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Original poster

he wants ds one week on and one week off.

29 replies

jellyjelly · 06/07/2006 19:33

Posted on relationships as well.

x shithead of a partner has decided that he wants ds who is 3.5 one week on one week off. I really do not want this as i think it will upset ds and i dont think he is ready to meet the other woman as one minute we are getting married then daddy is naughty then not here.
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OP posts:
LFV · 06/07/2006 20:13

Hi Jelly

I had a similar situation with my ex when we first split 3 years ago (my DS was 1.5 at the time), it turned out to be a mixture of guilt on his part and a way of having a go at me. I would say from experience that the least upsetting way around it is to do one weekend on and one weekend off, during the week routine is needed so much more than a weekend and i agree that your DS would be confused and upset by it. Try and see if he'll agree the weekend thing. Keep your faith, I promise it really does get easier over time x
(hugs)

Original poster
jellyjelly · 06/07/2006 20:18

he wants weeks not w/ends

OP posts:
LFV · 06/07/2006 20:36

sorry if my post wasn't clear, i realise you you meant he wants weeks but I'd stick to your guns and make him understand how upsetting this will be, does he not have your Son's best interest at heart or is he just playing silly buggers? Have you thought about getting the access sorted out legally if he isn;t going to play fair? Sorry if i'm not helping much

essbee · 06/07/2006 20:53

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Original poster
jellyjelly · 06/07/2006 21:05

Why doesnt he have to pay mantanence if 5050? Hadnt heard that one before. I would be a bit worried about him drink driving even though he says he wouldnt as he drinks every lunch time and every evening and he hardly ever used to come home in time for his bed.

OP posts:
essbee · 06/07/2006 21:48

Message withdrawn

Original poster
jellyjelly · 06/07/2006 21:56

He hasnt got a license at the moment but will put in for the test soon. He always said he wouldnt drink drive but he always used to go to the pub every lunch time and after work and i dont see it changing as he done it so often while we were together which was almost 5 yrs so cant see him changing.

OP posts:
Original poster
jellyjelly · 06/07/2006 21:56

Sounds like i am over reacting but i am not atall. I dont know what he is capable of, i also dont trust him at all.

OP posts:
essbee · 06/07/2006 21:57

Message withdrawn

Original poster
jellyjelly · 06/07/2006 21:58

He has had many a lesson after a big night out. Wouldnt put it past him and he is only a couple of weeks away from a pass.

OP posts:
essbee · 06/07/2006 21:58

Message withdrawn

Original poster
jellyjelly · 06/07/2006 21:59

when he has a license it will be a real risk. Alot of people have noticed how much time he spends in the pub drinking.

OP posts:
Original poster
jellyjelly · 06/07/2006 22:02

off to bed now, if you can think of anything else it would be good.

OP posts:
essbee · 06/07/2006 22:05

Message withdrawn

quentin · 06/07/2006 22:11

Just say no, it won't be possible. Get yourself a solicitor if you haven't already and make it clear to them that he has an alcohol problem and you have grave concerns about his ability to care for your ds.

SenoraPostrophe · 06/07/2006 22:15

Surely it's a bit soon to say that he'll drink drive?

but anyway - don't underestimate children. they can adapt. I realise you don't want to do alternate weeks, but if you have to do them I don't think it'll damage your ds. remember that just because he was a shit to you doesn't mean he'll be a shit to - or a danger to - your ds.

rickman · 06/07/2006 22:20

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SenoraPostrophe · 06/07/2006 22:23

no, but then dh wouldn't be happy to see them on alternate weekends only either. relationship breakdown is rarely happy.

rickman · 06/07/2006 22:27

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Caligula · 06/07/2006 22:31

I think the issue here is that it sounds like the ex will be half-pissed most of the time he'll be "looking after" the child. I woudldn't leave my children in the care of someone I knew was going to be drunk and/ or hungover all the time he was in charge of them.

Unless you think he's dramatically cut down on drinking, jellyjelly?

rickman · 06/07/2006 22:34

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Original poster
jellyjelly · 07/07/2006 07:33

Bearing in mind he spent the last few days in the pub as per usual and took several lots of £200 pounds out and said he was going to the pub and did for many days after the split. I didnt expect anything else though.

OP posts:
essbee · 07/07/2006 17:18

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Original poster
jellyjelly · 07/07/2006 17:20

YES I MOVED my app for a sooner date still next friday but better. From what i have told people they dont think he has a hope and i found out that i should be able to get a mortgage which is fab and i feel like celebrating.

OP posts:
essbee · 07/07/2006 17:35

Message withdrawn