im so broke..i ran out of food today.

[penniless]

and i cant afford to buy anymore
im a regular but ive changed my name because im a proud person.
my dh walked out on me a year agoalthough he hangs around a lot still..he pays maintenance which takes me over the is threshold. so i only get tax creditsbut when we were together i took out a loan..a few years ago when i was earning and now im left with the payments to manage..ive just registered as self employed but im not getting any worki spent a lot of money getting my business up and running now im not getting any return im 500 pounds overdrawn at the banki cant stay afloat anymoreive no money for christmas prersents, no money for anything, the fridge is empty, i cant put petrol in the car,o told my mum today because id got so desperate but she wasnt interested, im so unhappy, how the hell did i end up like this, i dont want sympathy, just wanted to posdt it and get it off my chest

I only wish I could help you out myself, but for the minute all I can offer is a few bits/bobs to soapy but no funds/food or anything.

penniless, have you been in touch with your mortgage company? Could you extend the terms of your loan? Could you take a payment holiday or become interest only for a short period to get you through this crisis?
When I was self-employed I was entitled to working tax credits, child tax credits & also to childcare payments too when my youngest was still at nursery and that was all as well as the maintenance the children were getting from ex-H.
All the expenses you incurred setting up the business, you will be able to set against income & therefore you should be inline for a tax rebate on any earnings you receive.
It may be worth a call to the tax credits people to check you are getting everything you are entitled to.

Penniless can I just ask what your self employed job is? Maybe some of us could help you with that ie: help advertise or something(sorry if it's a silly idea) . I'm also self employed and just getting Tax credits as business is slow. You should be able get housing benefit and also council tax benefit as you on a low income. also have you made inland rev know you are currently not earning anything??

I'm trying to think of the long term for you to get you back on track.

Penniless re HA you wouldn't be making yourself intentially homeless.. you can't pay your morgage. I have just got a house through the HA as I had to sell the ex marital home as I could know longer afford to fight my exh (pay my solicitor) to stay in it. If you explain on your HA application this should be ok.

I have some clothes you can have if you let me know ages/sizes/sex. You can email at mushy31894 at fsmail dot net

You have probably already done this, but it's a good idea to look at your service providers and see whether you can get a cheaper deal on utilities and telephone bills.

Have a look at these:

Benefit check

And annother excerpt from the same website:

Debt Counselling.

For those consistently struggling with debts and meeting repayments, free personal help is invaluable. Do it as quickly as possible, the longer you leave it the worse it gets.

It?s really important you avoid any of the hideous evil beasts that advertise debt help or management on the TV or in red top newspapers. They are commercial companies who simply want to make cash out of you, they don't care. While in the short term their plans will make your payments lower, in the long run it'll cost you dear. Avoid them. Don't touch them. Don't go near them. The services I?m talking about are special ones for those consistently struggling with debts and meeting repayments.

The three places I?d recommend are Consumer Credit Counselling Service 0800 138 1111, National Debtline 0808 808 4000, Citizens Advice or visit your local CAB centre. The sooner you talk to them the better. It may help you sleep at night.

so penniless you dont have to pay back the loan see cab about going bankrupt.

oh and the council about getting a council house

theres no reason why you should sit on that much debt/equity and not be able to feed your kids

i would look into getting rid of internet connection too - that extra £15(ish) a month will come in handy

thanks everyone for your advice.
i have spoken to my local ha who have told me that, they would not house me on the grounds that i could not pay my mortgage, they said it would be classed as intentionally homeless, they said, if i sold my house, that classed as intentionally homeless.
i do not have moun tains of debts, i have one loan that was taken out when i was working 3 years ago, no i cant pay it, but i do not want people thinking im frivolous and have run up debts, i do not have credit cards or store cards, bankrupcy is the last resort.
no i cannot cancel my internet subscription, i already tried, im locked into a 12 month contract
i have however, just submitted an onkline application for dla..

sorry if that last post sounded strange, im trying to post in a way that does not give myself away.

i would go back to the homeless section in your local council

i work for a HA and what they are telling you is untrue.

i doubt not the extrmity of your situation just the absurdity of people giving you stuff and you managing to keep a home you own and a great credit rating and trying to set up your own company.

mumsnet is fab - i wish you no ill will. i know that the CAB would be able to help you set up IVAs. however with a credit rating at risk - future investment or loans in your new company would be highly unlikely.

so both the local council homeless dept ( every council has one) and the CAB would help you to feed your children.

i just think its a bit fucked up - homeowner unwilling to mess with own credit rating whilst nothing in cupboard. but good luck and i hope you all get a good meal soon.

Can I just add one thing about council housing.... it isnt as easy as it sounds!

We will be evicted from this house in the near future, after lengthy talks with the council, all they could offer me was a hostel, and for a minimum of 5-6 months.

Now I dont care what anyone says, I cannot and will not put my kids through 6 months of hell.

