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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

kids on first holiday with dad & I cant contact him

88 replies

mistressmiggins · 28/05/2007 21:12

I hate this

ex has kids once a month (cos lives so far away)
weekend is ok - this is the first time in 18 mths that he has decided to take them away for the week

dont get me wrong, Im glad as its half term so good for DS, but I cant contact exH. Have sent him a txt asking him how kids are (my DS 5 had fever on Sat & went away even though dr advised NOT travelling) and I just want ex to let me know they are ok
YES I know they r OK, but I just want a simple response

my children are 5 & nearly 3 so obviously I miss them & am wondering about them

why cant he just reply?

OP posts:

ruddynorah · 28/05/2007 21:14

have you rung him?

Amanda1 · 28/05/2007 21:15

Message withdrawn

Original poster

mistressmiggins · 28/05/2007 21:17

he never answers his mobile - says its coverage but Im not allowed to phone his house phone as SHE (mistress) doesnt like me phoning.

all I said was "how r kids? dont get proper response when I phone cos of their age & just wanted to know you were all ok. Please ring me or txt to let me know all ok"

no response

like I said, Im sure all is OK but why cant he just reassure me considering their age & fact DS was poorly on Sat when they left?

OP posts:

tribpot · 28/05/2007 21:18

Phone the house - who cares if SHE likes it or not? You need to know they are okay.

GiantSquirrelSpotter · 28/05/2007 21:18

Oh M because he is a twat who thinks that by replying kindly and considerately and politely to your text, he would lose face. It's "his" weekend you see. Nothing to do with you.

And that's more important to him than reassuring a mother that her children are safe.

It is so sad that people go in for these petty unkindnesses when they split. What a twat. Sorry M, hope he gets some sense of perspective and replies.

Original poster

mistressmiggins · 28/05/2007 21:19

am too scared to phone as last time I phoned their house, I ended up getting a load of abuse from H. I spoke to her & she made out I swore at her - if you knew me in RL, you;d know I didnt.....the next day he actually apologised & accepted that shed made it up but I think after that incident, he must be too scared to phone me when she is around.....they are in a caravan so she will hear if he phones.

OP posts:

Amanda1 · 28/05/2007 21:19

Message withdrawn

Original poster

mistressmiggins · 28/05/2007 21:20

he has them for the week - this is the longest he has had them in 18 mths

OP posts:

Original poster

mistressmiggins · 28/05/2007 21:21

cant phone house as they are on holiday
he wont answer - if he hasnt replied to txt, hes obviously ignoring me

hate these games - I always answer phone to him when he phones during the week

OP posts:

Speccy · 28/05/2007 21:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

j20baby · 28/05/2007 21:22

aw mm, they're your kids! you've got every right to ring and ask how they are! i know you may feel uncomfortable doing it, but won't you feel worse if you go to bed without getting a response?

tribpot · 28/05/2007 21:22

Record the call. I'm not kidding. Do you have a home phone that can record calls? Either way, how can you go to sleep not knowing if the little ones are okay? You need to know, and who cares about the sensitivities of the adulterous beatch?

I would ask a friend to come round, so you have some moral support (plus a witness) and then call anyway. Bollocks to her.

Original poster

mistressmiggins · 28/05/2007 21:24

when children speak to ex on phone, its drival but when they speak to me, they always chatter for ages
I know its the first week away so I miss them but I dont see why he couldnt just txt to say ok
like i said, if I try his mobile, he wont answer - he told me b4 they left that he didnt think they had coverage so I asked him to phone when he DID.....he hasnt

OP posts:

winnie · 28/05/2007 21:25

oh mm, how horrid for you. frankly, he is a pig not replying to your txt. Of course you need to know that they are ok. Were you planning to have any contact with the children whilst they are away? I can't have one day without ds (neither can his dad) so we phone ds at least twice a day when he is with the other of us. I would phone. You need to know the children are ok.{{{{}}}}

pirategirl · 28/05/2007 21:26

ok, i have a little exp in this dept, they do love to have the control.

try again 2morrow, but phone this time. if he doesnt answer, try again during the morning. Then text him, that you have tried to phone and text.

If no reply by tomorrow evening, tell him that if he doesnt let you nkow they are safe, you will assume something has happened, and that you will call the police, or his family, becuase you are worried that there has been no word.

that may do the trick.

Speccy · 28/05/2007 21:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BettySpaghetti · 28/05/2007 21:34

Hi there MM.

Sorry hes putting you through this .

Bit of a long shot but could you get someone else to try and phone him (his parents? mutual friend?) -he might answer the phone to them and they could find out how the children are and pass on the message that you are worried.

Original poster

mistressmiggins · 28/05/2007 22:16

good thinking Betty!

Am just resigned tonight to the fact he wont respond....will try again tomorrow night & if not go, will get his parents to phone him
how pathetic though - I 100% answer the phone to him yet he wont answer when he has the children - its the same every weekend he has them - I phone, no answer

makes me so frustrated

OP posts:

tribpot · 28/05/2007 22:25

Perhaps I'm just scaremongering as I've never been in this situation with kids, only as a child myself. But - what if they want to say goodnight to you? What if an emergency arose and you needed to reach them? I assume (altho don't know) that when I visited my father as a child my mum had a way of getting hold of me - this was obviously back in the day, when we didn't expect to be able to reach everyone instantly. But even so.

Of course you don't want contact with him or the SHE devil, but they are your children, you need to know you can reach them and vice versa.

Original poster

mistressmiggins · 28/05/2007 22:29

my children are 5 & nearly 3 so dont exactly think to ask to phone
I dont like to phone as DD (3) is always anxious when she comes back as if she thinks she was never coming home clingy, sleeps in my bed etc

all I wanted was a txt saying "kids OK" not too much to ask for is it....

selfish H

OP posts:

Speccy · 28/05/2007 22:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

expatinscotland · 28/05/2007 22:32

You know, he's SUCH a fucking twat that from now on, I would decline permission for him to take them out of the country on holiday.

You can do that, you know.

I can't believe him! He's such a prick!

expatinscotland · 28/05/2007 22:32

I'd also take him to court to have his visitation challenged.

Original poster

mistressmiggins · 28/05/2007 22:35

funny you should say that expat, my SIL has just said the same - no taking them out the country if cant even let me know how they are in England

his txt works fine enough when suits him

not going to worry about it anymore - will just ring him tomorrow morning

OP posts:

Speccy · 28/05/2007 22:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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