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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

Single parent successes!

72 replies

Piemother · 06/01/2013 21:29

I have just parked outside my house in a space so small I had to stop myself taking a photo as evidence. When I was married I couldn't park for toffee. Mostly because exh did it for me. Now I can reverse park like a boss!

What can you do as a lp that you thought you couldn't?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Numberlock · 06/01/2013 21:30

Like it pie. Good for you. Mine is sorting out my pension which I finally did last year.

Who needs a man?

Meglet · 06/01/2013 21:33

hmm, I know there's a few. I'll have a think!

ninah · 06/01/2013 21:34

I have taken the dc on camping hols and retrained as a teacher still crap at parking though

bunchamunchycrunchycarrots · 06/01/2013 21:36

This year I had Xmas day with just me and DD, and it was fab. I have had a fear of spending such a big day alone, being too boring but the whole 2 weeks over Xmas has been such a lovely time for both of us. We have argued loads but overall I think I've realised that lil' old me is enough for DD. And i can do this without anyone's help whatsoever which is lucky seeing as no one actually does help out And I'm bloody brilliant at parking too 16 years of on street parking with not enough space to go round means I got that nailed too.

MavisGrind · 06/01/2013 21:36

Well done pie there's never any fucker about to appreciate awesome parking

Mine is renovate a whole house (in a ripping out the interior and starting again with practically everything) by both project managing the trades and doing an awful lot myself.

I do however still have trouble opening some jam jars though (hands not big enough)...

FannyBazaar · 06/01/2013 21:44

One day when I thought I was coping remarkably well, I came across a jar I couldn't open. Ex always undid the new jars. I googled, solved the problem and have never looked back . MavisGrind have a google, there are many different solutions and it's very empowering.

Imagine being such a useless tw*t as to only be missed for your ability to open jars...

I'm also pretty hot with the electric drill which I never liked to touch before.

ninah · 06/01/2013 21:47

oh yeah buncha, I did the xmas just me and dc thing too this year for the first time, it was great!
one of my proudest was fixing my washing machine via google

FannyBazaar · 06/01/2013 21:54

Oooh ninah, I've google fixed the washing machine too. Not something ex would ever have done, he'd've looked at it, pushed it, tutted and said it could only possibly be fixed by an engineer. I probably would have taken his word for it because he would have tried to make it sound like he actually knew something about washing machines...

Original poster

Piemother · 06/01/2013 22:07

I totally forgot I repaired my vacuum cleaner the other day. Ex would have broken it more

Love all these! I have lots of anger and resentment but I think I need to remind must much more often that I am strong! Figuratively and literally

OP posts:

MagicHouse · 06/01/2013 22:24

Sorted out the internet connection when it went down for some strange reason (that actually involved lots of turning things off and on, and pulling out/ pushing back in bits at the back - very untechnical, but it worked!!!!) .... changed the tiny lightbulbs in the oven, put together some of the flatpack furntiture I got singlehandedly (including a massive wardrobe and double bed!!), fixed a bit of the vacuum cleaner when it broke....little things I guess, but satisfying

SuperGlumFairy · 06/01/2013 22:39

Where do I start? I packed a 4 bedroom house in Australia and moved to the UK with my 3 kids, booked all the flights myself as well, set up household bills, bank accounts, organised schools for the kids, did all the benefits paperwork, I did a whole proper Xmas with the kids which even involved lugging a 6ft Xmas tree home on the bus as I don't drive, I bought a fridge and washing machine, I hooked up a TV player to a media player/hard drive DVD recorder, set up my PC including internet (EX was the IT Guru in our household), put together a flat packed dining table and chairs, changed light bulbs, taken the kids on numerous days out....and all this from a woman who was so overwhelmed with anxiety for the last 3 years that I barely left the house. Didn't go to movies, or out to dinner with friends, never got on a bus, too scared to ring and order a pizza even! Look at me now! Wheeeeee!! I feel like the one thing I forgot to pack when we moved was my anxiety..and it's back in Australia.

TheFollyfootandtheivy · 06/01/2013 22:41

I fitted a loft ladder all on my own - that was so satisfying. It felt like a proper triumph.

Lookingatclaus · 06/01/2013 22:41

I bought a car, haggled and everything!

Sorted the electrics out when the lights kept fusing.

Went on a camping holiday twice, loaded and unloaded the campervan with the tent, all the equipment and surfboards - it all went in first time and on the way home. It had never done that with xh and apparently was all my fault!!

