Thread #3. Fed Up With Being Chief Cook And Bottle Washer. Sunscreen.

[Solo]

go power tool wielding mums and your daughter for putting that @@@ teacher right, what a disgrace, this kind of thing is not far away from fodder for the types who perpetrate the "metoo" attitude.

Feeling skint and fed up today. The ex has had to stop paying his maintenance and although it wasn't so much it did help. I have had no working shower since August and see no way of getting a new one.

I have also got back pain and although I go for a regular massage ideally I could do with a chiropractor to see to it. Anyway I have turned my mattress round today to see if that helps. Perhaps I need to start swimming?

I have been trying to afford for months too. I see no way I will ever have any decent money ever again the way things are going! The economy has slowed down and my earnings isn't reaching what it could.

Ds is selfish I told him if he stands on my back twice a week it would really help my back. He used to do this when he was younger but now he is 12 he doesn't want to. I will just have to walk round in pain then!

Charming lol.

It isn't the ex's fault as he has been quite sick although he is slowly on the mend.. He has paid reliably for 12 years for which I am most thankful.

It is my birthday soon and I doubt I can even afford to buy myself a modest gift! Normally I try to spend £60 or so but think the only way is to use the visa card but that isn't the answer either is it!!

Hope everyone had a good weekend. Mine was lovely......but had one of those moments. Had family round for our usual bad fireworks display - when dd was little she loved fireworks but not the bangs, or the big organised displays so I used to buy a box of the cheap fireworks that go more of a ‘phut’ which she loved. This tradition has carried on with family coming round after he left as it’s always more fun if you can share, where we stand around saying ‘that’s pretty’ whilst getting covered in smoke and then laughing at how ridiculous it all is!!! Well this year’s fireworks outdid themselves this year and we all laughed more than ever at them - me especially! Great night has by all (even my sister asked for extra homemade pudding!).
Then the following day my mum rang me to thank me.....and said how lovely it was to hear me laugh out like I had as it’s such a long time since she’d heard it, and how my dad had agreed. I know she meant it in a kind way but it made me realise how my life isn’t a bunch of laughs just a slog from one day to the next with little support.
It wasn’t meant to be like this for any of us, was it?

I don't know Fos I don't even have any family.

I can usually laugh but not this week. In fact I am normally the one who makes the jokes.

Anyway can't think like a deadbeat for long I really must overcome my negativity!

Aaaw fos , I know what you mean. I rarely laugh, there's too much on my mind to have fun.

I have to go for a scan tomorrow. If they find fibroids and sayvthey want to operate I can’t afford to have the operation as I don’t get sick pay.

Fos it is really wrong when employers won't pay sick pay isn't it.

It is bad enough being ill without the worry of money on top!

I am self-employed so it is a bit the same for me even so you would hope that employers would care about their staff more than they appear to do these days. A sign of the times.

Scan done this morning and no problems there thank God! Now just to see if anything can be done with medication

Phew fos! Pleased to hear it was ok.

AAAGGGHHH!!!! Just found this thread and just what I need today!!!!

I don't mind being a lone parent. The ex was a mentally, sexually, financially abusive prick. He's put me off ever wanting another man in my life, not that I'm flooded with offers :D any whatsoever, fine with me, after the sexual abuse and the mind fuckery from him I'm okay with that.

The problem is the day's like today. When you have no one to hug you after a shit day where no matter how hard you try you cannot win. And much of that is down to being a lone parent today.

I have an ex who after 5 years is still shit stirring. I've been to court more often in the last 5 years than I've had nights out (wouldn't be hard, their's only been 2) and he has spent since Mar, and particularly intensively in the last two weeks threatening to take me to court again. I am SICK of it. I mean FUCKING WELL MOVE ON!! HE got a girlfriend last year. I was pleased. I thought he would back off and leave us alone, but no, he has just carried right on. How she can stand him being so fecking obsessed with us I have no idea. The man is mentally deranged with his refusal to understand simple sentences with words no longer than one syllable. I am running out of ways of rewording what he needs to understand. Its like that Red Dwarf scene where Holly tells Dave everyone is dead...and no matter how he rewords it Dave still does not understand. Head...brick wall!!!

So that has been rumbling on for fecking months...and particuarly upset me over the last two weeks.

My washing machine packed it in 2 months ago, took me 6 weeks and a sickness bug (yes we did need to wash the sheets) to afford another one.

3 weeks ago our 10 yr old car died, repairs are worth more than the car. We live in a village so that is shit. The public transport system is more expensive to use than a car and much less convenient.

Builders came back again this week, just been told today that a job I thought had been costed for is not being done. Its not a house falling down thing, its just somethign that means alot to me, and I'm upset its not in the jobs to do list. The work is being paid for by ex so cannot quibble.

