Facing pregnancy alone?

[thedogsrolex]

There seem to be quite a few threads lately posted by women facing pregnancy alone for whatever reason. I was thinking maybe it would be a good idea to have one ongoing thread for support and advice...what do you think? I know it would have helped me way back when I had dd? (apologies if there is already one, I haven't come across it).

Not too bad, stopped being sick now thankfully. Had a mad cleaning day, walked the dog for hours, got bad back ache now so laying down now

Glad the sickness has stopped :) he is a pamperd pet isnt he!!

Im in bed too

Very spoilt!
Ex said he wanted to call me to tonight and discuss things properly. Why I gave him the chance I don't know. Never rang anyway.

:) i do love JR they are so cute, i do miss my little dog :(.

Oh what a... I'd change your number i did, 2nd best thing i've done. 1st, dumping him.

You are and so much better off without him, seem more happy and not as much sad, if you no what i mean.

It's a good job I didn't get hopeful! Lol means nothing anyway. Was just intrigued

Pickles - By discuss things properly I hope he means that and isnt just going to tell you AGAIN how you have made a huge mistake and ruined his life!

and then he didnt ring anyway

I don't think he was going to do that skye that would require a severe personality transplant, plus a brain transplant & a large miracle

feeling bit brighter again today, trying to remind myself why Im better off with a twat like that.

Pickles and Skye - you are both sounding so much more upbeat today. I notice that you're really focusing on the good points.

Xmas I love that you looked good, and that the baby kicked in displeasure! :)

I can only apologise again for not being around today. We were back on the DIY blast and had to disconnect the computer to move it, so no internet until 10 mins ago. Best bit by far was when the floor was covered with books as we had to empty two bookcases to take them away....and replace them, and put all the books back. I got rid of loads, but the new bookcases are already full :(

If anyone on this thread wants a book called "The social baby" let me know. It's a slightly hippyish book, but covers communicating with your baby at a very early stage, so that you can work out what he/she is crying for, when he/she is bored, or overstimulated, etc. Found it very useful, but I don't need it now.

Just going to have a quick flick round the site, check my fb and I'm done for the night. Sweet dreams all.

notgeoff That's why i do it, i want to look nice when i go out.

He lives around the corner so i just a matter of time. I think that was i needed!!

Had a busy day to had the job centre at 1 then went town had a big mac meal, sniffed a few perfumes( new me, new scent) I really like Marc jacobs dot, his new one. Treating myself.

Went to bingo needed 1 number for £200, i was getting so anxious and excited!! Went to shop saw the thing snuggled up in bed and at 11pm i wanted chicken tikka pie with chips and gravy so....

A busy day!!! What books do you like reading?

I like real life books, get sunk into them.
Some of the books and the abuse still make me think WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?

I am amazed at serial killers, what brings them to kill. Ted bundy, Jeffery dahmer and John wayne gacy etc!!!

I still am trying to find who the Zodic killer is lol.....

I read an awful lot, Xmas - some of the stuff is 'dry' - I have to read ecology/scientific books for my course.

I have recently read 'Rivers of London' by Ben Abramovitch (might have spelled that wrong) and really enjoyed it. I like historical fiction, and well-written stuff, and cleverly funny stuff. In a nutshell that means that my bookcase is stuffed with 'classics' like Thomas Hardy, Charles Dickens, Elizabeth Gaskell and Emile Zola as well as more recent authors like Philippa Gregory, Terry Pratchett and Joanne Harris.

Like you I am really interested in the motivation behind heinous acts but I often can't bring myself to read these things - too horrible!

I'm also dabbling in reading stuff about British History over the last 60-80 years as a background to the novel I intend to write.

Today is a 'go to the library' day as I have a book to take back ('The Mechanical Messiah and other marvels of the modern age' by Robert Rankin), and several to pick up. Then it's time for heavily supervised play for DD as the lounge is still in a pretty child-unfriendly state.

At the moment one of my neighbours is having some work done - lots of drilling - hopefully it won't go on too long as it's very LOUD!

