Is being single always this hard, boring, depressing or is it just this time of year ??

[nutcracker]

Seemed to be confronted with happy xmas pressie shopping, loved up families yesterday.

Am just jealous obviously and really think it's fab that families like that do actually exist but god it makes me feel crap.

I am looking forward to xmas cos of the kids, but for me it's just equalling more stress, lonely nights sat in on my own and no money.

I am trying to find something for me to get invloved in but nothing as yet.

I want to be able to get up, get in the car and go xmas shopping, pop to my dads, to the xmas market and then home for a roast dinner, which is what we used to do wether we were rowing or not.

Instead I have to sit hear, reffereeing fights between kids and sorting out washing.

Tis like groundhogday.

It is terrible and feel for you. All i can say is it won't always be like this and it makes you stronger and appreciate what you have. Also when you do eventually get back to where you want to be you don't take it for granted as much. Try and see the positive and think of the negative in the stress of a man.

nutty, why cnt you go to your dads? or shopping? or do the roast dinner?
i think you need to get out and do xmas dinner with someone else. all of you. then at least you wont feel so lonely.
at your dads? or a friends?

Oh I can go shopping but taking all 3 on the bus costs me a fortune and plus is a right hassle at the mo as it's so busy. We did have a quick look yesterday but I kept losing Ds.

We used to visit my dad every saturday. I can go but it is 3 buses there and 3 back. They will come and pick me up and drop us back if I ask which I do occasionally but tbh I get peed off that they never offer or come over and visit us.

I am doing the roast though so thats good.

Am having xmas dinner here with the kids and my mum.

I just feel so cut off from everyone and everything really.

you are not alone in that feeling nutcracker and I'm not on my own!
I suspect its the same as when you are trying for a baby or have just miscarried everyone you see has a new baby or a big bump!

It will get better and we are all hear if you want a moan or rant or (whispering) a jolly good chuckle
Take care

Thanks

Think i'd better go and sort the kids out, sounds like WW3 upstairs again.

I know just how you are feeling, nutty. The whole Christmas thing is really getting me down, especially as my husband hasn't yet even left the house!

nightmare, pinkchampagne. sharing house with ex is awful.

We are still a family, even when ex is not about, so I dont feel family deprived. I probably do tone down Christmas a bit, and try to concentrate on the non-comercial aspects of it. Its just too much stress otherwise.

I don't find it that bad, but then I have been a single parent for three years now. I do sometimes look at two parent families with envy, but I just try to remind myself that everyone has problems and my life is actually pretty lovely most of the time.

Re the shopping, can you get someone to look after the dcs for an afternoon and go out and blitz it?

Christ PinkChampagne that must be really hard.

I am managing to do bits of shopping here and there and it's not the3 actual shopping that I miss, more the wandering round the shops discussing what we should buy etc etc.

I am gonna make this a great xmas for the kids if it kills me anyway.

My brother has just confirmed that he is coming for xmas dinner too and then his girlfriend and my other brother are coming over later in the day, so that will be good, we always have a laugh.

It isn't the best of situations - especially as my family really don't want it to be happening & will try to include him in all family things & make silly comments, but hey ho!

It is a toughie though, as Christmas is such a family time. I am so behind with Christmas shopping etc, because I just can't get my head round it all. I have bought the boys presents though & will try & make it as nice for them as possible.

Hope you have a nice xmas depsite the situation.

I did have to live with xp for a while after we split as he had no where to go to. In the end though I flipped and chucked him out. Sounds awful but I just couldn't do it anymore, was making me feel ill.

It's awful isn't it?
We have been living like this for 6 months now. H is refusing to budge until our house sells, as he pays the mortgage.
I lost the plot on my birthday this year & Christmas feels even harder.
I hope your Christmas is as nice as it can be. I'm sure your children will enjoy it.

It's a shame we can't all get together for a Christmas drink, isn't it?

Ahh yeah would be nice.

Hope your new year brings some relief to your situation anyway

Thanks.
I hope the new year holds some good things for you too, you deserve it.

Well, Nutcracker, I live with my kids' father and we get on pretty well but believe me, I look at those loved-up families too and wonder where I'm going wrong, if that helps.

Christmas is a bit of a shite time in loads of ways.
xxx

you have to split though nutcracker, or neither of you can properly get on with your lives. It was for his own good Had this with my ex for several years, neither of us could afford to move on. V bad for both of us, b*y house prices.

Oh yeah, I still know that I did the right thing and that xmas would be even more depressing if we were together, I would be dreading it.

Love your xmas name MI

I must say, when I am feeling down about my present situation, I look back at the last couple of Christmas' when we were still together & remember how miserable things were.
At least things can move on now, & next Christmas may be a much happier one, you never know!

im feeling miserable this year too, when with ex we used to go away for xmas so its a big shock just me and ds. I cried in tesco the other day looking at all the tinned sweets and lovely things that i would normally buy, it just seems they are unneccesary this year.

Oh well to take his place i will dish a dinner out for the dog and we will have a lovely day watching what we want and chilling out!

Hmmm,I have a dh but he has been away for 6 weeks (and will be away for 2 more) and I am really struggling at the moment.
Am bloody worn out with everything and just want to hide in bed.

Nutty,things will get easier.You have been through the hardest bit remember that.

2007 is the year you're going to start your access course, right?

I think this is an incredibly hard time of year for anyone who is not in a good relationship. I get through the feeling lonely and down part by concentrating on the kids, and just remembering how much worse it was to be faced with all the loved upness when in a relationship, but a totally shit, unsupportive, lonely one.
My two firm rules are:
Don't watch garbage like Love Actually (broke this one last week and it put me in a vile mood for days)
Hibernate with pampering treats over New Year and go to bed early.
I do sympathise, it's crap.

Nutty love, think about it.

'happy xmas pressie shopping, loved up families yesterday'

That just doesn't happen.

Families are never happy when they're Christmas shopping - ever. The parents are usually bickering constantly and the kids whingeing.

After Christmas shopping with my lot, I'm usually needing a lie down in a darkened room with a large glass of something cool.

christmas on your own is crap! ive just finished decorating the house...flashing lights outside ect....baby's first christmas and trying hard to get excited but alas!! seems pointless really! perhaps ill feel better tomorrow.