Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6

Original poster

I HATE being single

130 replies

nutcracker · 21/12/2006 22:03

Just hate being on my own with no one to give a toss about what sort of day I have had etc etc etc.

I know other single people who were up and about dating straight after their split and yes I know that they probably go out more than once every 3 years and so thats why they meet people but fgs, I just hate it.

OP posts:

Original poster

nutcracker · 23/12/2006 10:26

Oh no PC, right by xmas too, hope they all better for xmas day.

I am just tired, run down, stressed etc I think and it's just getting to me more than usual.
If i get through today with tears it will be a miracle.

Kids are playing nicely so I should be in a good mood really.

Must get off my backside and get dressed so we can go to the shop.

OP posts:

pinkchampagne · 23/12/2006 10:36

It seems tradition for my boys to get stomach bugs right on top of Christmas - this is the third year running!
DS2 had it on Wednesday & DS1 started throwing up yesterday. I'm just keeping my fingers crossed that I don't come down with it for Christmas day!

Sorry you are feeling so low. Can you maybe take the children out somewhere nice or arrange to see friends to distract you a bit?

Original poster

nutcracker · 23/12/2006 10:42

I remember a couple of years like that with Dd2 who always had chest infections or an asthma attack right before xmas. Thankfully she is alot better now she is older.

Unfortunatly the friends (term used very loosly) have made it clear that they have made their arrangements and will be too busy for anyone else.

OP posts:

snowwonder · 23/12/2006 10:47

i think it is especially hard at this time of year to, got dd's new letter from school and cried reading it on the way home,

i have been single for 16 months ex left me for someone else, who he has just bought a house with,

i offered him dd xmas day till boxing day as i had her last year but he had already made plans!!! before thinking of her which upsets me as i havent really made any plans and it would be easy for me to think that he is having a fantastic time with the girls that he left our family for, but it is probably far from the truth,
very few relationships are perfect, we are all proof of that i thought mine would never end and it has

and like most of you i dont really go anywhere to meet anyone, i am happy on my own but a man would be a bonus!! and i think that ios important i think you need to be happy on your own before you think about meeting anyone , you need something else to fill that void, then you will b a whole person looking to meet another whole person, (relate taught me that)

i also need to lose weight i have lost 3 stone since he left but in the new year would like to lose 2 more, i also plan to start salsa dancing if i can find a class,

Original poster

nutcracker · 23/12/2006 10:53

I think you are right snowwonder, I don't feel happy at all at the mo and thats probably very unattractive lol.

I am glad that I split with xp, it was definatly the right thing to do and from that point of view I am happier. I think I just thought splitting with him would make my life fantastic for some reason, and it hasn't.

The worst thing, is that I can see next year being the same.

Ok someone slap me now.

OP posts:

Original poster

nutcracker · 23/12/2006 10:57

Hmm lasted until 10:56 before blubbing

Really need to go get dressed now.

OP posts:

snowwonder · 23/12/2006 11:15

i think you need to set yourself small targets first one being to get through xmas..

and i didnt mean it as it would make you come across as being unattractive, i just feel that after my ex left i had to find myself as a person,and learn to be happy on my own and not rely on a man to make me happy it has been bloody hard i wont lie i never thought i would get over it, but i have, i still have small set backs but they dont last as long as they once did, i get over them quicker,

and i think if you are lonely and want to meet a man then you could make a really bad choice because you just want a man,

i am really scared about meeting a man as would hate to get hurt again but a least if i was on my own again i would know i could manage.

my children rowing really gets me down aswell and the constant having to sort out arguments between them is draining...

Original poster

nutcracker · 23/12/2006 11:52

Ahhhh yes, being a full time refferee does my head in too.

Your right, if a bloke who i didn't even particularly like showed the slightest bit of interest right now, then i'd be hooked and that how I ended up with Xp so should know better.

The thing that hurts the most is that although I was chucking xp out anyway, the thing that spurred me on is that there was the chance of a relationship with someone else and they now aren't interested at all and have a new girlfriend and so it feels like I did it all for nothing, which isn't the case as I wanted out anyway but, I just can't remmeber the point of it now.

Sorry waffling now.

OP posts:

snowwonder · 23/12/2006 12:30

most relationships end because there is another interest on the horrizon, already involved or not especially with men in my experience most men only leave if there is another woment o go to, although when ex was leaving me i never once thought there was someone else and never asked him if there was, niave i know but i have l;earnt from my mistakes and i hope they will give me a better future- i didnt find out about her until the sept and we split up in the june and it was only because my friend saw them together on a video of a party, and it recorded him trying to wipe the video!!!! and she wouldnt let him!!!

you have got to try and grasp this opppurtunity and make a new life for yourself and your children , i really hope you do

Original poster

nutcracker · 23/12/2006 14:06

I do try to, just not doing a good job if it today.

