lone parents housework / keep fit / healthy eating thread

[meglet]

We can only do the best we can. No point in going on housework threads if you're a working LP who never has a break from the kids. Or if you're a SAHM LP with small kids who can't get to the gym.

So, a thread for us to start the New Year with good intentions and to juggle it around everything else we have to do .

• I banned Minecraft today and tomorrow after some shocking behaviour (kicking each other in the supermarket) the dc's had a burst of enthusiasm, dysoning and tidying up to get back in my good books.

• I have managed to get out for a few runs over Xmas. We stayed with my mum for a couple of days so I went out then.

Here's to a positive start to 2015.

I am getting by with the assistance of cold capsules... I have helped DS with homework, a load of washing , been shopping to Aldi, returned a skirt that was too big ( £15 back in bank) and been to Clarks to get an old shoe box for DS's homework....

I have just ate lunch and ready for bed now... It is very relaxing been a LP.

Just catching up....

oh really Rummi? I didn't realise that's out income mortgage lenders will take into account fuck but that's helpful to know. Still going through divorce now, not sure what's going to happen with current family home, DH wants to sell & split & whilst I'm not totally opposed (as though what I think makes a difference I think it's just just how the finances work out) a fresh start might be good in a new home but also have to think about staying in same area for dd's school- due to start in sept-off topic I guess but anyone else have experience of this?

It's frustrating lizard. I'm hoping to stay in family home to give dc some continuity. Youngest esp is struggling with it all.

I've at least tidied the kitchen a bit and filed my pension info. :)

Hi all. Im new to this site. I found this though and thought I may be able to get a bit of advice....or at least get some crap off my chest. Im a single mum of a six yr old and one year old and currently pregnant with my third. Dad left us just before finding out I was pregnant again. Although he says he wants to support me he does nothing. Im really struggling and I just cant seem keep on top of the housework. ...which is dragging me down....and the more down I feel the less I feel like doing anything! Its a vicious circle.

fatty if you bagged up a load if washing and gave it to him would he do it? (If he wants to help)
And does he take the dcs at all?

Maybe if they were out and you could stick some tunes on it might help. But it is demoralising trying to keep on top let alone whilst pregnant.

Would he do specific things if asked fatty?

I have asked...he just makes me feel like shite for asking...like im the worst mum in the world. He sees them at mine as he lives with his mum and there have been a lot of problems in his fam that he dnt want the dcs around. .which I understand but he doesnt even take them out for the day so I constantly have them with me. It wouldnt be so bad if my dd wasnt so clingy as I could do it while ds was at school but she wont let me put her down

I am throwing in random strength training exercises to my day. Squats, crunches, russian twists etc. Just a few here or there rather than a long session. May or may not help.
Not done much diy or housework though.

Fatty that sounds like a hard situation

You can only do what you can do, baby steps. Eventually you will find the strength to tell him to take the kids out. He's taking it for granted that h can use your space.

It is as its quite a new break up aswell....we were together 7 yrs and we split November. I have just sat and made a list of everything that needs doing so fingers crossed I can get it sorted. Even if I only manage to make a start on it then I have done something and may not feel as useless.

I did my shred dvd today, supervised homework and had a bit of a tidy. feeling a bit , possibly hormone related

Well done fatty. It's a good start.
The first few months are hard. It still feels so raw. It does get better. I feel a lot better than I did a year ago. Still have the low moments. I hate it when the dc go to their dad's. I feel so bereft.

Did more tidying than me then! I went shopping for a birthday present for my sons friend as he is going to her party next week...then had to pay bills...whats new. ...I also visited the mother and limped my way back home a wallowed in self pity. So dont feel sad meglet things could be worse.
That is what I have decided. ..I watch enough jk to realise that by now!

Thanks rummikub. I know it will take time. I thonk I probably feel worse with being pregnant and hormones running wild...but its time to stop wallowing. My kids need me to be strong and they deserve a nice house....kick up the bum for me

ex has gone. he left lights on in the bedroom, bathroom and kitchen, loads of extra pots.

today I have washed up, and tidied some of the living room and the children's bedroom. still a mess, but less of a mess.

well I went out last night...To group of mums we decided to get together once a month.. My DS came to...

I had lovely night and just got up having a cup of tea on my own !!!

not sure what I am going to get up to today but feel great for a lie in so plenty of energy.

Fatty the first time my ex came. I completely let him look after DS and then got on with my jobs then... It meant I didn't need to talk to him.. it helped.

Do what is necessary ..if you used to change bedding weekly do it less often, hoover when floor is dirty not every day otherwise you never get the deep clean

jammy sod oo that was nice. glad you enjoyed yourself.

Well I have a list of what needs doing. I decided to try and ask ex for help one moee time as he keeps telling me that he wants to support me.....Im now in tears and feeling awful for it because my kids see me like this. He told me that I just have to deal with it. I try to do tue housework while he is here but my dd wants my attention all the time or if she is with dad then ds feels left out and wants hugs or stories as dad seems unable to deal with both at the same time! Then he has the cheek to tell me that if I have to ask him for help again he is going to end up phoning ss on me as im obviously not coping!

Then do not let him back into your home. He can deal with not having his own place and just gt on with being a McDonald's dad. I am fuming on your behalf. It's control. My ex h used to threaten me like that all the time. It is scary. Time to take back control or yourself. Ones he have a key, you need it back or change locks.

For yourself. Does he not ones he.

No he doesnt have a key. Its just ridiculous. I know full well that ss cant do anything other than offer support (my cousins house is ten times worse and they helped her sort it) . Hes mental if he thinks the dcs would get taken from me for a bit of mess...they are not neglected thay are healthy and happy (most of the time) and I was fuming I told him that its fine he doesnt have to help but to make threats is ridiculous as his children deserve better. Then I just hung up as I didnt want to get into a slagging match when the babas were present.....deep breaths

at watching jk to know it could be worse fatty. that's the most cheering thing I've heard in a long time.

Haha its true! Well I have made a start on the busy work. ..my living room is actually sorted....dont know how long for though as my dd is currently pulling all of the nappies out and telling me poo.. ..I have just changed a poo so I know its not! Its just an excuse to mess up!

I have filled pictures in photo frame for my bedroom and cleaned kitchen ..so now onto another cup of tea...need to start ironing next so DS has uniform for next week

Another cup of tea sounds like a plan...I iron ds' s uniform at night...otherwise it ends up under his bed or even in his toy box and he "loses" his uniform haha. Thing is he actually likes school and gets upset if he is too poorly to go....strange child.