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Original poster

Benefits of being a lone parent!

45 replies

curlysue · 22/06/2004 09:56

I just thought it might be nice to concentrate on the good things about being a 'lone parent' for once!

I can think of loads but here are a few of my initial thoughts:

You can watch whatever you want on telly - soaps, documentaries about sickness and babies dying (and cry without anyone tutting and laughing at you!).

Toilet stays remarkably clean, no need for toilet mat!

You can go out to things you want to go to and make excuses for those you don't and then once out you can leave when you want to. And no in-laws!

The vague chance/hope that you might have sex with someone new occasionally!!

I'm sure you can think of loads more. It doesn't have to be doom and gloom does it??!!

OP posts:
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nikcola · 22/06/2004 10:17

u can walk around in your house with no make up on looking like crap (not that i do that) and u can spend hours on mn with no one moaning yey

spacemonkey · 22/06/2004 10:30

you save a fortune in grocery bills and can have whatever you want for dinner

you don't have to pick up stinking socks and pants off the bedroom floor

you don't have to tolerate a sulking moody buffoon taking up your precious airspace

you can invite your mates round when you want without having to consult said buffoon

you can take up the whole bed

spacemonkey · 22/06/2004 10:34

you don't have to tolerate beery breathed buffoon huffing all over you after a night out and expecting sex

lou33 · 22/06/2004 10:37

These are all remarkably tempting reasons

Loobie · 22/06/2004 13:24

no one to disagree over discipline of kids.

No debating over housework,decor furniture etc you just buy what YOU like.

Takeaways for dinner everynight if you wish.

Going out where when and with whomever you like.

Just generally not having to answer to anyone else for anything- it's great Ilove it.

Original poster
curlysue · 22/06/2004 13:31

Excellent to see other people feeling the benefits of a man-free life!

I just turned 40 and I was so spoilt by my friends and family. I'm sure if I had a man they would have expected him to arrange things and I haven't been out with anyone yet who has planned any great surprises for me (but then I am well known for my cr*p taste in men!!!).

Just generally pleasing yourself about all the everyday things has a lot to be said for it. Trouble is you get used to it and I'm not sure I could be bothered to compromise again!

OP posts:
MeanBean · 22/06/2004 14:26

The fact that other men come in and put shelves up for you/ fix the gate/ dig the garden/ fix your car because there's no man around to do it for you! (and if there was, he wouldn't bloody do it anyway!!)

Gingerbear · 22/06/2004 15:13

or 3x 6foot blond south africans come to fix your floor...........

Gingerbear · 22/06/2004 15:13

Not that CD is a lone parent....

Tinker · 22/06/2004 15:50

Agree with everything so far. Also, you can go on holiday where you like, no consulting. Also liked that 'us against the world' feeling sometimes

nightowl · 23/06/2004 02:26

there is no room left for a man in my house, every cupboard is full! no grimy work clothes to break my washers. no cleaning up stinky socks/pants. can watch what i like on telly. can spend as long as i like on internet/phone to my friend without someone tutting and mumbling in the background and listening to every word i say. no rows over how to bring up the children. no possesive bloke trying to stop me going out. can decorate when and what i want. can clean when i want. can eat when i want. can stay up late without someone banging on the floor telling me to turn the tv down. can have the WHOLE sofa to myself. can have pmt and cry and stamp as much as i like without someone keep going "whats wrong, just tell me" "theres nothing wrong you idiot! im just female". can write my diary without someone keep looking over my shoulder. can have uk style on all day. actually, this is putting me off ever having a bf again!!

nightowl · 23/06/2004 02:30

excellent idea for a thread btw!

wobblyknicks · 23/06/2004 06:41

You get the whole bed to yourself with no-one pawing you every 5 seconds.

When you go out and have to struggle with bags, baby and pushchair, passers-by actually help you because you're on your own but they don't help you when you're struggling because you've got a UH standing by doing nothing.

You don't have someone picking fights with your nearest and dearest every 5 seconds.

You get friends offering to bring their good-looking friends with them specifically for you to drool over.

You don't have to take anyone's advice about anything if you don't want to.

Agree with loobie about just not having to answer to anyone - it's fantastic.

maisystar · 23/06/2004 08:13

yippee!! fab thread!

agree with EVERYTHING everyone else has said- i love being a single parent

maisystar · 23/06/2004 08:18

no-one to complain when you don't wash up for 3 days!

when your drinking beer in the park on a sunny day you don't have to rush home at 6pm to 'make tea'!!

MeanBean · 23/06/2004 10:34

You're at liberty to hire a handsome young male au-pair who everyone thinks is your toy boy, but isn't...and then another one!!!

Original poster
curlysue · 23/06/2004 14:40

Glad you liked my thread! I'm new and I've been lurking for a while so thought I'd pitch in with a more cheerful view of single-parenthood for those of us that are quite enjoying it and anyone else who's thinking about giving it a go!

I can see that mumsnet is a great support for people who are having problems but it's good to have a laugh too!!

No one tutting when I pig out on chocolate either!!

OP posts:
donnie · 23/06/2004 15:10

what do you perceive as the benefits for your children? nobody seems to have mentioned them yet....

Piffleoffagus · 23/06/2004 15:13

you can take all the credit for their marvellousness!
For them well for my DS was the one on one relationship and undivided time he got with me for the first 3 years with no interference. He resents that he has not got it now I suspect that I have a dh and another baby...
Need a toilet mat with a ds though... eventually... gross

Twinkie · 23/06/2004 15:16

You don;t have to listen to another person fart next to you in bed at night!! - I am not a lone parent but to me that would be my big benefit!!

maisystar · 23/06/2004 15:18

agree about taking all the credit piffleofagus

also about the one on one time.

i think children benefit from a loving, stable family who worship the ground they walk on!

i really hope you weren't trying to have a go, donnie. would be a shame to spoil this thread.

MeanBean · 23/06/2004 16:01

The benefits to my children:

They don't have somebody in the house who is stealing the family money to drink so that we can't afford to do anything other than eat.

We can afford to go on holiday
We can afford to run a car
We can afford to live in an OK home in an OK area with decent schools

None of which we could afford to do when xp was there leeching off us.

They don't get the idea that relationships between men and women are based on deceit and dishonesty.

Their closest role-models are positive, confident, honest and hard-working.

They learn that although every relationship involves compromise, you don't have to tolerate the intolerable.

That's just for starters - I'm sure others could add more.

Original poster
curlysue · 23/06/2004 16:22

I think my dds benefit from having me happy, relaxed and here for them at all times. They have one message regarding discipline and the rules.

Yes it's hard when they see other kids having a daddy around (we haven't seen or heard from my ex p for 3 years) but they know they have me 100%.

I'm not saying that it's the best thing for kids but I expect most of us single mums didn't choose to be that way and it helps to look on the bright side from time to time!

OP posts:
Original poster
curlysue · 23/06/2004 17:50

Sorry me again! Just thought of another big one. I can cook one meal and eat with the dds at 5pm and then once they are in bed I can relax and put my feet up for the evening (ironing permitting!)

OP posts:
maisystar · 23/06/2004 17:58

how old are your ds's curlysue?

my ds is 3 1/2

oh and....i have sole control of the remote control ALL of the time