Hi, just checking in as I was posting a lot at the beginning and see that the thread has moved on massively, and thanks Pickles for getting in touch. I think I have just gone introvert and bracing myself for impending birth in a few weeks, yikes! Can't believe it is all happening. Seems like I have been getting worse emotionally again. Had an OK period for a few weeks and now just seem to be back at the beginning, also just found out ex has moved his gf into his flat after a few months which has just knocked me for six. Not that I thought we would get back together but I can't believe he is doing all this AND wont talk to me while I sit here about to give birth to his baby. It is hard to explain to others what the sadness is when everyone says, well he is just a complete twat. Yes he is but it is the denial that is so painful....you are carrying their child and they are going about their life as if you don't exist. I also think it is so unfair, I basically have had to leave my job 3 months early due to the fact that we were also colleagues for the past 3 years and he was pretty much psychologically torturing me while I was at work so I felt I had no other option for my sanity. As I then had no support from him I also left my flat and in the end the country to move back to my mums.

Sorry having massive moan here, just you know, feel like I have given up my job, my flat and my independence and going through the whole labour thing etc and he is getting shacked up with some new bird. It fucking hurts, excuse my french!

Well that is what is going on at the moment hence I have been silent, just dealing with things and trying to move on in my own way. Also worried about what he will do/say after birth. As he has refused to speak to me about anything practical during the entire pregnancy it is anyones guess what he plans to do! I changed my mobile nr today which feels empowering as I dont have to be anxious waiting for a nasty text!

Onwards and upwards, thankfully got wonderful family and friends for support :) Just the pain takes some time to go doesn't it? Also shitting myself about giving birth, ha ha.

xxx

notgeoff You do like your books!! Those books i walk past

I love history!! Most people look at me when i tell him, its amazing how they use to do things same as us but differently.

Had an arguemnt with a man once saying god made earth. I said we came from fish then evolved. He then said no and kept on.
He pissed me off so i told him, if god was real why is so many? He just looked at me.
He was about 50.. lol i was hormonal too!!

angelelle He sounds the typical twat, maybe theres a species of twats

I dont think he wants anything do with the baby and that hurts a lot. Good that you changed your number, he shouldn't be sending you texts like that its cruel and twisted.

This new gf, could be a jeremy kyle type... think of it like that!!

I like reading people's true life stories, biographies etc. I recently read War Horse and Jason Donovan's biography. I also like chick lit by Jill Mansell and Wendy Holden. I grew up reading Jilly Cooper , Virginia Andrews, Stephen King, James Herbert. I also love Sophie Kinsella. I've hot some classics as well, Vanity Fair, Tessof the D'urbervilles, Jane Eyre, Rebecca etc.

I'm going to reread some of my old books, maybe out them onto Kindle bit by bit as I can afford it. Free up some space in my house!

How we all doing today anyway? It's raining a lot here so I'm having a real lazy day while DD with her dad.

Hi there I'm just checking in too after ages. I'm sorry to hear how low you're feeling Angelelle. I understand how you feel about giving up everything to move back in with your mum. I left my ex and our wonderful (rented) house and my car and all my clothes and DD's toys to flee back to the UK in June. For a few weeks it was exciting, as I had proactively made a change. But now it is absolutely awful. I am basically homeless, and absolutely no one understands how hard things are for me. I've put my little DD through so much upheaval, and now I'm trying to frantically sort out somewhere for us to live for when the new baby is born in December. I'm lucky that I've got a job, but they were really angry when I turned up pregnant. They don't know I've separated from my husband and I haven't told anyone of the the whole story of having to break the law and flee the country in order to come back to the UK. They also don't know I'm now basically homeless. They can't fire me when I'm pregnant but it is really stressful, and not much of a security

I'm living with my sister, but it's not practical and I need to find a place for myself.

I think you mentioned you were going to do NCT. Is anyone doing that as a single parent? I want to make some friends, but I don't know if I can put myself through the smug couple hell.

