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Original poster

Support for essbee

400 replies

anorak · 10/09/2004 15:12

For our lovely essbee to post whenever she feels down and wants to chat, and for anyone else who wants to be here for her....

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
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mummyloves · 13/09/2004 00:45

For anorak and sobernow. Keep being there for her. I'm 100% sure that everyone who has posted would try to sort out some of Essbee's problems for her if they were physically able. You're talking to her personally and I'm sure with whatever capabilities you have , you're trying to do that. You're good people. Essbee, this world needs more good people, and from what I've read, you're one of them. Please stay here where you're needed and feel better soon. Get some rest and let everyone know when you're up to it that you'r eok. Take good care.x

twogorgeousboys · 13/09/2004 00:45

Glad essbee talked to you sobernow.

Take care essbee.

night night all xxxxxxx

tigermoth · 13/09/2004 08:14

take care, essbee

please feel free to contact me if you want to.

Batters · 13/09/2004 08:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Twinkie · 13/09/2004 09:13

Essbee - I have posted a message on your other thread and cannot copy it on here for some reason.

Things do start to get better honey and then there are days that it comes carrering round the corner again and whap hits you full throttle in the face but as time goes on those days get further and further apart and thinsg will get easier.

As for the parental dissappointment - give up on it - I realised I was the biggest dissappointment to my parents years ago but at the end of the day how can I someone who is better than them be a dissappointment - you would never treat your kids the way they have and are treating you so know for sure i the back of your mind that you are better than them and maybe their dissappointment should be turned back on themselves for not doing a better job as parents!!

Can you go back to the doctors and try and get some help for DS and maybe some counseling with a psychotherapist for you??

SoupDragon · 13/09/2004 09:26

Essbee, I will talk to your parents for you. The offer is still there, it will always be there.

MummyToSteven · 13/09/2004 10:41

morning essbee. am thinking of you today. you have my phone number and are always welcome to contact me. try and eat properly, even if its just meal replacement bars - if your blood sugar is low you will feel worse

Original poster
anorak · 13/09/2004 11:18

essbee, I've bumped this thread for you...hoping it will give you some extra strength.

For Strong Women

OP posts:
cartrefle · 13/09/2004 11:36

Hi Essbee, just wanted to let you know you are in my thoughts and prayers and I'm so glad my thoughtless comments didn't put you off posting. Beautiful post Papillon.

essbee · 13/09/2004 16:16

Message withdrawn

Original poster
anorak · 13/09/2004 16:19

Just hang on in there. Hold very tight and we will help you over the bumps...

OP posts:
essbee · 13/09/2004 16:27

Message withdrawn

Twinkie · 13/09/2004 16:32

Do you need anything honey - other than support of course??

Have you reconsidered telling your parents - they could offer you support that you greatly need if only they knew the full story - thats what went wrong with mine (oh and they were complete bastards!!) - they never knew my side of things until he had got to them and so them continued to stand by him!! If you needed someone to go with you I am sure there would be lots of offers including me to come with you.

What about x2b is he having the kids anymore than he was?? And how is the divorce side if things going?? DId you go on that website - even if you didnlt tell him to - enough to scare the pants of any man thinking about being funny about letting his wife keep house and be able to house her children - he will be taken to the cleaners!!

Original poster
anorak · 13/09/2004 16:40

Can I just explain on essbee's behalf, because I know this upsets her, and I know these suggestions are made with good heart, that her parents are no help to her and probably never will be. The good thing is that she has us and we are here for her no matter what.

OP posts:
Papillon · 13/09/2004 16:47

hi essbee
nothing insightful to say today.. saturdays effort was emotional enuf for me to write! but just wanted to tell you that I spent time with your ds at the summer party - he showed me his spiderman magazine and we had a very nice time together

Twinkie · 13/09/2004 17:14

Sorry SB and Anorak just for me it was cathartic to tell parents what had actually happened - realised then that they were a complete waste of space and no matter whose fault everything was they were not there for me anyway - sort of gave me the resolve to get on and not have the issue hanging in the background IYKWIM!!