If the council have no houses to house you, you are shit out.

oh jarm, you've got it tough... so sorry to hear that you are having such a bad time.

custardo-i never posted on here because i expected other people to get me out of my mess, i for one do noty work for the council and do not know whether im being told the truth,
fwiw, im hardly sitting here laughing my head off in my nice cosy home, unwilling to end up with a dodgy credit rating or sell my home.
i think its worth pointing out that not so long ago, less than a year ago, i did sell my home, because of my financial problems, i moved to a cheaper area and a smaller cheaper house, if it came to it i would sell up again, however, my children have already been moved once this year, weve been to hell and back already and this was the first bit of stability they had, my daughter had to move schools in hewr final year at school and i will not do it to her again if i can avoid it,where i live is rural, counciul houses are few and far between anyway, but i havent sat here on my butt doing nothing, ive looked at every angle.
my so called business by the way is not the mahor corporate event you assume it is, it was purely me working for myself and declaring myself self employed.

i tink your situation JARM is vastly different.

at the very least you have definately found out what situation you would be in after your lengthy talks. and if you chose to not go down that route then thats different fro someone who manages to pay the mortgage but has nothing in cupboard.

you should be willing to end up with dodgy credit rating to have food in cupboards.

i am assuming nothing - other than you can afford to set up your own business which is what you told us all.

actually i was envisioning some small time work from home thing. - that was my assumption.

but you assume i am assumming - thats ok.

penniless. I have just been reading through your thread. What an awful situation. Can you get any other job? (apart from your business, I mean)

I have to agree about the housing issue. It isn't just as easy as 'getting a council place' and the definition of intentionally homeless would seem to include not being able to pay your mortgage - if you sell up that is and not wait for repossession and even then I am not sure. I split from H in August and we had to sell the MH as he hadn't been paying the mortgage for some time previous.

I tried to put myself on the LA list but they wouldn't accept me as I was still a homeowner. All allocations in this area (inner London) to Housing Association bar one are via the LA. I have temporarily moved out of borough (renting privately from a friend at market rent) but will move back in February as my children are at school in our old area and I have no wish to move them.

When we move back I then will put myself on the list (but have to wait six months as I have moved out of the borough) but don't hold out much hope. Because as far as I can see if my rented accommodation is deemed adequate by the LA then I am not a priority. No matter that its unstable and excessively priced.

All of this seems grossly unfair. Although I work in the public sector I am not a keyworker. And have an adverse credit record so could not be considered for shared ownership.

I can't be the only one in this position and despite trawling the internet for possible solutions can't find one - I feel I am destined to a life of high rent and instability.

One of the scariest afternoons I had this year was going to the homeless unit for housing advice and seeing the desperation and despair of all types of people there. I was with my younger son and to put your children through that would be my worst nightmare.

BTW will be sending penniless a voucher and some cash. I can see how easily this situation can occur, luckily at the moment I am on a DMP but OK compared with her and I appreciate my position. I feel as though I want to do something about the situation that many women (and some men) find themselves in after relationship breakdown - it seems as though they are a forgotten group and some are falling through the net.

your right it isn't easy. it's not meant to be. and some areas are harder than others - cities obviously - london obviously.

but wouldnt you - not pay the internet - or not pay the loan or not pay the mortgage for a month?

?

this ladies credit rating seems to be more important than food in the cupboards for her children - and by giving i would feel i am condoning what i feel to be a fundemental attitude flaw.

custardo-if it comes to putting food on my table, then i couldnt give a damn about my credit rating, however you cant just sell your house overnight even if it were an option and i dont think you read my last post where i said id already done the very things you suggested just a few months ago, its not just a case of not paying my internet, im locked into a 12 month contract with my isp which i cannot cancel..IF I STOP THE DIRECT DEBIT THEY WILL PROBABLY JUST TAKE ME TO COURT, youve twisted my words and made it sound as trhough id rather pay for my isp than food, and id like to try an d keep a roof over my head if possible..this roof, not some crummy hostel

oh and by the way, i dont get mortgage breaks so cant take a payment break otherwise and would and you cannot jnust stop direct debits

Quote from Penniless's earlier message

"fwiw, im hardly sitting here laughing my head off in my nice cosy home, unwilling to end up with a dodgy credit rating or sell my home."

I actually don't read this as being unwilling to end up with a dodgy credit rating or sell her home I actually read it as the opposite.

And she did say that she is tied into her internet contract.

Please Ladies don't turn this into a bunfight - that would be just horrible

Please let's just leave well alone eh?

Penniless - I really hope the money/help/food helps you out for a few weeks at least

Custardo- Penniless has downsized her home once. she cannot move to a smaller house- the house is already too small for the number of children she has.
When she took out her loan she was married and working. Her h left her and her health has seriously broken to the point where she is unemployable.

She is trying to work but unfortunately the work is not there in a job she can do.

As for her selling her house she really is not more bothered about her credit rating than food on the table. She needs a roof over her kids heads. She can't just walk away from it as the building soc will reposses and then sell probably for less than she owes and then come after her for the difference.

She never asked for help. When it was offered she refused it. I had to persuade her to accept the help in the hope that it gives her breathing space to try and look at her options (which she is doing)