Facing pregnancy alone?

[thedogsrolex]

There seem to be quite a few threads lately posted by women facing pregnancy alone for whatever reason. I was thinking maybe it would be a good idea to have one ongoing thread for support and advice...what do you think? I know it would have helped me way back when I had dd? (apologies if there is already one, I haven't come across it).

Pickles i loved that post!!!

Made me LAUGH. Guess karma comes back around cos im the one thats hurting now...Pickles daddy maybe?

Skye that made me also laugh, i hope pickles baby goes the toys instead!!!!

Much as I love to hear your updates, Pickles - please don't feel you have to spend all your time updating us; make sure you get some serious sleep when BabyPickles is catching some zzz's.

Had to laugh at PicklesDog; a friend of mine once had to wrestle her DS away from the dog food bowl whilst her pooch sat all mournfully watching said DS munching on dog biscuits. She also used to find the dog a useful 'hoover' for anything DS dropped from the high chair. :)

How's everyone else?

Pickles - thats not fair teasing us like that! I demand details on said karma!!

lol

glad to know it does. just hoping it hits my twunt soon, although he seems to have had a personality transplant and is suddenly being Mr Reasonable....

Thanks guys for all tour help and support, notgeoff your right, it's all catching up on me a bit now even though I love it, im going to take a easy few days adjusting now we are home,
Please don't be offended if I'm not on here much xxx

hey, no apology necessary, you need to put picklesbaby first. Can I PM you for the name?? Im dying to know?!

get plenty of rest, eat well and drink lots if you are bf. really take it easy and dont worry about us, although of course we will always be thrilled for an update.

look after yourself

We won't go completely I need you lot!! Of course you can pm x

Hello all,

How is everyone?

Glad pickles and baby getting some rest. Sounds like you're doing great!!

I'm struggling with Ex-p!!! After being supportive he's now saying he wants no part again and then he says he didn't mean it!!! It's like being on an emotional yoyo!!

I just settle that things are going to be one way and then he u turns!!

Now he says we can get baby stuff on Sunday! Am I wrong to demand he makes a choice and sticks to it?! xx

Flumpy - he sounds as though he is either very mixed up, or just playing games. I think you do need to give him an ultimatum, but that means that you have to be prepared for him to walk away.

You don't need to be messed about at the moment - stress will not be beneficial to you. So you need to know one way or the other in order to adjust and move on. x

Hi

I'm totally prepared for him to walk away but I'm by prepared for me or his DD to be messed around like this.
He says his issue is not with being part of her life but with being part of mine. I'm totally confused as this is the same person who held my hand and rubbed my back trough pre term labour earlier this week.

I still have such low self confidence tag I find myself looking for a reason why he's being this way and wondering how it's my fault.

Part of me says just ride the waves and go and get baby things tomorrow and the other part says walk away! xx

Flumps, you'll prob get great advice here too
Can you believe massive bouquet of flowers turned up from 'the Grandparents' with a card asking if they can visit!!!!

From his parents?? Amazing! xx

Well pickles after all what was said and done i personally wouldn't but its up to you!

Shame they wasn't there when you needed help/support.

flumpy He is just playing games, i would just leave him to it(easier said than done)

If he wants to be there he will.

My ex said he would get this and that always help me, he hasnt.

I found out that he went shopping and bought a £200+ top and £100+ trouses and booked a hotel AND went out drinking. So thats at least £500 pound.

Some men boys are just bastards, when my son is born i bet he will want to see him, i will just laugh in his face all hes put me through has made me stronger.

Im not the type to hold grudges or be spiteful but with him i am, hes no good and waste of oxygen.

Id write down all the stuff hes done and he hasn't and weigh it up.

Sometimes i feel like screaming, why would anyone want role models like these men? Being a father is a role model in my eyes and if my son ever turned out like him.

I would have failed as his mother!!

Hi Pickles. It is up to you, but it would be nicer for your DD to have contact with her grandparents as she grows up.. Maybe invite them over to see her, or meet at a neutral place for a coffee, and just remain civil. I know that its difficult, but if you can be the bigger person, you will have a bigger support network in the future. You could build a relationship with them possibly even if you cant have a relationship with their son.

