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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Original poster

nutcracker, pirategirl, and all other down mum's with crap ex's, come on down we are going to get thru this and share it all.

40 replies

pirategirl · 13/08/2007 10:01

so if you fancy a moan, even a laught at your completely ridiculous sitch with your ex, please come here and rant.

WE WILL NOT BE UNDERMINED ANY LONGER !!!!

WE ARE FANTASTIC, CAPABLE MUMS.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

OP posts:
nutcracker · 13/08/2007 10:16

Aww thanks Pirategirl

isheisnthe · 13/08/2007 10:22

Can I join in - had an awful few weeks with my nobbish ex (who still is living here) - he basically wants to back track (and tried it on and got a firm knock back twice last week) so now is behaving like an absolute arsehole - surprise - nothing he says about me bothers me - I am aparently anorexic looking - amazingly enough everyone else thinks I look great - but its his constant snipes about what a shite mother I am that are dragging me down - he knows this is the only thing that will "get" to me.

last night when NM dropped me off he offered to punch my face in - arsehole - think he jealous ladies? he was the one that wanted a "life" bit I am the one that seems to have acquired one that I love! ha ha ha revenge!

Original poster
pirategirl · 13/08/2007 10:27

Good for you!!!

How comes he is still there?? that must be rough.

Any hint how to get a nw man?? or do I really want one lol x

OP posts:
isheisnthe · 13/08/2007 10:38

be forward - that worked for me anyways! I work in an office environment so makes it easier I think - bonus is he is 6 years younger than me and that make him 16 years younger than nob end - which must be pissing him off big time!

O, and he is tall and ex is short and squat - ha ha ha

zmandaz · 13/08/2007 10:43

My ex has written a statement to the courts saying how much he hates DD and wants to harm her. All this so that he can get his parental responsibilities removed (which the courts can't do even if they wanted to)

I don't like to use the word hate too much but I hate him so much. I can't believe how he's acting and have no idea how I'm going to explain it all to DD when the time comes.

Oh, and he's fat and looks like a toad

mojosmum · 13/08/2007 11:15

my problems with ex at the moment arnt that bad except for the fact that his family who life at the other side of the country have taken his 2 kids that life with him to theres for the week but they dont want dd & he doesnt see why im angry that they didnt even offer i feel that they are not treating dd as a equal to the other 2

rant over

he is tall & still not bad looking but now looks 9mnths preg & thats a really turn off

nutcracker · 13/08/2007 11:58

zmandaz, your ex sounds awful. Why does he want his pr removed ? is it so he doesn't have to financially contribute ??

zmandaz · 13/08/2007 12:54

I've no idea nutcracker. I think he's (mis)- read it somewhere on the internet. Apparantly if you have a parental responsibility order and you are abusive, it can be removed but you can't just go and say, I don't want to be a Father anymore. He says he doesn't want to be held responsible if DD ends up in prison!!!! I have to wait till September 11th to find out what the court says and am really scared that they'll tell him to get lost again as I've no idea what he's planning to do next. I mean, if he's willing to get a criminal record (which he now has), just to get his way, where will he stop? Plus, I'm having to pay court costs out of the very small settlement I got from our divorce so am probably going to end up with nothing. I've not seen a penny of CSA payments although they say I should get something this month but I wouldn't put it past him to quit his job so he doesn't have to pay. The whole situation is just crazy and I feel so angry towards him. I mean, does he honestly think that I'm going to, after all this, ask his opinion on which school to send DD to etc??? I can't believe that I thought he was a nice guy to begin with.

Original poster
pirategirl · 15/08/2007 10:31

hi I put this in my other thread, just wanted any advice. I know what I should do, but he makes me scared.

I now have no idea when he's coming to see dd again, as he was supposed to be going away for a couple of weeks for work. Yet he had a fit on me last friday, where he didnt show up, and let dd down, and also told me he no longer wishes to speak to me.

I should bite the bullet, and contact him, but its really not my duty, and i'm fed up of spoon feeding him.

Yet this impacts on dd, that she won't have any warnignthat she is going to daddys, and she is much better in her frame of mind if she has warning. Also, its fecking annoying for me not too know till last moment.

I am also thinking, hey, what the hell, I am NOT going to contact him, I'm not going to bother. If he gives me 1omins notice then so be it, don't fret, and say nothing. let him see that, we prob wont be ready in time for he to be picked up,ie we need to pack her stuff etc...

god I am so fed up and mixed up.

OP posts:
nutcracker · 15/08/2007 10:35

When is she supposed to be going ?

Pinkchampagne · 15/08/2007 10:51

Mine still gets to me, he is so bi-polar - one second he comes across as really nice and helpful, then the next second he turns into an aggressive arsehole. When he is nice, all I get from my parents friends & from family is "He is such a good bloke, why did you leave him?"

He recently took 3 sacks of the boys toys to the dump because they wouldn't tidy up fast enough for him, and he has worse tantrums than my 4 year old, but my parents just adore him & think I am terrible for leaving him.

