getting riled (well, not IN the court!) and not giving in to his demands

Sobernow · 04/09/2007 10:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

babywhiting · 04/09/2007 11:02

i re arranged all the house ,lost 3 stone got my independence back, had loads of fun with the kids, most of all found myself .
oh threw all his stuff out the window whilst police in garden and yes heres the funny bit he was (still is) a crossdresser so it was heels ,underwear wigs etc etc.!!!!

lmao

TheMoistWorldOfSeptimusQuench · 04/09/2007 11:08

Lost loads of weight, went on loads of dates, made the house in to my house (he had taken all his crap with him praise be), read in bed, ate what I wanted, when I wanted, danced around the living room to my music (instead of his prog f*ing rock) whilst drinking a whole bottle of wine to myself

Aaah, happy days ...

flightattendant · 04/09/2007 19:13

God another one into prog rock??? Is that some kind of warning sign they are a twat?!

PersonalClown · 04/09/2007 19:15

Chucked his stuff out, got blind drunk with friends and slept with a bloke I had been lusting after for weeks!

zmandaz · 04/09/2007 19:38

Worked out what I'm going to do with whatever divorce money I get. Joined a diet club as he told me that no-one else would be interested in me because I'm overweight (I've lost nearly 2 1/2 stone in 3 months and more to go!) and sold all the bits of his stuff he'd left behind. He took all of by belongings to the tip including stuff which I'd had for years and was keeping as they were of sentimental value so I reckon I deserved to make a bit of cash out of him!!!

TheMoistWorldOfSeptimusQuench · 04/09/2007 20:28

I know, flightattendant, should have known better after spotting "Hocus Pocus" by Focus in his record collection...

lou33 · 04/09/2007 20:35

chucked his stuff, made things more suited to my style

LittleBella · 04/09/2007 20:36

Got all the stuff out of the kitchen and did a great big spring clean while playing motown albums.

mistressmiggins · 04/09/2007 20:50

had my hair cut short
painted the kitchen in 2 nights
packed all his clothes into 2 bin liners & spread my clothes into 2 wardrobes

mocca · 05/09/2007 10:16

Oooh, lovely thread! Turned our bedroom into my bedroom and sanctuary, started clothes shopping for England (must cut back now but very cathartic) and best of all, my relationship with my young daughter is better than I ever could have imagined. Actually, best of all is that I'm finally really myself and don't have to contort myself into someone else because of him.

maltesers · 11/09/2007 09:51

chucked his best blazer jacket out of bedroon window in the rain, then bagged up his clothes walked into the pub where he was seeing a woman, dropped bag at his feet and tipped his pint all down his front....ooops!

muma3 · 23/09/2007 21:44

is it me or all of these things you guys have done , involves money??

any suggestions if lacking in that department??

coleyboy · 23/09/2007 21:51

Redecorated the bedroom into a lovely girly sanctuary.

Lost weight - I wasn't comfort eating anymore.

Went out clubbing.

Became myself again, and actually enjoyed being me and my new life.

Went to bed at whatever time I wanted to, with a cup of tea, a chocolate bar and a cat curled up on either side of me (he was allergic).

muma3 · 23/09/2007 22:02

and how long did it take you before you felt ok to do these things. i cant bear thinking about it right now

coleyboy · 23/09/2007 22:11

To be fair, things only really changed once I had got over the initial mental and emotional upset. Once I had reconciled everything in my head, I was ready to face the world again.

It may not seem like it now, but it will happen. Once you have got over the constantly feeling like shit stage, you then have the good day, bad day stage. Then one day you start to realise that the bad days get further and further apart, and you have more good days than bad days. Slowly, slowly the bad days start to disappear and you feel like yourself again, and you can't believe you got so earth shatteringly upset over and complete waste of space arsehole.

Be kind to yourself, and give yourself time xx

Blondilocks · 23/09/2007 22:12

I lost weight (felt sick for a week so didn't really feel like eating!), just went to work every day & pretended everything was fine then moaned all night on messenger to my mates!

Then the weekend after we split up I went to visit my mate from uni as he was going out before going travelling for 6 months & it turned out that a load of guys from his football team went out too! Anyway he made me eat Chinese (think he was pretty worried about me tbh), really looked after me, encouraged me to stay another night & took me out to a comedy club & made sure I had a fab time.

It's now almost a year later, getting on really well with my ex now (decided I couldn't be bothered with the not getting on thing) & seeing the friend who went travelling

Oh and since then I've bought loads of nice clothes & makeup too.

Blondilocks · 23/09/2007 22:13

I too felt so shit at the time, especially when it came round to XMAS, & the first time I met his new GF, but it does get better. You just need to day each day as it comes & try to concentrate on the positive things that happen.

yossa · 23/09/2007 22:17

changed the bloody locks

tetti · 23/09/2007 22:41

Well,since we split up I have lost 8 kilos (and fit into my old size 8 jeans again,jiiihah!),I eat like a horse,just stopped comfort eating like I had over the past couple of years.I got new make up,clothes (hey,I'm not telling anyone they're all from Primark,cheap and cheerful!:-),I have started to enjoy life again,and as I pretty much lost my identity during our relationship it's now great to be me again,and I feel soo much stronger.He is not doing to well (apparently drinking like a fish to get over our split,although he doesn't regret leaving),but lile one of his mates told him,I'm miles ahead of him,my head is sorted,his one's a mess!!

I honestly don't harbour any bad feelings towards him though,he gave me the most precious thing in my life,our daughter,adn I will always be on friendly terms with him for her sake.

Original poster
almostmidnight · 23/09/2007 23:04

Hey, I started this thread ages ago. Great to see some of the fun things you all got up to. I too have lost two stone since it all happened. Might not be in the size eight's yet tetti but down to the twelves. Also bought new clothes, make up, stilleto boots the other day and most of all hold my head up high. Arranging to go visit all my old friends and have wild weekends away (when ex has the kids). Talking dirty on line for fun (see Dating Sites for Single Parents thread). Am seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. His 22 year old pregnant slt is welcome to him. The Tsser tried it on again with me Friday and it was great to tell him where to get off as I am enjoying my new life even his family say he is still unhappy, well tough, because I am happy

OP posts:
muma3 · 24/09/2007 10:12

has anyone been left feeling like shit becasue you still love them . what i mean is has anyone split up with oh when you didnt want too?? not making sense am i. i still love him and he doesnt know what he wants so to me it is over. i wont wait around for him i need to sort my head out. how did you cope if in similiar circumstance??