Flumpy. I think you need to make plans as a single parent, take advantage of whatever help he offers as and when, but do not read any more into it and do not change plans etc to suit him

Skye - you have put it all so much better than me! :)

That's exactly what I'm going to do, dd deserves that x

Pickles - I think you're definitely doing the right thing and are very brave. I would dread ex-p's family being in contact after DD is born but luckily I would lay money on the fact they won't be.

Eugh I feel so rubbish today, I've vegged all day and feel pretty unwell. He's supposed to come tomorrow but I told him earlier that we need to have a conversation before hand, I find it easier to discuss difficulties over the phone but unfortunately I think he finds it easier face to face. We literally don't agree on anything anymore!!
I've stopped missing him and the relationship and now I'm just full of frustration at his lack of help! Why do men always say they're going to do things and then not?? He heard the consultant say I need to take it easy and he needed to help more! I wish he understood that being a dad started now in making sure she comes into the world healthy!!

Sorry, rant over, I'm probably just hormonal x

Hi Flumpy, feeling just like you today if it is any help - misery loves company and all that. I think I am coming down with something. Feel achey all over, headache and just want to burst into tears at the drop of a hat. Also really frustrated with everything and worried about how things will be after the birth...will he start interfering or will he leave me to it? At least you are able to speak to yours, mine wont talk to me...although I did end up caving and sending me my new number last week and he responded thanks! But never once asked me how the pregnancy is going :( Had my hair done the other day and turned out the owner of the salons had kids where the dad had left at birth. She met someone new when her boy was 2 years old and he calls that man dad and the other sperm donor. She was as happy as larry...so hopefully good things to come. Just a shame that these 'men' have to put us through so much stress while we should be allowed to take it easy.

Hey

Poor you :-( sounds v similar. He wouldn't speak to me for a week when he first left and then for a further 3 weeks recently. And he threatens me constantly with cutting contact and not being part of her life. He totally emotionally blackmails me and holds all the cards. He knows I have to sing to his tune whilst I'm in a house that he pays for that I can't get out of!!

His answer to everything is running away and sending the dog to the RSPCA! I have absolutely no idea who he is anymore and find it so ironic that he's actually contacted charities accusing me of emotionally abusing him!! I suppose this is normal behaviour that he's currently displaying???

Thy need to paint us as black as they can and convince themselves we're awful in order to justify what they've done!

Pickles is doing just great and I know we will too. I just wish she was here now to cuddle and take care of and make all this crap seem insignificant!

Big hugs to you! Let's hope tomorrow is a better day. He never asks about me or baby either so they're all the same!

God I wish I didn't have to see him xx

After having dd and ex being so lovely and positive and giving me hope. He drops a bombshell tonight. He's been with someone else, someone I know, since June.
I'm such a fool, all those times I tried to get him back, all that hope he gave me in three days.
I know what you will all say.,, and I know your right. I just collapsed on the floor at my parents.
At least I have the baby. No dignity, but a baby

Nothing I can say will make you feel better or take the pain away but you know what? The only way is up hunny and you're on your way. You and your gorgeous girl.

You're a fabulous mummy, doing great and all by yourself!! How amazing is that?!

He is the lowest of the low to behave that way. Don't give him a second thought. You will pick yourself up and it will get easier and when the time is right there will be a man ready to envelop you and DD into his arms.

One day at a time. Today was a bad day but tomorrow will be a little easier. Don't look back and feel like a fool, look forward and feel like a survivor. You're stronger than you believe and better than all of this.

Biggest hugs xxxx

Pickles - this changes nothing. You knew he was a useless idiot before he told you that. He has been nasty to you and you know why.

And this is why everybody tells you not to chase him, not to text him etc, as they all know what it's like, having been there.

DD is bringing so much love and happiness into your life , that is all that you need for now. He is missing out but that his his choice.

You will be fine. Concentrate on DD

xxxx

Thanks flumps xx

Thanks Skye x

I just have this image in my head

Pickles that must've been a nasty shock, but really, what they've been saying above.

I really hope this isn't going to be a thread where another chutney-stealer is exposed.

Just focus on YOU. You and baby Pickles.
And don't look back - you're not headed that way. You are headed onwards, and upwards.