What was the first thing you did when your ex partner left / you got rid of them????

[almostmidnight]

My first thing was to go out and treat myself to all brand new underwear including socks and throw away all the old stuff. Also got myself measured at a proper bra shop.

Other thing I did was turn our bedroom into my room. Got rid of his clothes and put away the teddies etc he had bought me. It's great having all my clothes in one wardrobe all to myself.

Did anyone do anything really naughty to their ex's things?????????

[almostmidnight]

Well done, Xavielli. Best thing is I have just gone down from a 34E to a 32E (I was a 40D according to M&S four months ago) so have obviously lost more weight so had to buy some more new bras for myself. Fortunately they were in the sales.

[Xavielli]

Also started wearing make up in the day. makes me look ok even if I dont feel it!

[Xavielli]

Exactly the same as you almostmidnight! Bra 'n' knicker shopping. Nowt like it for raising ones spirits!

[muma3]

soz wilted rose

[muma3]

oh wiltedorse you sound just like me at the minute, he is making me angrier by the day though which is funnily making things easier

[TheWiltedRose]

i refused to sleep for a week because the bed seemed to big and lonely 4 just me then i spent this weekend totally drunnk had a one night stand while my brother took my kids for me so i could sort my head out...

Cant wait til i get to the stage that a lot of your are at all i can do still is think of him all day and burst into tears when my ds1 asks "wheres daddy?"

The house is a state, the washings piled up, im a mess ive had to go bk on benefits and the kids are wondering why mummy keeps shouting at them all the time

On the bright side i had a haircut, brought some new clothes and am determined to sort the house out tomorrow...

[jellyjelly]

i changed the locks and moved the pictures onto a slant just so it was different. i then went and got lots of new furniture which is all mine and cant be taken away

[muma3]

allgonebellyup

its hard isnt it. it all boiled down me not feeling loved anymore and not feeling important to him. we argued endlessly and he cant cope with the rows even though he could of stopped them so easily. i took it for granted that he would come back but it seems he is happy now without me. (even though thats not what he tells me and his friends/my friends)

he tells me he needs time to think what he wants but to me i would live on a dessert island with no money or car etc aslong as it is just me and him
im so in love still but he just doesnt know what he wants and said it could take months to decided
well i said bye

[allgonebellyup]

Got all my hair cut off short.

New mobile contract phone.

New clothes.

Make more effort with my appearance. Dont know why though..

[allgonebellyup]

mama3 i spoke to you on another thread i think, i am in the same situation as you, i told dh to leave and now i regret it so much as i realise i still have v strong feelings for him.
but its too late and he has a new girlfriend and a baby on the way.

Am v too.

[muma3]

just ordered a stereo

[rosierooster]

I cried and wrote them a 300 page letter begging for them to change their mind and declaring life long love for them. Now I'm happier than I have ever been and think that he looked like the lead singer of the pogues and was a boring fuck that I should of binned years ago - proof that time is a great healer

[muma3]

i went out today and got a replacement phone as mobile broke. £100 and its pink

got a new winter coat and some combats for slouching around in. paid a few bills. i feel like im getting there and then emotion takes over.

[almostmidnight]

Oh Muma3 you will get there. I know it seems hard but four months down the line I can't believe where the time has gone. Just think of all the wonderful things you can do, places and friends you can go and see. Just be a woman again and have fun.

I hope one day I do meet a very nice man who loves me and both my girls and wants to take care of us but until that day I am just going to enjoy my life. We only get one shot at it. As a friend told me the other day, "we are a long time dead", so make the most of life.

Can't believe I am the same person who was posting just like you three months ago. You will get there I promise.

[tetti]

I didn't want us to split up,and I suggested going to Relate in a bid to sort things out,but he wasn't having any of it.
So,I just thought to myself,right,I can sit and pine for him and waste my time (as his mind was ´firmly made up nothing I would do or say would change his mind),or I could just get on with my life.
I never begged him to stay or anything,wouldn't give hime the satisfaction.
Showing him I was strong was the best thing that I could do.

