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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Original poster

Fed up with not having anyone to share the burdens with.

960 replies

Solo · 20/08/2014 16:46

Bit of a self pitying thread really, but it's taken me a very long time and I can now say with conviction that after being on my own for so long...

I am fed up with the burden of being alone.
I am fed up with struggling on my own.
I am sometimes lonely.
I have no single parent friends or single friends at all and my 'social life' ha! what a joke is visiting my widowed Mum or visiting my Brother.
I miss my Dad terribly.
I can't get a job.
Not one 'friend' has spoken to me so far this summer holiday (except one that lives on cloud fluffyland in her mansion and that really cheers me up because shopping is her passtime!).

I could write a very long list of problems and yes, I know we all have problems, but I just don't want to do it on my own any longer, I don't want to face the problems on my own :( I could cry right now and need a real 'man hug' and I don't care who knows it!

OP posts:
meglet · 11/12/2014 12:48

Bookmarking to catch up. Back later.

meglet · 11/12/2014 15:45

Sorry to hear about your dog wherehas.

What did you get up to in the States?

WhereHas1999DissappearedToo · 15/12/2014 02:59

Hi Meglet, we went to Boston for about a week, where we did a lot of catching up with DH best mate, his wife and family I got hungover once or twice chatting about our student days Also walked around the centre of Boston and visited Cheers sitcom set (old glimmer here!). Then went to New York for a few days, did empire state, heaps of shopping, a boat cruise round Manhattan.

DD has finished school for the year, so she has a 7/8 week summer of lying on a beach (lifeguarding), work and hopefully some socialising.

TheFirstSolo · 16/12/2014 17:09

Wow! 1999 that sounds great! busy time for you all though ~ just before Christmas. Did you do lots of Christmas shopping over there or just 'normal' shopping?

WhereHas1999DissappearedToo · 20/12/2014 22:03

We did a bit of both really! Got a few xmas presents over there and some back home but DD went mental in the shops! (mainly clothes)

TheFirstSolo · 21/12/2014 01:22

Very nice too! :)

meglet · 21/12/2014 17:48

Ah, I remember Cheers. Sounds like a great break.

We've had fun this weekend. If your idea of fun is realising that not only is your laptop not working properly, when you can get it to work by holding the power cable at just the right angle that you discover you got distracted and didn't finalise the xmas supermarket food order and you lost your delivery slot. So we had to go to sainsburys today and try and piece together the food shop . The car park was full by 10:30am! I got there just in time and nabbed the last organic chicken (yes, I realise I could have a normal one Blush but I'm ex-veggie and we don't eat much meat). And the dc's started WW3 as I was finishing, so I shouted, a lot, on the way home.

So we have food and I have PTSD.

I don't mind Xmas as a LP. It's just the logistics of wrapping, food shopping and decorating that are a nightmare with kids under my feet.

TheFirstSolo · 22/12/2014 11:59

I hear you meglet I often have the shouty car journeys Blush.

I've got so used to being on my own now, but I'd love to experience Christmas as a full family. I haven't had that as a two adults, two kids thing since I was one of the kids :( makes me sad.

Still got things to get.

WhereHas1999DissappearedToo · 24/12/2014 00:23

That sounds a nightmare meglet in the supermarket! lucky you got the last chicken. Don't worry Dd doesn't eat much meat, I imagine she'll being going straight to the salad bowls, instead of the greasy BBQ food. (I don't think we're having a turkey/chicken/roast veg..too hot!) Our supermarkets have been okay but then I'm lucky that my work is just two blocks down the road so I park in my work car park. I feel very lucky I haven't had to get much xmas shopping as I'm in charge of puddings. Managed to make a Pavlova last night..

I've had xmas once as LP when DH was working 4 hours away (he worked for hours away..long story) and if he was working I would have xmas at my parent's who live an hour away from where he worked and he would come down for an hour. Since DH and dad died and mum's been in a rest home, I've had it at one of my brother's in Central Otago (2 hours from where we live), which is where we're going once I finish work at lunch time xmas eve until new year. Like solo I still miss that proper xmas family feel

Wishing everyone a merry xmas and happy new year!

TheFirstSolo · 24/12/2014 02:30

Merry Christmas to you 1999 see you next year! (if not before) :)

meglet · 24/12/2014 09:32

solo I'm glad someone else has shouty car journeys. FWIW the dc's are angelic at school, so what I tell them obviously sinks in Hmm.

We're off to get parsnips in a bit. I refuse to have xmas dinner without parsnips.

1999 how hot is it today? I tend to think of NZ as being fairly cool, are you in the north?

LadySybilLikesSloeGin · 24/12/2014 09:36

Here you all are, I lost the thread! Blush

Things are going OK here, hope you're all well. Try online shopping, Meglet Wink

No word/card/present for ds from his father, again. And he wonders why ds doesn't want to see him.

TheFirstSolo · 24/12/2014 14:02

Oh gosh yes! I have a lot of shouty car journeys. I think Dd is also good at school...

