My xh phones every evening to speak to the kids. He always phones at v busy times like meal times and just before bed. Our 9 yr old rolls his eyes but speaks to him and the 2 & 3 yr old tend to run around with the phone babbling. Not meaning to be unfair but its really starting to piss me off. Calls are never just a quick goodnight they last 20mins +. I am in the meantime rushing about cooking or cleaning up keeping an eye on them or getting them bathed/settled for bed. After 30mins on the phone on Tues my x asked my son to install skype on my new computer at 8.40 so he could see him. I put my foot down and then x phoned me back and called me really unreasonable. The other 2 were in bed but my 9 yr old goes to bed at 8.30/9 on weeknights too. So I have suggested that we arrange times as kids have activities and eldest has hwork most nights. He screeched at me and hung up. He lives in the UK I moved to Ireland so he comes over twice a month and for 1/2 of school hols. I didn't think such frequent visits were sustainable but he has continued. He pretty much takes over my home when he comes as the kids are still young. Next visit is Saturday so I need to get it across to him that he cannot hang up and shout at me and then expect to just take over the house. He is v volatile. Also he cannot just phone when he needs to talk to them. I now make sure the kids lives go on as normal when he is around so that they don't miss out on parties and get too disrupted by his visits.
Obviously I want them to have regular contact with their dad but get the feeling that once more it is all about his needs.
I know it would be a lot worse if he wasn't interested in seeing them or talking to them but there must be a middle ground.
How do other people manage /communication/contact without huge dramas?