Fed up with not having anyone to share the burdens with.

[Solo]

Bit of a self pitying thread really, but it's taken me a very long time and I can now say with conviction that after being on my own for so long...

I am fed up with the burden of being alone.
I am fed up with struggling on my own.
I am sometimes lonely.
I have no single parent friends or single friends at all and my 'social life' ha! what a joke is visiting my widowed Mum or visiting my Brother.
I miss my Dad terribly.
I can't get a job.
Not one 'friend' has spoken to me so far this summer holiday (except one that lives on cloud fluffyland in her mansion and that really cheers me up because shopping is her passtime!).

I could write a very long list of problems and yes, I know we all have problems, but I just don't want to do it on my own any longer, I don't want to face the problems on my own :( I could cry right now and need a real 'man hug' and I don't care who knows it!

Oh and no to the flu jab. I won't have it as I blame all these jabs for the ME in the first place.

Hello! Sorry, late joiner!

LP to a 3&5 yr old. Been a LP over 2yrs as was best decision made. XH started dating straight away and has GF but I've stayed single as have no time in the evenings to date, or energy or real inclination! The only time I do think about it is holidays, christmas etc.

Live in Gloucestershire.

Hi Choco :) yes, the hols and Christmas are the worst times aren't they?!

Im jelous I love Ed Sheeran.

solo I hardly ever drink, im going out next Friday though fingers crossed going into Liverpool for my friends birthday.

Christmas morning will be just me and dd then in the afternoon ill go to my mums for dinner, roughly an hour later she will of had enough so we will be back home dd will play with her toys and flake out about 6. Christmas always tires her out. At some point that night ill have a cry :( it get very lonely watching all these big happy familys on telly when your sat there on your own doesnt it ?

Hi choco

Yup. I'd love to cook for loads of people and have a day of fun, games and movies.

And me and lots of laughter instead of dd snoozing away upstairs and me sat watching the soaps, like I do every other night.

Oh well christmas is about the children as said by someone who hasnt the foggiest idea what bieng lonely feels like.. my mum.

I think Xmas is a load of tosh so I don't let it affect me! We are going away on the Boxing Day to stay a few days at a relative of the ex so that will be a novel experience lol. Visiting ds's family as he hasn't seen them all year .....! Pity it is in ropey East London but at least it is a change of scene .

I'm just dreading the usual christmas fight of demanding to see the children so he can pretend to all that he's father of the year, when he only sees them for a few hours a week x

Ds's father has never seen him at Christmas. The first year I took ds to my mum's (I was exhausted. Ds didn't sleep well and his father used to turn up and bang on the door, drunk at 3am a fair bit because he wanted somewhere to sleep. I just wanted to get away from him and sleep.), the second year he went to America for 3 weeks with his girlfriend, the third year ds had chicken pox and he kept away , then he moved abroad. He used to call to wish ds happy Christmas/birthday but that stopped when he got married. He hasn't sent ds so much as a Christmas card for the past couple of years. I used to do loads of fun things with Ds before we moved cities. There was a Georgean house museum so we'd go there. They do activities (making cards) and light the fires. It's all Christmassy and we had mulled wine and mince pies. We haven't been for ages though Then we'd go to the panto and make jam tarts (ds doesn't like mince pies). I worked all over Christmas apart from Christmas day last year and we both had the flu the year before.

Hi all, how are your weekends going ??

I was just about to go and start painting the bathroom when dd1 decided to have a bath

Instead I am sat curled up with the pooch, who is poorly

Oh and I have just been offered an interview at Tesco on tuesday

I think it is so sad when the dads aren't interested in their kids. I just cannot comprehend what they are thinking.

At xmas xp comes over to ours for a couple of hours in the morning. Drives me nuts, but it's for the kids. After that my mum and usually at least one, or both of my brothers come over and we have xmas dinner.

I do like it, but do get a bit annoyed sometimes that everyone always comes here. Would be nice to have it somewhere else one year so that I can just chill.

Dds "dad" (he doesnt deserve the title) visits about once every two months, sits here for about 20 mins then thats him done and hes never bought her a christmas presant he always mskes an excuse not to come round, I think thats why I always go abit OTT at christmas as I feel mean on dd that he wont buy her anythink. But shes totally not bothered in the slightest if she sees him or not wich is good realy.

Good luck with your interview.

Can I join?

I'm a LP as DH died about 18 months ago, I have a DD who is 15, I live in New Zealand and I work full time as an accountant. Oh and I'm 52

Tbh it's my job that makes me being a LP hard, I am supposed to work 40 hours but I ended up working just under 50 hours last week and by the time I get home I'm just exhausted and not up to doing to much. To makes matters worse I am the treasurer of a local club and I usually spend most of my sunday afternoons doing their books :(

Poor DD has to walk everywhere or try and get a ride off someone else as it's so hard to take her anywhere after school. DD helps out a bit with housework etc but I end up doing most of it. Sorry for self pity rant!

