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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Lonely, does anyone fancy a chat?

82 replies

dayowl · 08/02/2020 02:18

hiya, single mum here. I’ve noticed theres a few places on mumsnet for just a general chat and i wondered if anyone would like one in the lone parents section. It would be nice to make friends with some other single parents and be able to check in with everyone and have people to offload onto.

OP posts:
AlCalavicci · 08/02/2020 02:27

I am not a parent but I thought I'd give you a bump as there must be more out there that would like to chat

PatricksRum · 08/02/2020 02:29

Hey OP Smile

Imtootired · 08/02/2020 02:39

This sounds like a nice idea. How old is your child/children? I have a ten week old and a ten year old. Just bought a floor steam cleaner from Aldi yesterday to get ready for the crawling baby stage again after so long. I’ve never used one before so I’m excited to try it out. My mums coming over to help with the baby in case he gets cranky and then we’re getting some lunch. What’s everyone else doing this weekend?

Rosehip345 · 08/02/2020 03:12

Hello am I allowed in?! Not a single parent but my husband is away constantly so it can get pretty lonely just me and the kids.
I have a 6,3,2 and currently pregnant with no4.
Tomorrow for us involves two lots of ballet runs and a party.
I love a steam cleaner! They’re amazing! We used to live in a house with all laminate floors and it was a definite must have.

Bouledeneige · 08/02/2020 03:43

Hiya! I'm here too. Cant sleep - divorcee for many years. Recovering from an operation and I've been quite emotional tonight. My DD19 came down from uni to support me and was great for the first two days but since then has been out or on her phone all the time. My DS17 has barely said a word to me. DD announced she is going back to uni tomorrow and I'm now really upset. I have another week off work with the prospect of no help and no one to talk to!

Sorry I have no experience of steam cleaners!

Didshereally · 08/02/2020 04:39

Hi single mum here. Great idea! My three are pre teen and teenagers, their dad disappeared mostly after divorce and I'd been a married single mother before then as like other PP my XH was away constantly. It is very lonely because there's no adult to talk to and mull over with the challenges of children (I have plenty of friends but you don't want to bore them with minutae of DCs!)

How has your week been OP ? Any high points or challenges?

unicornsarereal72 · 08/02/2020 05:08

I'm in. Single parent to two. But I don't have a steam mop.

I'm awake wondering if the children's father is going to cancel his weekend yet again.

@Bouledeneige wishing you a speedy recovery. Hope you have everything you need practically. I know emotionally you must feel let down. Have you got anyone who would pop in for a cuppa for some company?

I'm out for lunch tomorrow with a friend. Assuming the children are with their dad. Fingers crossed

vampirethriller · 08/02/2020 05:15

MorningSmile I'm single mum to 14 mo daughter. We're awake because 4.30 is the new time to have a cuddle and not go back to sleep....
I don't have a steam mop sadly. I do have a Jack Russell though, who is great at food debris removal.
My ex has never seen his daughter, he left while I was pregnant, even though we'd been trying for a long time and together 6 years, he decided he'd changed his mind and couldn't do it.
Hope you feel better @Bouledeneige

Maddogcow · 08/02/2020 05:34

Single parent here too. Have my three with me this weekend (all primary school age).

Struggling with depression and stress re work. Low level bullying and I feel so alone as the hours there are long (and no family here) and I have been trying to find other work for a long time with no success.

To those of you that WAFH, do you ever feel like you work harder/ longer ours to overcompensate for being lone parent. Eg I never feel I can ask for time off for school things or even to leave early and it’s very tough when DCs are ill etc.

Aquarius1619 · 08/02/2020 05:36

Hey!
Single mum to a 10month old DD here. Been awake since 4am as she tends to wake up at this time full of energy bless her, she’s just dropped off to sleep now but I’m wide awake!
I’m working today, just started a new job after MAT leave, I feel a bit unsettled there at the moment, but I’m hoping it’ll get better with time! Are you doing anything fun over the weekend?

Rosehip345 · 08/02/2020 09:11

@Maddogcow what does WAFH mean?
@Bouledeneige hope you’re ok

sittingonacornflake · 08/02/2020 09:27

Great idea OP! Single parent of a very almost 2 year old and the sad grieving widow of a broken steam mop. Don't get too attached ladies!!!

Imtootired · 08/02/2020 09:42

Hi @rosehip345 you must be busy with your little ones!
@Bouledeneige sounds like a hard time. Everyone is very addicted to phones these days, people sometimes don’t even notice
how rude they’re being. I do it to my mum sometimes without realising.
@unicornsarereal72 I hope your kids dad doesn’t let you down. It’s so hard to plan and have a social life when they’re unreliable.
@vampirethriller and @Aquarius1619 I’m not looking forward to when my baby wants to get up and play in the early hours. They’re so cute when they’re smiley and playful it’s hard not to laugh yourself and you end up encouraging them though haha. @Didshereally yes it can be really lonely in some ways. I’m starting a mum’s group soon but I’d also like to find a single mums group in the area to hopefully support and encourage each other.
Has anyone ever joined a single parents meet up group or anything? I did a few years ago, my son and I went away for the weekend. It was pretty fun but didn’t really stay in touch with anyone and I think the group finished because people didn’t want to organise and pay contributions.
@Maddogcow I hope you start to feel better. I know what you mean about being self conscious and not wanting to cause issues at work. Do you think they would actually have a problem if you need a day or half day off for your kids? My manager was usually pretty nice if I wanted to come in an hour late to watch an assembly or something but some you’d be nervous even asking. I think if you ask in a polite, confident way they won’t think badly of you.
I tried the steam mop! It’s pretty good. Will definitely need to vacuum first otherwise it’s not going to do a great job but seems good. It’s just a hassle getting the vacuum out and it sometimes wakes my baby. Also with the steam mop it’s good that it doesn’t use chemicals but I miss that “clean” smell. I have some nice eucalyptus cleaner I wonder if I should splash a bit of that and some water on the floor before using the steam mop? I don’t know.

