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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

I am scared shitless

261 replies

Forestfly · 01/10/2004 21:23

Don't even know why im posting this, can't talk about it, but for anyone that knows whats going on wish me luck. It is starting to really make me worry and putting me in a bit of a mood. I would really like my fear to go. Sorry. Pointless thread. Isn't mn weird, i thought i was leaving heavy emotional posts

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Original poster

Forestfly · 01/10/2004 22:44

I don't want justice, i find it a ridiculous concept, just want to feel safe

OP posts:

Heathcliffscathy · 01/10/2004 22:44

i know what you mean ff, but can't justice be you feeling safe?

jamiesam · 01/10/2004 22:47

Think you're really brave. Yes, you're doing the right thing. Hope the court case goes well and that you feel safe afterwards, as you wish.

Original poster

Forestfly · 01/10/2004 22:50

To be honest now i can talk about it i don't really see a safe future ( as dramatic as it sounds) either he gets let off and he is being charged with quite a lot, or he goes to prison and wants to kill me

OP posts:

littlemissbossy · 01/10/2004 22:53

jesus ff, he hasn't threatened you has he? or am I just getting the wrong end of the stick??

Original poster

Forestfly · 01/10/2004 23:00

he is just a neighbour, in a very small place. I see him, his mates a hard, i would like to not live next to him, if that makes sense. A lot of it is probably my paranoia, but i know i am messing with a scarey group of people

OP posts:

littlemissbossy · 01/10/2004 23:07

I know it's not really the answer ff, but have you thought about moving?

Original poster

Forestfly · 01/10/2004 23:17

i have lmb. infact i was going to, it was my reflex to do that. Then i thought i need time and i will not put myself or my kids through a major upheaval, i am laying the foundations to move. Moving quickly would be messy. I will move if court is bad though

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unicorn · 01/10/2004 23:42

god ff, you don't need this sh*t.. noone does.
Get through the court business, but look to get out of there. Or else you will always live with reminders etc.

I know it is easy to dole out advice here, but I think we all want the best for each other...(of course I don't know any of what you have gone through) but all I would say is You are fanbloodytastic to have taken it to Court (as you should)... you will give many other women lots of
support by doing what you have done (even if you may not feel it now)

good on you gal!

nightowl · 02/10/2004 00:00

know how it is to be living in a place where you are scared of your neighbours...all the best ff...i hope it turns out well for you. all my love xx

littlemissbossy · 02/10/2004 00:04

hi again ff, don't know if you're still online, sorry had to go off for a while (child with a headache) - yeh, you're probably right to wait and see what happens with the court case - is this going to be quite soon?

Original poster

Forestfly · 02/10/2004 00:24

Yes it is, hence the offloading on mn, its in two weeks, i have been forgetting it is happening. Now i am self bloody absorbed with it, i have told everyone no more fun i am going to go mad

OP posts:

littlemissbossy · 02/10/2004 00:26

no sweetie, you're going to go mad, it will be soooo hard, but you will get through it

Original poster

Forestfly · 02/10/2004 00:50

Thas what i think everyday, i am a bloody lucky girl, i am so so happy with my luck in lfe, i know the nicest kindest people, but.. this is making me cry

OP posts:

nightowl · 02/10/2004 00:58

Original poster

Forestfly · 02/10/2004 01:08

do you think anyone has been to court on mn for this, love to know what it was like, i keep having dreams of being taken down for contempt of something or other, all beyond me

OP posts:

ScummyMummy · 02/10/2004 01:26

hope you're ok ff. love you.

nightowl · 02/10/2004 01:27

usually the fear of something is a lot worse than the reality if thats any help at all...probably not

unicorn · 02/10/2004 01:27

well given that WE don't know who YOU are in RL,where you live, and any of the details I don't really think this can be held in contempt of court....
so stop fretting about that bit, and just talk about YOU... and how you are feeling etc.

wishing you lots of good vibes...

AussieSim · 02/10/2004 05:16

I've been to court on a domestic violence thing several years ago. I had convinced the x to plead guilty - because he was - but also so I didn't have to take the stand which I was v scared to do. What struck me on the day was the label "Victim" which I just couldn't relate to and being put in a room with all the other "Victims" so that we didn't have to sit in the hall way with all the bastards. It turned out that the x had been done for a pub fight years before and so the judge was pretty unimpressed by his good character references, but at the same time went easier on the sentence because I had fought back. He got a 2year good behaviour bond and a AUD2K fine. All in all I was pretty unimpressed by the court system. I wish that I had asked for more support from friends and family at the time as I went through the whole thing on my own.

So try to find out exactly what will happen on the day and make sure you ask for help and support and don't try to tough it out on your own. It would be good if you could get an idea of the kind of sentence that is likely in the circumstances, so it doesn't come as a shock. If I had my time again I would get counselling right away, as it was I suffered post traumatic shock and exercised some poor judgement over the next few months before finally getting counselling. HTH

littlemissbossy · 02/10/2004 08:24

Morning ff, just catching up with your thread this morning - sorry had to abandon you last night - too much wine!!
Have you had any contact with Victim Support? they can help before and during the court process and will be able to answer all those "what's it really like in court" questions you're bound to have. Their website is www.victimsupport.org.uk
HTH lmbx

Papillon · 02/10/2004 08:33

Thinking of you FF

Take care and all the best with releasing your fear. xxx

Original poster

Forestfly · 02/10/2004 14:27

Thanks, i had too much beer, hence the offload.
Will look on the website lmb.

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edam · 02/10/2004 14:39

FF, FWIW I am really grateful that you took this to the police. My sister was attacked by a man who got into her bed. I'm glad you are helping to stop one of the bastards and I really do hope the court case goes well for you.

Original poster

Forestfly · 02/10/2004 14:46

its worth a lot edam thanks. Aussiesim, i hope you are over it all now and i appreciate all the posts of support, cheers lovely people. Now i have to stop maudling and get to the gym

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