It is a shame we can't just scrub them from our lives at times, isn't it?

nutcracker · 15/08/2007 10:52

God yes PC, would do that in a second if I could.

Original poster
pirategirl · 15/08/2007 11:46

his weekend is supposed to be this one, he would normally come friday anytime form 4.30-6.30.

OP posts:
nutcracker · 15/08/2007 19:37

Hmmm it's hard then, if you think her going at short notice would upset her then when he turns up i'd say sorry but you ssumed he wasn't having her as there had been no contact.

It's so hard to know what to do isn't it ?

Original poster
pirategirl · 15/08/2007 19:58

yes and i have better things to be worried about tbh, i get a headache most days, grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

OP posts:
Upsadaisy · 15/08/2007 22:00

I am so maddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He's putting him barely seeing the kids on me as I won't drive them to his house....he can get the bloomin bus taxi borrow his dads car I'm soooooomad!!!!!!!!!! I don't wan tthe kids to blame me should I be taking them? He lives 5 miles up the road!!! I'm so upset what do I say to the kids?

Original poster
pirategirl · 15/08/2007 23:27

hiya,
dont take them.

i have had the same here. lazy pigs the lotta them.

Its just one more thing to sling at you. But my ex left us, and has done little to be involved since.

my dd cried herslef to sleep 2night.

I too am feckin mad at him.

OP posts:
beller · 17/08/2007 08:59

Hi Can I join in? Not exactly a single mum yet...but i am 21 weeks pregnant and boyfriend decided the conception part was all he wanted to play,,,and has taken off!
Havnt spoken to him for a month now,and havnt seen him for 2!
I have an appt with midwife in 2 weeks where she would like to know medical history on his side...will he return my calls...no?! Why because he still owes me money from a holiday we went on earlier in the year,and i think he thinks im chasing him for that! (which i am..but want info too!)...
So come early next year, think i will need you guys!!!

Isheisnthe- my bpoyfriend tried that in the beginning...didnt want anything to do with the baby or a relationahip, but wanted to pop round for sex!
zmandaz- that is totaly unbelievable ..iterally sat here with open mouth!
mojomum- thats really unfair on DD....!
pirategirl- how old is your dd? can you say to her that daddy might not be able to make it this week, so prepare her a little? so sorry your dd was so upset, really not fair on her and your ex should be made well aware (im sure you will!)
pinkchampagne- its so annoying when people only see the fun side outside the four walls?!
upsadaisy - very annoying, were travel arrangements sorted out when visiting was? Hopeyou manage to sort something out x

nutcracker · 17/08/2007 09:03

Morning all

Of course you can join Beller, sorry to hear that your bf has done a runner, but you will get loads of help on here thats for sure.

Well I still haven't heard from xp, so thats over a week now, half of me is pleased and the other half is mad for the kids.

I am ging to ring the csa when I get chance and tell them that he told me he was now working, because I know he won't offer the info to them unless they ask.

Original poster
pirategirl · 17/08/2007 22:31

hi beller, its nice to see you on here. i am sorry your bf has buggered off, you will def have everyone on here to support you.

xxxxx

OP posts:
nutcracker · 18/08/2007 15:32

Not having a great day here today, I am so tired which is odd as I haven't really done alot this week, I think it's just the monotony of my life making me so tired.

Still no contact from xp, which tbh I am now shocked at really. I do still want him to sort access properly if he wants it, ie via soliciter, but it looks like he is just going to not see them instead.
At least we will all know where we stand, but I am worried I won't cope with no breaks at all ever but I know he is just waiting for me to ring him saying how i need a break, well he can sod off cos it's not happening.

Oh well at least the kids are all back at school soon so that will be a break.

allgonebellyup · 18/08/2007 15:43

nutcracker, im sure if you found a job or a college course then things will start to feel better for you.

i am working part time now and also doing a part time uni course, then next year i hope to do a full time masters degree. these are all things that make me feel better about myself instead of moping around

nutcracker · 18/08/2007 15:45

Oh you are definatly right, I just can't seem to sort myself out.
Found out today that yet again I have failed to even get an interview for a job I know I could do standing on my head. There were 6 positions available too.

I find the job hunting thing so stressful and it knocks my confidence so much.

allgonebellyup · 18/08/2007 15:48

god that must be hard, kick you when youre down, eh?
it just means those jobs werent right for you.
what would you be interested in doing, job or career-wise??

nutcracker · 18/08/2007 15:52

Ha ha that is the 64 thousand dollar question

There are quite a few jobs that interest me tbh, but at the mo i'm looking into the role of an Operating Department Practitioner. Have applied for a job as a theatre assistant at a childrens hospital too, but won't hear wether I have an interview for quite a while yet.

Also interested in nursing, midwifery.

I have applied for an access to health course for sept but as yet haven't heard anything, need to chase it up again.