Also, who is everyone getting to help them with the birth? I don't want anyone really, but I'm sure I will need some support.

Hi everyone sorry haven't been around for a few days.
angelle nice to see you are back. As bad as your down days are your still making progress. I know exactly how you feel.

summer good to see you back too. It sounds like your doing really well! And are nice and positive

skye ive been a busy bee went horse racing yesterday so it's a lazy day for me today now did you and DD have fun?

As for the reading I read lots too, currently reading a lot of dick Francis books but like you skye i love a good chic lit! Me before you by jojo moyes is a great book

Hi everyone

Summerinthesun, i swerved NCT.could't face it but luckily know quite a few people giving birth near me. I am having a doula for my birth and also my sister. I think the doula is a good idea though was quite expensive. But I feel like she will be my proper support and make sure I get the birth I want, if that's possible.

Angelelle, your ex sounds like a twat. Remember you are a thousand times the person he is.
A friend who broke up with her boyfriend just after she had her baby boy said to me whatever you do, don't put my ex's name on the birth cert. gives him rights apparently so he can tak your child abroad without telling you and it's not kidnap. I don't trust my ex so not going to take any risks, that's assuming he resurfaces and says he want to be on the birth cert! Hate the idea of saying father unknown when that is 't the case, but maybe lesser of 2 evils.
I love to read. Read and buy loads more now I have a kindle. Currently working my way through Edith Wharton. Going to download jonathan frantzen corrections as I read and loved freedom, and also the newish Jeffrey eugenides. Have to say I hate chick lit though I did use to love jilly cooper!

I am having a restful day today as managed to fall while out jogging yesterday and bashed the bump so was in a&e on the monitor for a few hours. All fine thank god, but my my knee and neck are killing me today. So no yoga, and maybe no painting of the spare room. I have a friend coming for lunch though which will be nice. I think I will stop running now, bit sad as have been enjoying it, but am nearly 36 weeks so time to rest up. So nearly there.

I had been having a few wobbles about the whole single mum thing but when I thought I might have damaged the baby yesterday, I was so gutted, made me realise how much I want him or her. Feeling excited about it again, and grateful

Hope you all enjoy your Sundays!

I also liked me before you pickles! X

Polly How are you doing after your fall?
I think we all have a few wobbles, but then you see a baby in a pram and melt. Its not our loss, we shall remember that!!
How are we everyone else? Weve gone a bit quiet!

Hope we are all ok today and have had an ok weekend. How are you Polly?

Hey Pickles and Skye. I am fine thanks. I was really shaken up, even yesterday, but feel fine today, and actually, more connected with the baby in a weird way. That horrible panic that I had done something serious and potentially lost him/her made me realise how much I want this.

Managed to paint the spare room too and while patchy, it doesn't look that bad, so that's made me feel :) too.

Another friend of mine who is also doing it alone has had her baby 3 weeks early. I can't believe it! Also makes it all feel real. Finally bought some bits for my baby and made a list of other things I need eg nappies and babygrows. One thing they said at the hospital is a fall can bring labour on early so I should get my bag packed. So got a bit to do this week!

I hope you've all had good weekends and are feeling ok.

Have you all joined the various "baby clubs"? Boots, Tesco, Sainsburys?

You get special offers and money off vouchers and Sainsburys do a great kit with a changing mat it, it's free with a pack of Huggies I think. You have to download a voucher via Sainsburys or Nectarcard? It's a great waterproof mat with pockets in it, great for when you are out and about.

Sign up online with Huggies, Pampers, Hipp, Aptimel, Cow and Gate, you can get money off vouchers and free gifts from all of them.

Glad you are okay polly
Have you had a nice weekend skye
I've joined loads of those clubs!
Sorry not been too chatty recently had bad morning sickness & now have a UTI. Very uncomfortable.

That's a good tip, I will do that. Thanks!
Sorry to hear you are feeling crap Pickles. Hope you feel better very soon xx