My mother has just invited me round to dinner with my ex!!!!

[Pinkchampagne]

She has text me "Do you & ex H want to come round to dinner tomorrow night?"
How barking! What are they playing at???

Dont let them get to you PC, they are only trying to wear you down so you will back down. Have you answered them yet about tomorrow night?

PS I have E - mailed you

Yes, I replied quite soon after, once I had got over the shock, and I am not going!

Cant say I blame you!

It would have been a great Saturday night!!

I am laughing at your cutting & sticking! You cut & paste, but I guess it is the same difference, just doesn't involve a pritt stick!!

Erm, copy and paste, not cut!!

Ooops! At least I managed to do it! You will be glad to know I didnt use pritt stick!

Yes, well done to you, all that ICT training at work has paid off you see!
I, on the other hand, need more training!!

LOL!

Copy and paste, copy and paste, copy and paste, copy and paste, copy and paste, copy and paste

Im just practising for next time

I'm off to bed now as I have a rather hectic day ahead of me tomorrow!

Have a good couple of weeks and I will see you back at work!

Have a lovely holiday, you deserve a nice break after the last couple of months!

Seems my mum text ex H with the same invite!!

And what did HE say, I wonder?
Did he tell you that?

He just told me that mum had text him with basically the same message, but didn't say anything of his response.
I said that I found it all a bit strange, and he seemed to agree, but I take it a lot of what he says with a pinch of salt now.

The thing with him is that he gets people with his charming side.
After my nan's funeral he was the one to put on a wonderful spread, and family members were saying "Oh he is so good, why did you kick him out?"
My parents just feed of all that stuff.

Can really sympathise, that must be soooo annoying. My ex can also charm the birds off the trees. He has really behaved shockingly (violence, keeping children off school, telling children he is going to kill me, demanding more than his share of our house money on the grounds that he doesn't work and I do, etc), yet at the drop of a hat, he can go out and get loads of people believing his lies, and thinking that I am a dreadful bitch who has cheated him. Fortunately, he can't stand my parents. It must be dreadfully hurtful to have your ex winding your parents round his little finger.

I used to know a girl who had a student job in a bar. She said loads of men used to come in looking for their wedding rings that they had lost the night before. "I took it off to wash my hands" was the standard excuse, apparently.

Pinchampagne, somehow I have managed to miss the key saga, but I get the general gist.

on your that your mother actually stalked you here on mumsnet as opposed to offering some real life support in the first days after you split from your ex. Unbelievable.

They all sound mad, you are so wanted aren't you! They all seem to want you back in their clutches. No wonder you want to run for it.

nightynight, the more I see about your ex, the more I dislike him. Bravo to your parents!

hi, tigermoth!
sadly, no credit is due to my parents. They decided that they couldn't stand him, the moment they learned his name and realised that he was not Anglo-Saxon. They are racists, and refused even to meet him for ages. He could never do anything right in their eyes (and he did try to be nice to them at first).

Christ almighty PC....i've just read your key saga and I'm sitting here with my chin on the floor.

What a piece of work she is??

I'd reply to her invite with something along the lines of "No thanks, I'll give this one a miss but I have given a key the nearest prison for all the new prisoners who are relesed to use, I'm sure you won't mind. I told them that you'd love to entertain them for the evening, I said they can let themselves in, don't bother knocking.....not sure what time they'll arrive....could be anytime I suppose...thats ok isn't it??"

Sorry PC, I'm utterly utterly stunned at you mum. I knew she was on Xdh side but this really takes the biscuit.

Ah, now I remember. Bad influences wherever you turn
Hope things are settling down now at your home.

LOL at your response, LTH!

The whole charm thing is very annoying, but my parents have seen ex H's other side too, so it annoys me how much they side with him & try anything to ignore the fact we have separated at all!

Last week, mum was going on about how she worries about ex H all on his own in his house, and I responded by saying "I've been all alone for 3 months now"
To which dad replied "Yes, and whos fault is that??"

Sometimes I can brush it off, but it can all really get me down.

Nightynight - it sounds like you had an awful time with your ex, poor you.

I feel very sad for you that your h was alowed to muscle in on your Nan's funeral like that.

The phrase 'charm offensive' suddenly makes a great deal of sense, doesn't it?

Your Dad is an unpleasant viscious *** ino. The answer to 'and whose fault is that?' is exH's for being abusive, frightening, controlling and making your life a complete misery. prepare that answer next time he comes up with his flip trite answers, and ask if he really wnated his own daugter and grnadsons to live in cowed misery.

But there is a chink of space and perspective that you have gained about your parents now, PC, keep letting it get wider and wider and bit by bit it will be easier to not let it get to you. But I know, parents is parents - it's not like changing your energy supplier.

Sometimes I can ignore & brush it off, but other times they all really get to me.
When dad came out with the "Whose fault is that?" line, I didn't respond at all, I just totally ignored him - but he did get to me inside. I wish I was stronger with them - I get quite cross with myself for not being stronger.
I know that they will never be happy with my decision, but I am not going to go back with him to make my parents happy.
Sometimes I feel like running away from the lot of them!

He appeared wonderful at the funeral.
he was the row behind me during the service, but moved next to me half way through & put his arm round me.
I was in such a state that anyone could have had their arm round me at that point in time, but everyone thought he was so good, despite the fact he came out with "Best feel I've had in a long time" while doing this!

Then he put on this wondeful spread after, and I got my mum's cousin saying "He is so good isn't he? Why did you go & kick him out?"
I just said we had problems. I really didn't want to go into details at that point in time.
Mum has since told me that her cousin thinks the sun shines out of his backside!

PC I too knew this would be you!

The main thing I noticed form your key thread was that your relationship presplit was quite similar to that of your parents. Maybe subconciously they are aware of this too, and that you splitting up while your mum made the choice to stay with your dad is what is causing this bizarre behaviour. Either way they are barking!

You are moving on with your life and sooner or later your parents will have to like it or lump it. I can't imagine your exH staying alone for long (will want a new partner so feels in control, ego boost blah blah), and think that that may be when it sinks in to your parents that you are both moving on.

He says he will never get into a serious relationship again, but will sleep with the odd woman.