And a parking one! I reverse parked the campervan into a tight space at the end of a very small car park in a very busy part of Newquay with several young surfers looking on. Without even thinking about it.

NoNoNoMYDoIt · 06/01/2013 22:44

mavis - put a knife under the edge of the lid and lift to break the seal. Never fails!

Lookingatclaus · 06/01/2013 22:46

That is just brilliant superglumfairy. I I think you need a name change to super fairy!

Original poster

Piemother · 06/01/2013 22:49

Superglum that's amazing you rock!

Tiny lightbulbs in the oven you say....that's my next challenge

I let exh do all the finances because I thought I was rubbish with money. Au contraire! I know exactly what's going on with my money and the dcs and I live well on a reduced income and actually I now think maybe he wasn't so good after all.

Lots of people say things in a well meant way to me like 'oh it must be so hard on your own with the dc - I don't know how you do it - I couldn't do it!' And I privately think 'man up!!'

OP posts:

SuperGlumFairy · 06/01/2013 22:51

Lookingatclaus - Yes I had been thinking I needed a name change here as SuperGlum I am not anymore, was when I first joined here though, thought my life was over only to find it was just beginning. Tomorrow is 12 months to the day he left, it's been a shite year..but I am still here and stronger than ever before, and have the love and company of my kids...what else do I need? Not another man that's for sure. So inspired reading everyone's successes here though.
Learning to drive is on my list to do..so I shall have a parking story too in the future I hope ;)

Original poster

Piemother · 06/01/2013 22:52

I also haggled and bought a car. Car salesman made some sexist comment about a woman buying a car on her own so I told him exh took the car and I didn't have a choice. So he told me his life story all about his recent divorce etc etc and then took more money off and did the service/mot for free. Ha

OP posts:

Letsmakecookies · 07/01/2013 08:08

Fab!

I know that feeling of having so much anxiety you can't do anything. Then realising how much better you are than the men that left, at most things! My ex was "in charge" of finances and was beyond terrible at it, very entitled - spending made no difference if we didn't have enough money to cover the cost. He left with so much personal credit card debt. I live on pennies and am so much better off, and he had a great salary. It makes me laugh as I wasn't allowed a look in during our marriage. I can set up the IT things fairly easily and never did that before, and it somehow doesn't take billions of hours and wires to get sorted (ex works with IT too). All in all, am getting more confident at making decisions and doing things. 2013 is going to be a good year!

Foxy800 · 07/01/2013 08:52

For me it is a lottle thing of going up into thr loft, i have a real fear of going up there and ex dp always used to do it but before christmas i did it myself!!!

MagicHouse · 07/01/2013 21:50

Lol at the tiny lightbulbs challenge! The hardest part was getting the little plastic cover off!! I know it's tiny things, but I was always one of those people who'd wave my hands in the air unable to cope if the slightest thing went wrong! I feel really proud now at managing to do every single thing without batting an eyelid!! Superglumfairy, what a lovely story, hope your anxiety stays on the other side of the world

MonetsGardens · 07/01/2013 23:14

God the list is too long to mention. I was so horribly controlled and abused by my Ex that I didn't think I could do 'anything'. Now I work, run a house, buy cars, book holidays, have a social life and dance to county and western music in my living room

Teddimac · 08/01/2013 00:17

Respect Superglum, and what a great thread!

I was always happy to do all the practical and financial stuff, but had a bit of a phobia about driving and felt really anxious about having to reverse park in our busy street. Now the DC do this face as I congratulate myself yet again for squeezing into the tightest spots without hesitation! I've also driven from London all the way to NE Scotland and back a couple of times with just the kids in tow - was scared sh*tless the first time, but it felt great to no longer be limiting myself by thinking I couldn't do something without ExH.

OnTheBottomWithAStringOfTinsel · 08/01/2013 00:34

DD's dad has never been around so here's my list!

Bought, renovated & decorated my own house (I can tile, paint, lay wood floors & omg I'm the flat pack queen!)

Have also dug up the garden and laid a mini patio and paths. I googled how to bleed rads and top up the water pressure in the central heating a few weeks ago (thanks YouTube) and did that meself (was afraid of having to pay couldn't afford it £50 to a plumber)

Self suffiency is such a good feeling...

OnTheBottomWithAStringOfTinsel · 08/01/2013 00:35

Sufficiency - apologies for appalling spelling

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