Oh well, at least I am dressed now and have been to the shop. Can hibernate for a bit now.

OP posts:

Original poster

nutcracker · 23/12/2006 18:34

Ok am back to feeling shite lol.

Kids are driving me absoutly nuts, am putting them all to be in a bit and then I am having a drink.

I just want something/one for me, to talk to, moan to, snuggle with etc etc.

God i sound like a broken bloody record, am annoying myself now.

OP posts:

MistletoeMiggins · 23/12/2006 18:41

hows your day been Nutty

saw this & knew how you felt/feel

you keep going all day & it would just be nice to have someone to moan at or laugh with....

have you read a magazine called psychologies?
heres the website (cant do links www.psychologies.co.uk/

it has some good ideas about Life coaching & making new goals etc - Ive found it very useful

come on here & chat too - thats certainly been my life-line although we all need to get out in the Real World !!!

Original poster

nutcracker · 23/12/2006 18:44

Ta MM, will have a look on there.

Have had a pants day tbh, kids are so wound up they are driving me mad, have just sent them to get their pj's, figured an early night for them would do us all good.

Feel like having a major tantrum tbh LOL.

OP posts:

pinkchampagne · 23/12/2006 18:44

How long have you been single, Nutty?

MistletoeMiggins · 23/12/2006 18:44

we all want that & theres nothing wrong with that...unfortunately you have kids so cant just go out on the town

cant chat now as just about to put kids to bed but will be on line later if you want a chat...or CAT me

I'll join you in a drink - I amy eeven venture into the bar on MN - always wondered what goes on but too scared to go in - now how stupid is that!! too shy of a virtual bar

Original poster

nutcracker · 23/12/2006 18:47

I have only been single for 4 ish mnoths, well 10mths if you don't count the brief reunion in june and july.

I think it feels like longer as I spent so long wanting out of the relationship. Am feeling like i shouldn't have bothered now tbh, feel worse now than then.

I don't often go into the MN bar either, will have to start

I will definatly be here later.

OP posts:

pinkchampagne · 23/12/2006 18:52

Do you feel more unhappy than you did when you were with him?
I guess you must feel very lonely at times, but I'm sure you will meet someone soon. It is still very early days.

Does he have the children often & give you a bit of time out?

JollyOldSaintNikkielas · 23/12/2006 19:18

Taken me 5 years to get over XH and haven't a clue about meeting men as I went straight from boyfriend/boyfriend/xh until we split up.I go out occaisionally but am very wary of men I don't already know after xh

Original poster

nutcracker · 23/12/2006 19:21

He never ever has the kids at all.

I do feel so lonely it feels like it actually hurts sometimes. I think I am more miserable then when i was with him yep, life just seems to get worse.

OP posts:

JollyOldSaintNikkielas · 23/12/2006 19:31

nutty I would love to say something to make it better but I have no idea what , but we do know what you are going through and evenwhen you feel alone at home you can come here and find friends.

Original poster

nutcracker · 23/12/2006 19:37

Thanks, wouold go nuts without mn tbh.

No one can say anything to make it right though I know that, the mess is too big and i'll just have to get used to it.

OP posts:

LadyTophamHatt · 23/12/2006 19:45

I know this won't help at all nutty, but if I lived closer I'd go out on the lash with you.

And, it's a very rare occurance that my DH asks what I've done during the day.....

Can't think of anything that doesn't sounds horrendously patronising but it will get better/easier, you're only young and you've got the whole world at you feet...blah blah blah.

Chin up missus

Original poster

nutcracker · 23/12/2006 19:47

Ta LTH, just can't see it ever being better at the mo, which is stupid I know but am just too down in the dumps to see what I can do.

I am miserable and am making my kids miserable, all I do is moan at them and they moan at me.
Sent them all to bed at 7 just cos I was fed up of them.

OP posts:

JollyOldSaintNikkielas · 23/12/2006 19:47

Its just the taking one day at a time, I never realised how bad I still felt until earlier this year I felt like I just woke up.
Do you have any free time during the day?
A gym/exercise class?Yoga/pilates helped me feel better about myself and helps relaxation too

Original poster

nutcracker · 23/12/2006 19:49

Ds goes to nursery 2 days a week and I have tried to find something to do but local gym is shut until June/July and alot of stuff runs in the evening anyway, and I have no regular babysitter.

Have investigated college but at the mo am struggling to find somenoe to babysit. My mum will but she can't garunttee she can be avaiable every week as she does shifts.

OP posts:

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6