Hello Lady :) welcome back. :)

LadySybilLikesSloeGin · 24/12/2014 14:32
Xmas Grin
meglet · 25/12/2014 15:54

Hope everyone is having an ok Xmas. The dc's woke me at 2am and 5am Angry. The day is running smoothly but I feel a bit grotty because I'm so tired.

Anyway, DD is about to rope me into a game of junior monoply.

meglet · 25/12/2014 21:34

update; DD won monopoly. Although I think there may have been some financial irregularities with her banking Hmm. Funny how she still had a pile of cash left after buying several properties while I was declared bankrupt. DS stormed off in the first lap after refusing to pay rent to DD.

It all went just as I expected Grin.

LadySybilLikesSloeGin · 25/12/2014 22:08

Grin You have a true banker, there meg. There's time to sway her into a more 'honest' profession.

foslady · 26/12/2014 10:51

I am such an ungrateful cow.

I lost it on the 23rd at my dsis as I was really upset that my parents has asked me to sort out my sisters and my own present (on top of everything else and working 4 days a week when they are both retired when I'd already sorted out my dd's presents from various people at their request ).

As parents gift was a top up gift I couldn't ask them for the one thing I wanted. Another family member asked what I wanted and when I told them was told 'no as that's not for you, it's a house present'. So yesterday as well as being surrounded by couples (and treated to finally seeing the wedding photos that was done in secret with the other married couple there) I was told another friend was

foslady · 26/12/2014 10:55

Sorry posted too soon

Another friend of theirs was bought a 'practical' present but that was ok as he is a bloke.

I got a frock. A very lovely frock, but it's an 'occasion' frock. That I have no occasion's to go to. It is the style I like. And I have another similar one BNWT in my wardrobe waiting for an 'occasion'. And I cannot afford to buy the expensive version of what I wanted in the 1st place as now all spare money is to be used to pay for our holiday.

I am such an ungrateful cow. But I could cry.

foslady · 26/12/2014 11:00

Oh, and no card off dd and no present from her that xh paid for as she wasn't taken as when he asked what she needed to top up my gift (bought with the money I give her to get me something) she said she didn't know as hasn't been shopping yet. He didn't even give her some money to go with.

So that was another shitty phone call/row with him on Xmas eve when I called him on it (he'd of been foul if he hadn't of got a gift off her that I'd paid for).

And to think he wanted at one point to come back.....,,

misstiredbuthappy · 26/12/2014 11:05

Hi everyone ive not been able to post on MN for some reason. Ive missed loads by the looks of it.

Dd and I have had a good Christmas. We went to my parents for dinner then back home. Dd has bronchitis poor thing cant remember the last time I had a full nights sleep.

Got to say im feeling a bit jealous at other families all happy together when im sat on my own with nobody to talk too. Hope I'm not the only one that feels like this

TheFirstSolo · 26/12/2014 12:05

Foslady :( I don't blame you at all Flowers My son bought himself a bag of dry roasted peanuts. He decided to give them to me for Christmas instead Hmm. I suppose I ought to be grateful he didn't eat half of them first. The last present he got me was a bar of chocolate...but he ate half of it first :(. He's 16 now btw, so no excuse. I am fed up. My Mum gave me an unwrapped present last Sunday...it's a scarf/pashmina thing which is lovely, but I get so little, it would've been nice to have had it wrapped and given yesterday...she did give me a jumper wrapped up. It's horrible and looks so cheap even though she said it wasn't. I actually plucked up the courage to tell her I didn't like it. She was surprisingly fine with that.
Brother and SIL gave me a box of chocs (she knows I'm trying to lose weight), bath bombs (she knows I only shower as we have talked about that) and a set of frames which I like and will use in Dd's room. Sil is one to buy quantity over quality and buys from the local market stalls (so you know the bath bombs are thrush inducing cheapo things)...I'd much sooner have a £5 gift voucher.

Miss :) welcome back. Glad your Christmas was good. I do know what you mean about being the only one with no one to talk to :( it's horrible. Very lonely.
We went to my Mums for dinner yesterday too. Her table had collapsed, so it was on our laps, but it was nice.

misstiredbuthappy · 26/12/2014 12:48

Whats everybody doing today ? We are watching films, eating crap and playing games and ignoring the Christmas clutter

Realy nice being off work, I work in retail and its been very hectic the last month. I feel a bit run down to be honest dd seems to be catching every bug going lately. So doing nothing but play with dd is heaven.

foslady · 26/12/2014 13:10

We've played Harry Potter Scene it, now dd watching Hunger Games after putting new Xmas present bedding on and sorting through 'stuff' - I am actually enjoying today!!!(and have brought back left overs for tea tonight when she's gone to her dads )

TheFirstSolo · 26/12/2014 14:09

Today is Dd's birthday. She's 8 and has got 6 cards :( I find it so sad that I remember everyone else and their kids, but no one seems to remember my children. Supposed to be going to Mums again, but don't know if car will make it as the clutch is knackered.