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Original poster

I have agreed to a second date on Sunday, but.....

416 replies

Pinkchampagne · 24/08/2007 20:46

he wants to take me to see a spy thriller!!!
I can barely contain my excitement!

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lou33 · 03/09/2007 22:47

god you sound like me when i talk to myself lol

Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 03/09/2007 22:48

Do I?!

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lou33 · 04/09/2007 00:21

yes, not sure if i should worry for you or not!

Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 04/09/2007 07:41

Lol, oh dear!

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lou33 · 04/09/2007 12:39

have you heard from him today?

Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 04/09/2007 15:50

No, but I don't expect to yet, as he is in Portugal with a friend & it obviously costs lots to text abroad. He said he would send a postcard, and I told him that he would probably be back before it got to me!

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lou33 · 04/09/2007 15:58

maybe he will email you

ooh maybe he will bring you back a pressie!

Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 04/09/2007 16:01

He doesn't have my email address!

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Blu · 04/09/2007 16:05

Hello, PC - just catching up on all this.

You don't sound at all bonkers.

Hmmm. It's difficult - what you really need when you are in that 'provisional driving license' period following a break-up is a few non-serious-on-both-sides healthy, fun, lighthearted liaisons...and the problem ('problem' being too strong a word, probably) with this guy is that we knew all alloong that he was very strongly interested in you because of his interest from a while ago, the fact that he was willing to wait, and the fact that he clearly takes things like relationships seriously because he didn't hassle you to see him while you were still in the same house as exH, etc.

I can completely understand why you are slightly wary of the suggestion about a weekend away etc so early....and yet it doesn't seem reasonable to throw the baby out with the bath water and not go on dates with him, as he sounds like a nice guy.

Maybe you should just go away with him for a weekend fling, after which you will be besotted or repelled!

Just remember that you are not indepbted to him just because he behaves nicely, agrees to lots of dates-without-commitments etc. You are not obliged to make any heavy decisions at all - at any stage

Good luck...let's see what happens.

Blu · 04/09/2007 16:06

LOL - one of those Portuguese Cockerels.

Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 04/09/2007 16:31

Hi, Blu, haven't seen you around for a bit, have you been away again?

I was fine for the first two dates, but started to feel a bit strange after the third one on Saturday night.

He is so different from ex H in both looks & personality, and after the w/e, it almost messed my head up a bit for some reason. This has led me to think that I am maybe just not ready for all this yet.

Not sure if it was the mention of a weekend away, or the invite to his bed, or a combination of both, but I came home feeling very unsure.

I am a nightmare - I know I am!

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Mumpbump · 04/09/2007 16:36

Don't know you, but know how it can feel when someone is more keen on you than you on them, iyswim... I would just go with the flow and enjoy it. Tell him you want to take it slowly - quite understandable if you're not that long out of a relationship. If he likes you, he's not going to rush you.

Blu · 04/09/2007 16:37

Nope, nightmare you are not!

yes - went to Mum's with DS for the 4 days after bank hol - it was uncharacteristically hot and sunny!

He really misread you with all that pressure - repeated invitations to 'stay in spare room' fgs! And w/e away. A steamy but un-pushy 'you are SO gorgeous' - i.e an honest admission that he finds you extremely attractive would be more flattering and easier to deal with in some ways! He might not be right, if you felt funny.

And why would he be? heavens, you'd be some kind of miracle magnet if the only new man in 11 years turned out to be The One!

See how you feel when he gets back.

And eye people up in bars in the meantime.

And check out that dress that hannie55 says she wore to a wedding on her 'Unreasonable' thread about leaving a wedding!!!!! (I've ordered two in different colours)

Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 04/09/2007 16:56

Lol at that dress! Think I may give it a miss...not sure about the colours!!

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lou33 · 04/09/2007 17:15

pc if it's any consolation, i feel a bit like that about the new guy i have seen, he is v different to my exbf, and it's had a bit of the same effect on me, which is why i'm not sure how i want to progress from here

but like blu has suggested, i am just going to look on it as a nice fun time and see what happens, after all it isnt like i have agreed to marry him or anything!

zippitippitoes · 04/09/2007 17:17

take it slowly...I can imagine it's really hard

Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 05/09/2007 14:16

It's all a bit strange isn't it?

I don't know if it's all making me more of a wreck of emotions than normal, but I've been feeling very all over the place recently.

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lou33 · 05/09/2007 14:19

think its all v normal, and tbh i dont think it would matter if you left it another year, it's the thought of hte next relationship after the break up that is daunting, not when it is

Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 05/09/2007 14:51

I think your right Lou.
I knew I wasn't ready for any involvement with any other men when I first moved, and think I may have agreed to it because lots of bad things had happened in a short space of time, and I thought it may help me to get out on a date again, but this hasn't really been the case!
Think I may need to try to sort my head out a bit first, as it is feeling more messed up than ever just recently!

Stalker man has not dissapeared as hoped, btw! I am just trying to ignore him totally now, as I've tried being blunt with him & he doesn't get the message.

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Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 05/09/2007 14:55

Excuse my bad English in the first line of my last post!

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lou33 · 05/09/2007 15:03

there is nothing wrong with dating and not getting serious

it gets you out and might make you feel more comfortable when you meet someone who interests you more seriously

Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 05/09/2007 17:17

No, I know, Lou, and I think that is why I got a bit put off when he mentioned a weekend away, because to me that was him thinking of us as an item, and I was taking things 1 date at a time, and not at all sure if I was ready for a relationship at all just yet.
Are you with me?

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lou33 · 05/09/2007 17:19

yes

but maybe he just wanted a dirty weekend?!

Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 05/09/2007 17:21

I think you're right though, in that plain dating can do you good - it's when they appear too keen too quick that I suddenly get scared off!

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Original poster
Pinkchampagne · 05/09/2007 17:21

Probably did!

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