Wanteddownunder · 08/02/2020 10:49

Hi op, good idea. I’m a lone parent after my dc dad died.
Life is crap and lonely.
I can cope with most things but being in charge of every bloody decision is hard work.

dayowl · 08/02/2020 10:51

oh wow I didn’t think this would take off! I’m a single mum to 3 DC aged 4,3 and 1. They only have supervised visits with their DF so I never get a break!.

tired I love a steam cleaner! How much did it cost?. I think you could get away with splashing the cleaner on the floor.

rose of course you’re allowed here! Welcome.

boule I’m so sorry sweet, do you have everything that you need? If you don’t is there someone who could do a quick run to the supermarket to help you stock up.

didshe bless you, you are right, the friends that I do have I don’t want to talk about single parenthood with. So this thread will hopefully be a nice escape for you all!. I’ve had a nice week so far, DC’s dad has decided that he can’t see them today. He only sees them for a couple of hours a week and can’t be bothered to make that!

unicorns I’m keeping my fingers crossed that he doesn’t let you down🤞🏻

vampire My LO’s are always up at the crack of dawn and in with me for a cuddle. They have a stair gate outside their room and every night I’m awoken by a little one standing their shouting for me, and then waking up their siblings.

mad I’m so sorry to hear that, have you been to your GP about it?. I’m currently on citalopram and that’s helped me loads. I can’t help on the work front I’m a SAHM.

aquarius oh good luck honeyFlowers please come back and tell us how it went.

cornflake I’m sorry for the loss of your steam mopGrin

I am just in the car (not driving) on the way back from DS’s football, he did so well bless him. Then I think we will go to the park, or soft play if I’m feeling nice, so they can blow off some steam. Hope everyone’s having a lovely Saturday.

OP posts:
dayowl · 08/02/2020 10:53

Oh sorry wanted I cross posted!, I’m sorry to hear about your lossFlowers. I agree, it’s so hard being the one in charge. I really struggle with leaving the house because it’s so scary that I have to be the one who remembers to turn everything off and lock up and keep the keys and the wallet safe.

OP posts:
hunz · 08/02/2020 11:22

Also a single mum here to a 2year old and a 3 year old. My partner died almost a year ago now and we're starting to get to grips with family life again! I don't have a steam mop, but I have a spray mop does that count?😂

Imtootired · 08/02/2020 11:38

@Wanteddownunder and @hunz I’m sorry you both had to go through that.
@dayowl wow you must have a nice busy house with your little ones. Do the 3 and 4 year olds get in well with each other? The steam mop was 40 aud so I guess roughly 20 pounds. Aldi is definitely cheaper than other brands and at least it’s got a guarantee.
Is the spray mop good @hunz?
I’m trying to get keep my house clean but it’s so hard. I need to get my son into good habits and get him to help more. I know it’ll be good for him in the long run but kids can be so lazy. Now I’m just trying to settle my bubba and watching when they see us on Netflix. It’s very sad.

Imtootired · 08/02/2020 11:40

Haha @sittingonacornflake now I’m worried! What happened to yours?
How’s everyone’s days going?

dayowl · 08/02/2020 11:42

I’m so sorry you went through that hunz Flowers your spray mop definitely countsGrin

tired it’s very busyGrin, they all share a room too so that’s very busy. They get on okay, sometimes they’re the best mates but a lot of time they get on each other’s nerves. There’s been quite a few fights😂. That’s a great deal! I love Aldi

OP posts:
unicornsarereal72 · 08/02/2020 11:44

@dayowl Get you name checking everyone. I'm impressed.

Kids father was a no show. I was expecting it to be honest. My mum has stepped in so I'm off out for lunch.

What do you clean with a steam mop? I have carpets. Do I need one.

vampirethriller · 08/02/2020 11:59

We've just had a nap. She's got a tooth coming through so it's swinging between me getting yelled at and then her wanting cuddles. No money til Thursday so weekends are looonnggg

Bouledeneige · 08/02/2020 12:10

I had two friends pop by yesterday - one in the morning and one came and cooked me supper. It was very nice to have their kindness and support. I have no plans over the weekend, but a friend is coming by on Monday. Im in an emotional state post op recovery and just feeling sorry for yourself. MY DD is up and came in for a chat, she's now off to meet a friend, I will see her later before she goes off.

I'm very sorry to hear those of you who lost partners - thats very sad. I split from mine 12 years or more ago so I'm used to being on my own and good at it. I'm a sociable busy person so I just get going - its not being able to get out and about that bothers me - and not having someone to lean on when times are tough. But days will pass and before I know it I will be moaning about going back to work!

hunz · 08/02/2020 12:16

@Imtootired it find it good, I mop properly once a week and use the spray mop daily for spills etc as you can wash the pads and I'm lazy and hate mopping 😳😂

I'm trying to get on top of the housework we have visitors all weekend as our little boy turns 2 on Monday 😫

Imtootired · 08/02/2020 12:48

Aww @dayowl I bet they’re really cute together. I’m sure it comes with it’s challenges too.
@hunz I hate cleaning too 😭 I feel so good when the house is nice and clean but it only takes a few busy days to get in a state then it’s next to impossible to get on top of it again. It’s easy just to give up. What are you doing for your son’s birthday? Are you having a cake?