Facing pregnancy alone?

[thedogsrolex]

There seem to be quite a few threads lately posted by women facing pregnancy alone for whatever reason. I was thinking maybe it would be a good idea to have one ongoing thread for support and advice...what do you think? I know it would have helped me way back when I had dd? (apologies if there is already one, I haven't come across it).

I love them so yummy..

I feel i have been pregnant all year(i have apart 2 months) but its realllyyyyyyy dragging.

I cant wait until single digit number weeks lol. How exciting!!!!!!!!!!! She could come any time now

Okay notgeoff i like those too. Umm i love coco chocolate its so yummy. Also like american chocolate, use to go TGI fridays a lot with 'it'. I love it there i eat so little much.

Brownies too i love, laying in bed with £ on the side thinking about domineo's.

Why me?

Glad to hear you have a diagnosis pickles. Enforced rest and after eights sound perfect. I hope your dog had a lovely birthday :)
Angelelle, sounds like a very good step consulting a solicitor.
Xmasevebundle, I really need to follow your lead. I am due in 29 days and I don't have a single nappy! I do have a big list of things to buy though. I have my 36 week scan where they will give me green light for home birth so once that is done, it's time to start getting the rest of what I need.
I realise I have actually been pregnant all year. Since 2nd or 3rd jan anyway. It has been a surreal year!
Notgeoffvader my friends brought over g&b burnt toffee on monday. It is the best chocolate I have ever had!
Good news on your son's internship jellykat :)
I am having a good week really - work good, joined local gym for last month as no more running outside but means I can still potter around on the bike etc.
Then got midwife today, scan tomorrow, first doula ante-natal session friday and home birth midwife assessment Tuesday! It is starting to feel very real
Hope wednesday is good to you all

Hello everyone, I hope no one minds me posting. I haven't read all the thread but I am 18 weeks pregnant with dc4 and a single parent since ex and I split up. We split up before I realised I was pregnant and now his family are demanding dna tests before they will accept the baby is his. We already have a child together (and I have 2 of my own) and ex was vile when I was pregnant with him (although adores him now) and used to tell me he wished he could kick me in the stomach or throw me down the stairs to get rid of the baby.

This time round he hasn't said much, he thinks his life is ruined but isnt really involved in the pregnancy as he isn't convinced he is the father. He still seems to think he can insist on the baby having his surname and being there at the birth though. I keep thinking really petty things like I won't allow his family round to see the baby when it's born and as ex won't be taking the baby anywhere without me then they won't get to see him or her etc or of getting the DNA results and framing them and presenting them with it.

I feel quite detached from this pregnancy, I have a 14 month old who is 'my baby' and needs a lot of my time and attention. The weeks are flying by so quickly. I have been to all my scans and appointments alone and it gets me down a bit. I'm scared of how I will cope, that no one will ever want me again with 4 children, that I'll be lonely forever.

I haven't told many people yet, Im not showing or anything so it's quite easy to hide.

Mammy sorry to hear your ex is being vile. I suppose you need to decide whether or not you want him involved, but seeing as you already have a DC together, you probably are not going to have much choice, as I presume he would wish to maintain contact.

Please don't think nobody will ever want you again with 4 DCs. A very attractive bubbly acquaintance of mine is newly single with 5 Dcs - I can't imagine she'll be "on the shelf" long. In her case, it was a harmonious split, which is something positive.

Everyone - please tell me - what is it about these men that are so 'Jeckyll and Hyde'? One minute they're all nice as pie, then the moment things don't go their way, they turn into aggressive, boorish, unpleasant (and sometimes violent) arses?

Polly sounds as though you have a great action plan there. :)

In case anyone still needs nappies, Tesco are STILL selling off Pampers 'Team GB' ones far cheaper than any of the others.

Back to chat later, but got to go and get dressed as the shopping is due to be delivered shortly, and I really don't want to be in my PJ's when it arrives. :)

Mammytomany that sounds really tough. It's hard to know what to say, but if his family are being horrible to you and he is disputing parentage then I would not be having conversations about him either being at the birth or on the birth certificate. Right now I think you should focus on yourself, this baby and your other kids, not him and his family. Have you got a sibling or a friend who could come with you to scans etc for support?

And as NotGeoffVader says, having 4 kids in no way means you'll be alone forever, though I kind of know what you mean. I will only have one but I can't imagine meeting anyone or having a relationship again either!

But actually, I am sure we both will if we want to.

Sending you lots of hugs.

Good morning everyone,

hi mammy glad to see you found us.
Hope everyone is okay, I just woke up so not too chatty.
notgeoff you have me craving that chocolate now.
polly you sound ever so organised.

Just so everyone knows should you need more nappies (before Xmas causes a nappy drought ) asda have a baby event on too

Oh god Pickles, I was just sat here thinking how disorganised I am! I haven't bought any of my crucial baby stuff (eg nappies!), not got the first clue about packing a hospital bag (although am hoping for a homebirth). I've been given handmedown baby clothes, but not enough. I really do need to get on it. 29 days and counting, tick, tock....