Anyway will leave it there I know how shitty familes can be!!

kimi · 13/09/2004 17:15

Hello essbee, i have just found this new thread as i was off line all weekend as my monitor blew up. Still getting the hang of finding things here so if i dont post much please dont think i have "given up" on your thread.
I did not catch the very start of your thread so i really am playing catch up
I hope you dont mind my being here, i really do want to try and help.
From what i have read you have some very good MN friends and everyone is sending you so much love.
Please belave that this WILL come to an end and although you dont see it yet you and your childern will be stronger for all that you have been through.
Big hugs

Original poster
anorak · 13/09/2004 17:26

Hey kimi.

OP posts:
kimi · 13/09/2004 17:37

Just a quick add on on the subjuct of family!!!!!
My fathers family wernt worth the space they took up on this planet and never excepted my sister or i ( he was divorced well before he met my mum) as we were his 2nd family we were treated with contempt, when he died we only found out by chance 3 days later and i had to beg to go to the funeral where we were relegated to the back seats
As a child it was soul destroying but it made me determin to have a better family and be a better family to my children.
I have always had my mother my sister and until she died in 94 my mothers mother. When i met Dh he bruught alone some very nice family members (and some right stinkers) Anorak will know who is who!!
Now i am blessed with 2 beautiful boys and they are surrouned with a loving family, and not all the people in our "family" are relitives some are very good friends.
What i am trying to say (and i hope i am not speaking out of line as i dont know your situation with your folks or your ex) is that YOU and YOUR children are a family and you love and support each other, if your parents are not there for you and if your ex is a t*!& then they are the ones loseing out on the beauty of what you have and who you are. I know that my fathers family have missed out on the joy in my life and the chance to meet two exceptional children who are full of love.
You also seem to have a wonderful MN family who love and care for you, THEY chose to be YOUR family essbee so take strenth from their love for you as well as your childrens.

Original poster
anorak · 13/09/2004 17:41

Blimey kimi you're quite good at this, aren't you?

OP posts:
kimi · 13/09/2004 18:36

You see anorak the more "damaged" we are the more shit life throws at us the more we get knocked down the STRONGER we become!!
We all have things to over come and by doing so we get stronger the more alive.
The darker the experance the more radiant the light of hope that shines within.
And from the pain and the tears comes peace and understanding from feeling lost and weak comes knowledge and strenth and from all the "kicks when your down" come selfworth and experance.
It makes us all what we are just as much as the good and the love in our lives.
And from going through all we do we learn and we grow and then one day we might find that someone who asks for help and understanding might find one tiny thing we have to offer a help.
Then we shear, we trust, we give and we smile.

tigermoth · 13/09/2004 19:12

essbee, I hope your AD's stop making you feel horrible asap.

I have read anorak's message about your parents and my heart goes out to you .

Can I throw this in? are there any other people out there - any of your sisters, an aunt or uncle, the parents of your ex, who could stand by you? and by 'you' I mean you as a single mother with two children who needs some basic practical support. I don't mean them taking sides against your parents or your ex and all the complications that I can only guess at.

Whatever misunderstandings have been part of your relationships with these people, is it possible to put this on a different level - practical support in a crisis - nothing more or less - your children are their grandchildren, their nieces and nephews.

Many apologies if I am way off the mark.

SoupDragon · 13/09/2004 19:39

Essbee, you wouldn't have to go there, that's the point ;)

Rowlers · 13/09/2004 19:41

hey essbee, been away for a week or so so missed the other thread - just read it all and all these messages now. I remember you were struggling with your DS recently, and all the rest on top? Crikey lady, you're a star just to have got this far! Hope you can pick things up and have at least one GOOD moment each day, just for you.

serenequeen · 13/09/2004 19:43

hi essbee, i know you're not feeling it right now, but i do think of you as a very strong person. as i have followed the events in your life recently i have been marvelling at how strong you have been given everything that has happened. just wanted to say that. hope things improve for you soon.