1999 welcome! I'm sorry that you lost your Dh in that way. It must be much harder to have your spouse die than to just split up iyswim? I'm probably not making myself very clear, but you are most welcome and you can be as self pitying as you want to be; that is exactly how I started this thread and it's very good to rant and wallow sometimes! :)

It is very hard working away from the home full time with kids; I did it for a lot of years myself also as a LP and it's draining and seems tough on the kids, but they usually roll with it ime. Don't be too hard on yourself.
Do you have family or good friends nearby? do you have RL support? I hope so.

How is everyone elses weekend going? I'm off to Mums shortly, but there's a blue light ambulance outside at my elderly neighbours house again and I (selfishly?) worry about her as I count her amongst my friends even though she won't let me see her since her stroke which makes me very sad... It's been over a year now and I miss her :( and dread her passing...

Hello 1999 I'm sorry to read your story I know it's difficult, are you able to work at home some of the time so you can still spend time with her? One evening a week where you can finish early, collect her from school and go for a hot chocolate on the way home? It's not self pitty, it's bloomin hard < for you.

Oh arse, sorry. Ed Sherran was fantastic! The arsing hotel was crap though, fucking students screaming their heads off until 6am! That's the last time I do budget hotels! It's the Savoy next.

Thank you Solo I still think I'm lucky in a way that I don't have to deal with arsehole exes that play with your emotions and make you life hard etc. I think you guys on here do amazingly well with dealing with these exes and also are good parents to your dc.

I have a brother who lives 30mins away and another Dbro and SiL who live 2 hours away, all of them have given me amazing support, so I'm very lucky and honestly I don't know what I would do without them. (I'm NC with my other brother and SIL, DDad is dead and Dmum is in a rest home two hours away). I'm sorry to hear about your elderly neighbour, it's certainly not selfish to worry

Hello Lady, It's normally ok 2-3 weeks of the month that I can finish at 5ish but it's one week where I work all hours godsends, lucky my job is flexible so I can collect DD if she is unable to walk (crap public transport here). It would be hard to cut down my hours in my job and tbh I can't really afford it. Feel your pain on budget Hotels! I haven't been in one in years.

lady we should all go to the Savoy . I quite like Premier Inn's though, they even rustled up gluten free toast when we stayed in the summer.

1999 really sorry to hear about your DH. Welcome though, we can all have a nice grumble on LP threads.

Half term next week. What is everyone up to? I'm only working one day then we'll have a day out and we're meeting up with friends on another day.

Premier inn was better. We stayed in one in London over the summer and they refunded the room as the person in the room next door kept the aircon on all night and all I could hear was 'hmmmmmmmmmm'.

Might stay in the Savoy next time Ds gets 2 weeks for half tern so that will be his second week. I'm working, sadly.

Oooh slowwww thread! how is everyone? what have you been up to?

I am trying to get my house straight. I've got so much work to get done here on the house and it's just not getting done!!

Hey Solo, I'm a London-based single mum with no single mum friends too. Am also an "older mother" (to DS, 6 and DD, 4). If anyone else here is in London (especially east) I would love to meet up. We can be moany old bints together!

what I wouldn't give right now for a lovely romantic hunky guy to give me a good sensuous all over my body massage!!!

Im aching all over (disability wise and hard work wise).

wish someone would be around sometimes to run a bath for me (we don't even have that, we only have a shower in our place!)

and make dinner while I soak for a bit and not worry about DC (who with her autism needs constant non stop watching).

and then give me amassive cuddle and tell me everything will be okay! and that Im worth something.

and that im beautiful and lovely (hed have to be blind though!)

instead of feeling worthless and useless and billy no mates and a failure.

Hi warm :) I'm not so far away from you really. For now, just feel free to moan or not on here!

Tardis I know!!! I have been very busy for a few days and I ache so much!!!

Now listen here Tardis . How can we possibly expect other people to see our beauty if we ourselves drag us down?! A bit of positivity is a good thing and can show itself on our very own faces imo. So no more self deprecation please! only bigging yourself up! Right? I said right?!! :) tell yourself good things about you and you might actually see they are true!

Solo .

DC had a major meltdown today and I mhave a sprained left wrist, mahoosive bruises on arms and legs (from her punching and shes got the strength of Samson) and a black eye.

and I have to deal with the autistic meltdowns alone.

'services' are fecking useless even though a couple of times ive ended up in hospital with injuries (Im not accusing DC of assault, she cant help it and has no awareness shes hurting me).

we were both also abused by exH and shes repeating his phychotic behaviour inherited from him, and I really don't need any more bruises/broken anything after being with a brute for a couple of years doing this.

sorry, just spilled my heart out then but im really down about this and having to cope with all this on my own.