What is an asda baby event?

Well you sound like you have a plan.

It's where all the baby stuff is cheaper and on offer more than normal in asda, great way to save money

We bought a high hair for £15 at Asda baby event, it was way cheaper than normal. I still get excited when I see it's on and she's four now, lol.

pickles has news. Twunt wants to meet me somewhere halfway next week.
picklesdog says no chance.
I asked why, he said 'we best meet before its born'

really. Before it is born. Thats nice isnt it. You can meet at a lovely motorway services and drink shit tea and talk about it.

Tell him to fuck off. Tell him that you are pregnant, with not many weeks to go, that you are ill and on rest. Tell him that if he wants to meet you, he comes to the house at a time when somebody can be with you (if thats what you want).

He cannot expect you to meet him half way there to discuss HER.

What a twunt. Sorry, but I am really angry on your behalf

skye you are mystic meg! That's what I was going to post but thought I should seek opinions first,
I am not angry- I am livid.
I am livid because he calls her: IT.
No other reason.
She is my daughter, I was a five week old baby by now so she is very much not an IT.

I am livid too on your behalf. It is your choice if you see him or not obviously. I think maybe you should as he does have a responsibility to your DD, but on what terms is obviously up to you. I do think that you should have your mum or dad with you or a friend (somebody fairly calm to kind of mediate, so that he cant railroad or intimidate you).

But remember - you owe him nothing after the way he has treated you and it your DD.

Oh i won't be alone. I'll see what he has to say, told him to plan something let me know and I'll decide. It's probably aload of bollocks anyway.
I shall not let it affect my progress or anything as I am resting

Hope you've had a good day x

All this baby talk i like
polly I love nappies even the smell, loads of cheap nappies around now! Asda do some great deals at the moment.

Got my mum a willow tree thing she likes and some perfume from boots. Ones from me and bump. Even got a nanny card for her i am excited to see her face. Wanted a scan photo card for her but only thought of it yesterday. Spent all my money. Had my hair cut and feel ££££ going to get highlights in.

mammy i am sure you will be fine, let him do a DNA he will pay to pay for it and sit back and laugh when it its his welcome though. Maybe he should get kicked down the stairs!! What a bastard, sorry that had to be said.

Oh pickles picklesdog has more brain cells than HIM. I think he needs fall on his head to maybe knock sense in him. If that was me i would be! &%*?±?. He makes me sick.

Keep angry, Pickles, it's a useful energy. Up to you if you want to meet him but I'd suggest making it somewhere neutral (doesn't have to be too far from you), and have someone with you. Given that he is referring to the baby as 'it', that doesn't bode well.

I'm off to sort out putting DD to bed. She didn't want her teeth cleaned and nearly passed out, so she's off to bed with dirty teeth. And I am feeling woozy as I banged my head really hard earlier. And I want my dinner! :(

Shall sit and watch Who do you think you are with some comfort food and possibly a glass of wine. But then again, I might pass out!

I agree with NotGeoffVader - keep it neutral if you meet him at all. With so little time to go before the birth, I would almost ask if it's worth it at this stage, but I don't know. Just don't let him make you feel stressed if that's at all possible.
xx

I dont think ill be going anywhere to be honest, im out off puff going around the block now!
Hows the head Not Geoff?
How are you doing polly? :) x

I am ok thanks Pickles! Had my 36 week scan and placenta has moved, yay, but baby in a crumpled transverse heap, boo, so not really sure what that means for homebirth but guess there's no more slouching on the sofa and lots of being on my hands and knees in an attempt to encourage him or her to fix up and get into the right position!
Then I met a friend and her baby for lunch then another friend came over and helped me do the third coat of paint in my spare room and I polished off most of a large bar of green and blacks burnt toffee chocolate so feeling slightly sick now.
Off out for dinner tonight with another friend who has just split up from her husband and has a 2 year old.
Hope you've had a good day and you are feeling better than you did earlier in the week.

How are you feeling today notgeoffvader?

Finally bought some nappies with your encouragement xmasevebundle!

Wow you've had a busy day! I'm barely moving apart from dog walking.
Have u got a birthing ball? I love mine so comfy!
Feeling much better thanks, been looking into swaddling/sleeping bags today

Mum is wondering if I glam up, go and meet him and not give a shit? Give him the info on PR, REgistering her birth without him and the info on csa?

Give him NO info on on PR hes an adult and if hes that bothered he will look into it!

Im going to not going to register with him either there.

Give him no info on CSA either, it will piss him off even more if you dont tell him(not like its about that)

Yes dress to impress, if he says you look nice id say a plain. Thanks. LOL

Good idea

Id tell him nothing as he will be more prepared!!!

I bet he will turn up sloppy, dont OTT it but look very nice and happy. Show him what he is MISSING.

If I go...