Benefits of being a lone parent!

[curlysue]

I just thought it might be nice to concentrate on the good things about being a 'lone parent' for once!

I can think of loads but here are a few of my initial thoughts:

You can watch whatever you want on telly - soaps, documentaries about sickness and babies dying (and cry without anyone tutting and laughing at you!).

Toilet stays remarkably clean, no need for toilet mat!

You can go out to things you want to go to and make excuses for those you don't and then once out you can leave when you want to. And no in-laws!

The vague chance/hope that you might have sex with someone new occasionally!!

I'm sure you can think of loads more. It doesn't have to be doom and gloom does it??!!

I come from a single parent family, raised by my mum. Benefits to me? That i didn't have to put up with a cold, mentally abusive and dominant bully, who had no respect for women. I grew up surrounded by love, was raised to be well mannered and non aggressive, and shown that it isn't always best to stay together for the sake of the children. I shudder to think what my life would have been like otherwise.

Well said lou!!

That's got to be the best part of being a single mum, for me anyway. I can bring my dd up just based on what I think and make sure that although she's only got one parent instead of two that parent is normal (to blow my own trumpet!), non-violent and not a sadistic twisted little prat who's going to mess her life up

i have just become a single mum and feeling pretty scared and fed up about it, but this thread has really made me smile, thanks

i think that of course its best to have two parents but ive seen so many kids messed up by cruel worthless s**t fathers that if thats the case its better to just have one. or i surpose you could argue that a lot of kids are sadly mistreated by both parents...two unloving parents or one loving one? well i know which option i would choose. i hope you arent having a go aswell donnie because if you are there are going to be a lot of people upset, if not i apologise in advance. anyway....another one, theres no-one to watch me eat two chocolate bars and moan about how much weight im putting on!

Message withdrawn

Sorry Maisystar I meant dds plural as in two dds! Not too sure about these abbreviation things! They are 6 and 4. How long have you been a single parent?

Glad we cheered you up granarybeck. It's no bed of roses but it does have its plus points as you've seen here!!

EVERYTHING from a purely selfish point of view I love being a single parent!

Haven't read the whole thread so sorry for repitions (sp?) but the ones I did read I agree with everything. my main few (off the top of my head) are

NEVER having to compromise!!!!

not having to put up with someones morning breath

not HAVING to shave your legs

eating what you want for tea when you want to eat tea

watching what you like

working when you like

never having to clear up after anyone (other than dd)

having lots of male friends without a partner to get jealous

At this point I should stop and say I could actually go on for hours but then I am a selfish control freak.

i'm being nosey but just wondered what everyone elses circumstances were!

i'm 26, and have 1 ds aged 3 1/2. i've been a sinle mum since i was 3 months pregnant!! ds has never met his father.
i live in sheffield and have just completed an access course in community work skills. in september i am going to help in a local primary school with a view to becoming a classroom assistant when ds goes to 'big school'!!

I don't mind you being nosey maisystar! I tell everyone and anyone my business!

I split finally from my exp when dd2 was 3 months old but I found out he was having an affair with someone at work when 6 mths pg. Just hung on til I got my head round it and til I was sure he wasn't going to make any sort of effort at making it work and then kicked him out.

We haven't seen him for 3 years. He e-mailed me to tell me he thought that was best (for who? Him of course!). He now lives in Holland with some woman he met on the internet and hasn't worked for years so no maintenance either!

Definitely better off without him I feel!

Good for you for studying and getting back to work. Luckily I work part-time in IT so am able to support us (just!). It does feel good to be doing it totally alone. I feel proud of myself. The worst happened and I'm OK! It makes you feel free, no compromising. Then I must admit that like fizog I am a bit of a control freak so it suits me really in a way which makes me feel a bit guilty that maybe I wasn't that bothered in the end. Then again didn't have much choice after choosing such a useless father for my 2 dds!

I just remember on weekends still being the one up at the crack of dawn while he slept off his hangover til midday and crying with rage and the injustice. Once he'd gone I was still up at the crack of dawn but there was no one to be mad at so I accepted it and got on with it. No more tears (well not as many that's for sure!).

God this thread was supposed to be a laugh and I'm getting all serious!

maisystar, i am 27 with ds age7 and dd age5. work pt in schools now but am going to college in sept to train to be a social worker. not sure quite how will fund myself but am applying for everything and we will see what i get. still getting my head round the single mum thing. been with exh since i was 15 and split was v. unexpected to me (he had affair). sorry not meaning to be gloomy on your thread, but am only starting to discover the pluses of being on your own.

message withdrawn

well im 26 and single mum to ds aged 7 and dd aged 5 months. they have different fathers. split with ds's dad by mutual agreement when ds was 1 1/2 and met dd's dad, saw him for a couple of years and fell out. bumped into him years later, he begged to have me back when i didnt want to as he had been the cruelest b***d to me in the past. he finally won me round and then i found out i was pg and he did a runner when i was 3 months. i did work full time but recently got made redundant. oh the joys!!

oh and meant to say gb dont worry about being gloomy. its hard at times and you sound like your going through it right now?

gb don't worry about being gloomy. I was VERY gloomy at the time too!

I'm 40 so feel very old compared to you lot! Definitely too old to ever be bothered trying with a man again. It's the single life for me!

I'm 36 with ds age 11 and dd age 4. I work PT at a playgroup and I am hoping to do teacher training next Sept, when dd has settled in to school. Got to learn to drive first though couldn't do that when bh was around as he didn't want me to have a life! Know how you feel gb as only been single parent since end of Feb this year.

curlysue, 40 isn't old! My Mum remarried at 40 and had another baby! Mad cow!

Agree with everything on this thread! In particular can completely relate to whoever (sorry, I forget who) mentioned having to get up at dawn while partner sleeps till noon.

Much as I would rather not be a single parent, it's much better than the crappy time I had with my ex. One more benefit of being a single parent: not walking on eggshells in case partner is in a bad mood. And another one: not having to put up with partner's bullying and violence.

Benefits to dd? Pretty obvious I should think.

Also would like to add that even though I am a single parent, that doesn't mean my dd doesn't have a father. He doesn't live with us and we don't (thankfully) see much of him, that's all.

Fizog, lovely to see you back here! Hope you and your lovely dd are well.

Having time out for myself when DD is with exh.
Having great conversations with DD because there is no-one else to talk to.
Being able to organise my life exactly as I like, just need to work around the times when DD is with me and when she's with him.
Consequently making sure that when DD's with me we do things that she enjoys, not chores that can be done when she's not around.

Spent 3 hours on the phone to a girlfriend last night whilst drinking whole bottle of wine and watching Glastonbury. The kind of Friday night you can't have with tired husband around.No supper to cook-hurray! I'm still getting used to it too-and it's not so bad!

I am a journalist and am looking for women who made a lifestyle choice to be a single mother for a piece on the benefits of being a single parent in a national newspaper. Money paid and copy approval given. Please call 07967 272369 or email [email protected] if you're interested. Many Thanks.