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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

I am scared shitless

261 replies

Forestfly · 01/10/2004 21:23

Don't even know why im posting this, can't talk about it, but for anyone that knows whats going on wish me luck. It is starting to really make me worry and putting me in a bit of a mood. I would really like my fear to go. Sorry. Pointless thread. Isn't mn weird, i thought i was leaving heavy emotional posts

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

fairyfly · 06/10/2004 10:02

For the last couple of months i knew i couldn't think about it as it would ruin my summer. Now it is iminent all of a sudden i have become snappy and tearful. I really don't want to stand up there and talk about it all. The weirdest feeling is that part of me thinks i am making it up, if that makes any sense ( i am not of course) it is all just surreal. I also feel really guilty and stupid.
While writing this court has just rang and they forgot to tell me that i will be not appearing, but through a video link.

anorak · 06/10/2004 10:05

The guilt is low self-esteem, and is it any wonder after the reaction you got from your mother? If that is the way she has handled your appeals for support all through your life you are bound to feel guilty when in fact you are the wronged party.

Be assured, you did nothing wrong. Who committed a crime here? Not you.

I hope that news about the video link helps to make you feel less stressed.

krocket · 06/10/2004 10:09

FF, nothing really useful to add (hope ggg's post has helped you). BUt just to say that I'm thinking of you. YOu're doing the right thing, you're bound to feel confused but you're the one telling the truth and he is in the wrong, try to hold on to that at all times.

fairyfly · 06/10/2004 10:15

Thanks

libb · 06/10/2004 10:24

FF, just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you and sending you positive vibes - I think you'll be okay, you are made of strong stuff.

I work for the Courts (not yours obviously) and know that there will be some wonderful people there who will take care of you and guide you through it all.

I am very clumsy with my words so will stick to a HE-UGE virtual hug for now. I will e-mail you later and if you want to bend an ear . . . .xxxxx

fairyfly · 06/10/2004 10:32

Thanks

essbee · 08/10/2004 01:25

Message withdrawn

leglebegle · 08/10/2004 13:12

FF, I'm told by someone who really knows about this sort of thing, that you should not give evidence through the video link. you should speak to the cps/court and tell them you want to do it behind a screen. apparently it has much more impact on the jury. i know i have to be careful how much i say but i had to let you know that.

sis · 08/10/2004 16:28

Forestfly, I remember reading about it a couple of days after it had happened and really feeling for you. I can't begin to know what you must be going through but my thoughts are with and I am proud to virtually know someone as strong as you have been in dealing with this and giving evidence. All my best wishes are with you and your family.

MTS · 08/10/2004 16:32

hello ff, don't know how i missed this. have you had the chance to suss out the court/watch any cases yet. i have heard similar to leglebegle about video evidence; that people are so used to watching nasty stuff on the telly/video that a video appearance can make less of an impact.

fairyfly · 12/10/2004 09:05

Ive not had a chance to look at court as they cancelled it. Now my children are ill so i doubt i will. It has confused me asking not to use a video screen as it is what the police have set up and i just feel like getting it over with and doing what they say. Will have a think.
Trying to keep busy this week but stuck in a bit now, stopped sleeping and probably getting things a little out of perspective. God knows really. Thanks for your advice on what to do.

fairyfly · 12/10/2004 10:08

Part of me is now thinking i should insist i go into court. I really don't like the thought of his friends or family knowing what i look like and me not ever seeing them. But i really don't want to go into court. I'll be amased if i turn up at this rate, i am dreading every moment.

JanH · 12/10/2004 10:10

What about a screen - so that only the jury could see you? Can they do that? Or would a screen only shield you from him? Is there someone you can ask?

fairyfly · 12/10/2004 10:16

I don't know, don't want to speak to the court today, they have all been pretty useless if im honest. They don't seem to know anything themselves. Im getting upset with my family now aswell, you think one of them would have wanted to be there for me. Oh fuck i need to just hide for a week until its over, im doing my head in.

wobblyknicks · 12/10/2004 10:20

Sorry I missed this too ff. Really sorry your family aren't supporting you - could you be really in their face and 'demand' that they give you a bit of support, its the least you deserve. Either way, you've got tonnes of virtual support and you can gurantee loads of us will be thinking about you the whole time you're going through it.

fairyfly · 12/10/2004 10:30

It wouldn't be support, it would be helping everyone else cope with my mental behaviour and the situations i put them in. Thanks for thinking of me though, i will remember that.

wobblyknicks · 12/10/2004 10:33

Hope you do ff, I know it can make you feel like you're totally alone but you can always come on MN for some support before and after (the court might object if you try and do it during!)

fairyfly · 12/10/2004 10:55

Just rang victim support, the lady trained to deal with my kind of case is away looking after her dying mother so is unavailible.

spacemonkey · 12/10/2004 10:56

have you got someone to go to court with you on the day ff?

littlemissbossy · 12/10/2004 10:58

oh fairyfly, isn't there anyone else at VS who can help?? or what have the police been like? are you in contact with a liaison officer or somebody like that? couldn't they help? sorry, don't know what else to suggest

fairyfly · 12/10/2004 11:04

I have two friends who are witnesses, wont be with them but they are going. They are worried though.

spacemonkey · 12/10/2004 11:07

Blimey I think you're amazing coping with all this ff. I don't know when your court date is but hope it's soon so you can put this all behind you, what a bloody nightmare. How is your little boy today, is he feeling any better?

fairyfly · 12/10/2004 11:08

Liaison officers have messed me around all week, they have never used a video screen before, cancelled my appointment, then another person rang up to see where i was. The communication has been shocking.
The police stopped ringing once they had there case and don't keep me informed about anything.
No one else is availible from witness support as they are volunteers and she was the only one trained in case of this nature.

spacemonkey · 12/10/2004 11:09

are there any national support helplines/organisations who can help as the local ones sound so hopeless?

fairyfly · 12/10/2004 11:14

All nationals put you on to local ones. I suppose they all cant do much anyway, i don't know what i want tbh, it to be over

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