Just had to let down a friend and more importantly her daughter, agreed to go to bday party, when we had a car. Did a quick search and found we could get there on the bus. Costed it today. £50. Cannot do it at that price so had to let her and her dd down and that has really upset me (and probably her lovely dd too :'( )

So much of this stuff would be easier with a second person around. The ex would go one of two ways, go fecking furious his 'property' ie ex wife is dating someone else. OR he would most likely be too scared of my new man to continue to threaten me. I could have someone to help me do all the small jobs that need doing around the house...so many of them that I never have the time or energy or the tools to do, or the money to buy the tools in the first place, even if I knew what the tools to do the job would be. No one to give us a lift in the car to the party or to look for antoehr car or to bounce off what we need in a new car, what car is best etc, I've no fecking idea. A second income in the house to afford a few nice things (like a car).

I just need a fucking big glass of wine. I have none, and the nearest shop is 2 miles away and its dark and I have th echildren to look after (cause the ex despite going to court for contact over and over only sees them when it suits him). I only have dark chocolate and I really want milk chocolate. And I need a big hug and theres no one to hug and I can't lay this on the children.

It will be better tomorrow I'm sure...

Thank you for listening x

Hi explosive. Sorry to hear how long all that has been going on for . I know how you feel when you're stuck in and can't nip out for wine and chocolate. We need to invent some kind of single parent emergency drone delivery service .

I'm feeling bleughhh today. Still got to take anti-B's after my op last week and they make me feel nauseous Will be finished at the weekend, thank goodness.

Ok - I’m stumped here on this one, anyone free to offer an insight? (I’m not brave enough for a regular board who no doubt will tell me to get over myself!).
Dd has certain things that has been stuff I generally do, and stuff change does. Not a problem, if the other needs to cover we do. Now there’s one particular group that dd belongs to that he really has had minimal contact with and shown next to no interest in.
This weekend he was supposed to e away but cancelled the trip at the last minute. He asked dd if she wanted to go to his and she replied that she now had plans for the Friday night and Saturday so said thanks but no. Dd recons he was a bit hacked off that she said no but tbh if you don’t dance to his tune that’s what happens so she didn’t think anything of it. I didn’t know this conversation had happened, he just dropped her off mid week saying his plans had changed but we’d stick to the arrangements, ok, fine no issue.
Fast forward to this morning and we have church parade with the organisation. Just as we’re going out the door unknown to me he messaged dd to ask what time at the village memorial. This is the man that has never been involved in the group and never shown an interest in Rememberence Sunday, never attending in all the time i’ve Known Him (over 20 years). Without telling me he turned up with dd half sibling but left early as sibling started to get fractious, standing away from me not making himself known.
He then rang dd later today to say he was there.
Why??? He has no connection to the village we live in either

*Things he does

No dates for ages and now have two in one day - feel s bit bad in one sense but knowing my luck neither will be suitable! Let’s hope these ones pictures are less than 5 years old......

Foslady When are you going? :)

And in response to your previous post... No idea! But, people are odd especially some men so who knows! Did you find out anything further about why he turned up etc?

Didn’t find anything out so leaving it - can only presuhe was looking for something to do!
The dates were yesterday.
Date one - pics were at least 5 years out of date and saw him wandering around before I went into the cafe. Part of me wanted to turn around and get back in the car but politeness got the better of me. Excuciatingly dull, and very awkward, glad to drive away!
Date 2 was a blast! Nice guy, totally lost track of time but circumstances would make it too tricky (both of us are resident single parents of 14 yr olds and a 40 min drive away). Shame, can’t say I really fancied him on meet up but may have done in time if we were closer. First time i’ve Ever had a 1st date that ended up in the 1st pub off the docks though!!!! (It was a great pub with a good atmosphere, but pretty rough!!!!!😂😂😂)

Well! That sounds okay (number 2) :). Listen, I was once taken to a trucker's cafe on a first date . I was dressed to kill and looking fantastic! Bloody idiot he was! I took him to an Indian restaurant and paid! Came back to mine for a coffee (he'd traveled a long way) and when I went back into my living room with the coffee, he was stood stark naked with a rather impressive erection! I told him it wasn't happening so he got dressed! No second date for us!

I know!

Hi you wonderful bunch - several name changes here but was actually on the first thread (may have been FushandChups then?).

Anyway - been having a pretty crap time of it recently as feels like everything is getting on top of me.

I changed roles at work and am really struggling with the behaviour of one of my new colleagues (who I would've said was and close friend before taking this job). She treats me like I'm stupid and know nothing and yes, I'm new to it but she visibly rolls her eyes, pulls faces and even put her head in her hands when I was talking last week. Pretty demoralising

Fos - helloooooooo! Just wanted to say I'm on awe of your bravery with dating. I am ready to meet someone but online dating freaks me out and I just can't get my head round it. I know you've not had much luck yet but you're out there which is half the battle so well done!

Hey Bear! Welcome back . I actually need to get going but, I wanted to say hi first and please stay :) I remember Fushandchups :). Catch up soon.

Hi Solo - good to read your updates.. hope DS has settled down a little and is feeling more hopeful for the future.

Hya Bear! I remember you as Fush!!!!
Omg - shock horror - it’s happened!!!! I finally have a 2nd date!!!! And he’s as keen as I am!!! Not dock pub guy I hasten to add!!! Met this one on Sunday and constantly messaging since, meeting on Friday - woohoo!!!!! Haven’t felt this in years so i’m Making the most of it!!!!