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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Original poster

I HATE being single

130 replies

nutcracker · 21/12/2006 22:03

Just hate being on my own with no one to give a toss about what sort of day I have had etc etc etc.

I know other single people who were up and about dating straight after their split and yes I know that they probably go out more than once every 3 years and so thats why they meet people but fgs, I just hate it.

OP posts:
LadyTophamHatt · 23/12/2006 19:53

But nutty, I'm married, living a happy life (mostly) and all I do is moan and whinge and shout at the kids. Or about them!!

Honestly, I often worry about the amount of shouting I do at them because I loose it so easily.
But then they're all laughing and joking with each other 3 seconds later so I can't be messing them up too much.

It's magic wand we need here, isn't it??

JollyOldSaintNikkielas · 23/12/2006 19:55

round here there is a lot of yoga type things in the day, community centres/health food shops (mainly full of semi-retired people so you don't have to be too self concious any way )It is relaxing (&good for toning muscles)which may be good for you atm.

Original poster
nutcracker · 23/12/2006 19:58

Magic wand would be fab yep

I don't want xp back, I just want a life, i don't wanna be everyone and everything the kids need all rolled into one, am not capable enough for that anyway as today proved.

I want a break and I want something to look forward to for once.

OP posts:
Original poster
nutcracker · 23/12/2006 19:58

Not even sure where my local commuity centre is, but will look it up.

OP posts:
cyrilthefestivesquirrel · 23/12/2006 19:59

nutcracker, I don't know your situation but do you work? or go to college? I think work can be a lifesaver when you are a single parent.

Most colleges have creches. How old are your children?

Original poster
nutcracker · 23/12/2006 20:02

Ds is 4 and yep college do have a crech but the courses i want to do are on satuirdays and evenings so no crech then.

I don't work no, haven't found anything yet that I can do, look all the time though.

OP posts:
Original poster
nutcracker · 23/12/2006 20:03

Dd's are 9 and 7.

OP posts:
cyrilthefestivesquirrel · 23/12/2006 20:05

how about volunteering somewhere? until you find something permanent? It would get you out of the house and meeting people.

I don't know if it's something you would consider, so sorry if it's not what you are after, but I can sympathise with how depressing it can feel to be in and on your own all the time.

pinkchampagne · 23/12/2006 20:13

Why doesn't he ever have the children? He is their father, you would have thought he would want to spend some time with them! You must be exhausted.
Going by your posts when you were still with your ex, you have definitely done the right thing. I know it's horribly hard though.
I haven't yet got to the stage you are at, so have all this to come & I'm terrified!
I work (although I am on holiday atm) & agree that it is a great distraction.

Who are you going to be spending Christmas with?

shosha · 23/12/2006 20:27

Message withdrawn

Original poster
nutcracker · 23/12/2006 22:15

He says he can't afford to take them out anywhere and can't take them back to his as it's a bedsit so he sees them here for about half an hour a week if that. Sometimes it is over 2 weeks between visits.

I am pretty exhausted tbh, just feel very drained and worn out but I am not going to be expecting any help from him any time soon.

I think I do need to try and find a job or do a course or something, even if I have to work for nothing, just need to get out.

Thanks all for your support, am off to bed now and hopefully tommorow will be a better day.

OP posts:
pinkchampagne · 23/12/2006 22:19

How about maybe asking if they need any help at your children's school?
I work as a TA in a primary school & we are always grateful of good parent helpers, as there is often little time to catch up with hearing the children read etc.

Hope you are feeling a little better tomorrow.

7swansaswimmingup · 23/12/2006 22:24

nutcracker, what do you mean you dont work! you do work, looking after 3 kids on your own and running a home whilst getting over the breakup of your relationship.

cyrilfestive is right you know about the volunteering. just go to your kids school and offer to read with the kids a couple of times a week and move on from there. working in a school would be best for you anyway then you havent got to worry about childcare

ISawTortoiseKissingSantaClaus · 23/12/2006 22:24

Hope you are feeling a bit more upbeat tomorrow nutty.
I'm ok today but thats only because DS's are here and i feel i can have more fun with them and they can stay up later than DD's so i'm not so alone!

I don't get a break from the DD's.Their Dad is allowed 3 hours a week supervised contact.It is always a friday and i pick DS's up from school not long after dropping DD's off with their Dad and Supervising SW. I did ask if they could change the day/time so i could have 3 hours to myself but they can't.

From what ive read Nutty you are better off now DP has gone and it does take time to get used to being alone.

7swansaswimmingup · 23/12/2006 22:24

xposts pinkchampagne, great minds think alike!

JollyOldSaintNikkielas · 23/12/2006 22:25

(())night

7swansaswimmingup · 23/12/2006 22:26

tortoise, have a fantastic xmas,i was so pleased to read that you have your ds's till 3pm xmas day,brill

Bimblin · 23/12/2006 22:27

Big kiss to y'all

ISawTortoiseKissingSantaClaus · 23/12/2006 22:34

7Up I think we will have a brill time! As long as i don't ruin the christams dinner.
I think im as excited as the DC are!

pinkchampagne · 23/12/2006 22:36

Ahhh, that's nice! Have a great Christmas

7swansaswimmingup · 23/12/2006 22:38

doesnt matter if your dinner is rubbish, good excuse for the kids to eat more chocolate and you of course

my solicitor did good for me in court so i havent got the ex coming xmas day which is a relief. me a happy bunny also

ISawTortoiseKissingSantaClaus · 23/12/2006 22:40

Thats great 7UP.
Yum! Chocolate!

Pinkchampagne · 26/12/2006 14:17

How was Christmas, nutty?

Original poster
nutcracker · 26/12/2006 18:01

Xmas was great, thanks for asking.

It tok me a while to warm up, felt a bit miserable first thing but by the time we were all dressed and assembling toys etc I was fine.

Xp came over with his 2 elder kids at about 10:30 and he was fine until he asked for his black jacket and I told him it was in a bag in the cupboard of no return in Ds's room. He started ranting about how much it cost etc, but I just reminded him that I offered him all of his stuff when he mved out and he didn't want it so I could have actually chucked it if i'd felt like it.
He asked me to look for it and I told him to sod off.
He left shortly after.

My mum and my brothers came for dinner and we had a lovely day, the kids behaved and the food was great

I did get slightly upset when I went to bed, but was that tired I think I fell asleep before it could get a hold lol.

So yep it was good, roll on next xmas

Hope you all had a lovely day too.

OP posts:
Blondilocks · 26/12/2006 18:19

I don't get this hating being single thing.

My ex-OH was fab at the time, but it's just nice not to feel I have to ring someone every night & worry not to wind them up if they are tired & particularly grumpy or to be treated as if I'm stupid just for saying the smallest thing & to wear whatever I want, spend whatever I want on things without having to justify myself. Also I can speak to male friends without being quizzed as if I was about to run off with them (even the gay one!)

That really paints my ex in a bad light - he wasn' that bad at all (he knows who I am on here!!)