It was REALLY hard,but now almost 2 months on,I feel ok.I do not pine for him anymore,and I have realised that our relationship was far from perfect.
In fact,I'm doing better now than he is,he's all over the place(drinking etc,going out every night) whereas my head's more sorted.
Don't think he expected me to cope this well!

[muma3]

has anyone been left feeling like shit becasue you still love them . what i mean is has anyone split up with oh when you didnt want too?? not making sense am i. i still love him and he doesnt know what he wants so to me it is over. i wont wait around for him i need to sort my head out. how did you cope if in similiar circumstance??

[almostmidnight]

Hey, I started this thread ages ago. Great to see some of the fun things you all got up to. I too have lost two stone since it all happened. Might not be in the size eight's yet tetti but down to the twelves. Also bought new clothes, make up, stilleto boots the other day and most of all hold my head up high. Arranging to go visit all my old friends and have wild weekends away (when ex has the kids). Talking dirty on line for fun (see Dating Sites for Single Parents thread). Am seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. His 22 year old pregnant slt is welcome to him. The Tsser tried it on again with me Friday and it was great to tell him where to get off as I am enjoying my new life even his family say he is still unhappy, well tough, because I am happy

[tetti]

Well,since we split up I have lost 8 kilos (and fit into my old size 8 jeans again,jiiihah!),I eat like a horse,just stopped comfort eating like I had over the past couple of years.I got new make up,clothes (hey,I'm not telling anyone they're all from Primark,cheap and cheerful!:-),I have started to enjoy life again,and as I pretty much lost my identity during our relationship it's now great to be me again,and I feel soo much stronger.He is not doing to well (apparently drinking like a fish to get over our split,although he doesn't regret leaving),but lile one of his mates told him,I'm miles ahead of him,my head is sorted,his one's a mess!!

I honestly don't harbour any bad feelings towards him though,he gave me the most precious thing in my life,our daughter,adn I will always be on friendly terms with him for her sake.

[yossa]

changed the bloody locks

[Blondilocks]

I too felt so shit at the time, especially when it came round to XMAS, & the first time I met his new GF, but it does get better. You just need to day each day as it comes & try to concentrate on the positive things that happen.

[Blondilocks]

I lost weight (felt sick for a week so didn't really feel like eating!), just went to work every day & pretended everything was fine then moaned all night on messenger to my mates!

Then the weekend after we split up I went to visit my mate from uni as he was going out before going travelling for 6 months & it turned out that a load of guys from his football team went out too! Anyway he made me eat Chinese (think he was pretty worried about me tbh), really looked after me, encouraged me to stay another night & took me out to a comedy club & made sure I had a fab time.

It's now almost a year later, getting on really well with my ex now (decided I couldn't be bothered with the not getting on thing) & seeing the friend who went travelling

Oh and since then I've bought loads of nice clothes & makeup too.

[coleyboy]

To be fair, things only really changed once I had got over the initial mental and emotional upset. Once I had reconciled everything in my head, I was ready to face the world again.

It may not seem like it now, but it will happen. Once you have got over the constantly feeling like shit stage, you then have the good day, bad day stage. Then one day you start to realise that the bad days get further and further apart, and you have more good days than bad days. Slowly, slowly the bad days start to disappear and you feel like yourself again, and you can't believe you got so earth shatteringly upset over and complete waste of space arsehole.

Be kind to yourself, and give yourself time xx

[muma3]

and how long did it take you before you felt ok to do these things. i cant bear thinking about it right now

[coleyboy]

Redecorated the bedroom into a lovely girly sanctuary.

Lost weight - I wasn't comfort eating anymore.

Went out clubbing.

Became myself again, and actually enjoyed being me and my new life.

Went to bed at whatever time I wanted to, with a cup of tea, a chocolate bar and a cat curled up on either side of me (he was allergic).

[muma3]

is it me or all of these things you guys have done , involves money??

any suggestions if lacking in that department??