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Original poster

I am scared shitless

261 replies

Forestfly · 01/10/2004 21:23

Don't even know why im posting this, can't talk about it, but for anyone that knows whats going on wish me luck. It is starting to really make me worry and putting me in a bit of a mood. I would really like my fear to go. Sorry. Pointless thread. Isn't mn weird, i thought i was leaving heavy emotional posts

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essbee · 03/10/2004 12:58

Message withdrawn

edam · 03/10/2004 13:27

Oh, relieved if my message was helpful in any way. Sadly police didn't make much effort to catch my sister's attacker, once they'd discovered fingerprints not on file and not her ex-boyfriends'. So good to see someone is being held to account for this sort of behaviour, IYSWIM.

Original poster
Forestfly · 03/10/2004 13:52

Thanks so much edam, things like that spur me on a bit, i wonder why the hell i am doing it sometimes. Sorry your sister had such an awful time.

OP posts:
edam · 03/10/2004 15:14

Thanks FF, don't mean to lay any burdens on you, just good to see one of these sorry excuses for a human being is being held to account. Sister's doing OK now, still on ads and seeing a therapist though. Not an experience I'd wish on my worst enemy.

Original poster
Forestfly · 03/10/2004 15:25

I was extremely lucky indeed, i hope she carries on moving forward.

OP posts:
Marina · 04/10/2004 09:29

FF, I am so sorry to hear of this. Wishing you strength and resolve for the days ahead, you are doing the right thing in pursuing the case. Fingers and toes crossed and supportive vibes from here, you really don't need this too. Hugs.

sykes · 04/10/2004 14:47

FF, I'm back and will call you either later tonight/tomorrow - out a bit this evening. Sorry didn't call over w/end - had my sister and her children here. I am so sorry it's so frightening and you are being incredibly brave. As mentioned I'll come up on the Wednesday evening???

fairyfly · 04/10/2004 18:46

Don't worry Sykes i didn't even know when you were back. Hope you had a great time. Looking forward to seeing you.

NomDePlume · 04/10/2004 19:00

Oh, I had no idea FF. I missed your orignial thread. Huge hugs, it must be very daunting for you.

Kayleigh · 04/10/2004 19:47

FF, just posting to let you know am thinking of you. Good luck honey.

leglebegle · 04/10/2004 20:23

Can I help at all ? I am a criminal lawyer and can answer any questions about court that you need answered. Also, how the hell is he on bail ? He must have a condition to not speak/contact you. Just ask if you need any advice otherwise all the best x

fairyfly · 04/10/2004 21:04

Thanks a lot ndp and Keyl.
Legs, he is not allowed anywhere near me as part of his bail, 200 metres i think. Do you think i am ok asking you stuff here? You know better than me if i am being silly discussing it online, it makes me feel a tad uneasy. Thankyou so so much for posting i really appreciate it!

fairyfly · 04/10/2004 21:11

Sorry for calling you legs, i sound like a dodgy bloke in a pub

leglebegle · 05/10/2004 13:17

I asked my husband who is a barrister about you posting here and whether its okay for me to give you advice and he said the problem is if anyone found out, when you are giving your evidence they could say you had been 'coached'. He said its not worth risking as it would undermine your case but that he would tell me tonight of 2 organisations which give advice to witnesses (and are allowed to) who you could contact who will give you loads of help re:court procedure and what to expect and I will forward those details to you tonight when I have them. No-one can stop me giving emotional advice though ! If he contacts you in any way shape or form, even just a bad look, tell the police immediately. His bail will be revoked. Keep a log of any threats etc. If I was you, I would be tempted if you get the chance to go to court and watch what goes on there. There are public galleries which you can sit in and you will be so much less nervous on the day. I tell all my clients to do that and they say it helps. I will post the details when I have them later xxx

leglebegle · 05/10/2004 13:19

Obviously I mean to watch a different case as you aren't allowed to see the trial you are giving evidence in until you have given your evidence. Sorry if you totally knew that, I just didn't want to confuse you x

fairyfly · 05/10/2004 13:36

Didn't know i could see it after giving evidence, that is interesting, not that i want to. Thanks again for your help, i have made an appointment now to go and look round and look in on another case too.

leglebegle · 05/10/2004 13:53

You've got me wondering now. I know witnesses can sit in once they have given evidence but I wonder if its different for complainants? I don't think it is, unless the court said it would put the defendant off giving his evidence, but then he gets to sit there when you give yours so I don't see how them can argue that. Sorry I'm not a 100 percent, its because I am a defence lawyer and don't think about it usually from the perspective of the prosecution. My DH does both though so I will check tonight and confirm that. Glad you have made apps to see court. It will make you feel so much less intimidated.

Twinkie · 05/10/2004 14:26

I klnow someone will have asked you this but can you contact victim support at all??

They may be able to make you feel more comfortable about going to court and help you with counselling and maybe even moving??

fairyfly · 05/10/2004 14:43

Victim support have been round and given me an hours counselling. I have been told to apply for council housing, i would rather stay here and make plans to move than be forced out though. Thanks Twinkie

willow2 · 05/10/2004 21:19

Good luck FF - be thinking of you.

ggglimpopo · 06/10/2004 09:23

Message withdrawn

JanH · 06/10/2004 09:30

And gggl had to do it in French, FF! Imagine that!

I hope you find your visit to court helps. Have you bought the green rubber number yet?

fairyfly · 06/10/2004 09:32

Thanks so much for taking your time to post all that ggg. No questions, just letting all of that sink in, its made me feel a little sick. Did you honestly feel better afterwards and the stress lift a little? (I suppose that was a question)

spacemonkey · 06/10/2004 09:43

No advice but just want to send you lots of hugs FF, I would be scared shitless too, but it will be over soon XXX

ggglimpopo · 06/10/2004 09:45

Message withdrawn