dumped cos i have 3 kids..........

[happyatlast]

oh yes you read right! I met someone two months ago, he was the one more into me, texting all the time, wanting to see me all the time. I had the conversation three weeks in that I had 3 children so if he wanted to date me casually or find someone who doesnt have kids so he can go out and have fun, as I pretty much always have one of my children with me. He was totally fine with this said he wanted to be with just me all the time.

Things were going well, he went to france for a week a couple of weeks ago, texting about 50 times a day, saying he cant stop thinking about me, never wants to go on holiday without me again, said he is falling in love with me etc....

Gets back from france last saturday, I had no kids so we went out for a meal, covered me with little kisses all over my face when he came to my door saying he has missed me so much etc....had a great night......

Next day he goes for lunch with his mum and sister.....hours later I am dumped.

Thats it....had no contact with him since apart from a text saying he has had a reality check and there is no way it could work me having 3 kids.......

Shock is an understatement.

Rude? TBH you need to sit on your hands and stop replying. I think you like the attention from him

I love how people talk to you on here! Sitting in the safety of your homes you can be as nasty and yes rude as you like....another story if we were all sat in the same room.

Surely people can say things without clearly losing their rag. Its not necessary and its not kind.

And of course I like attention, doesnt everyone....we cant all be robots you know, forgive me for having emotions...I shall proceed to be a cold heartless bitch from now on.

thanks mumsnet you have taught me well!

and let the backlash commence........take note though I couldnt give a shit how nasty you get, how insulting you get, i have been coming on here for years and shall continue to do so, cos luckily despite the ...... on here there are some who give honest good advice that I may not want to hear but I am happy to take on board because they word it correctly, they dont start with the insults.

You are all truly sad..it is a form of bullying and I can totally see why so many people are afraid to post on mumsnet...i for one shall not be bullied!!

Happy, its not bullying, its frustration!

People are taking time out of their busy lives to try and give advice but you seem to be totally ignoring it and just giving a blow-by-blow account of your text conversations where some bloke (who sounds like a total loser) is declaring his love for you.

What exactly did you want from your OP? All the replies were siding with you, saying that he had acted badly and yet you are the only person on this whole thread who doesn't appear to want the best outcome for yourself, as you continually keep this guy dangling.

Perhaps the best advice for both the texts and this thread is "if you don't like what's being said - stop replying and let it die!"

Well thank you at least for not sending a nasty reply and I do know what you are saying. If I was ignoring everyones advice I would be back with him now, but everytime I have felt a weak moment i have reminded myself what has been said on here and thought to myself, no, they are right on mumsnet, he is loving the attention, he wants to keep me there dangling. I know all this is true, I am posting on here still giving blow by blow accounts of it as you say purely so that you on mumsnet can keep me grounded and remind me that he is stringing me along.

However and you cant deny this, some of the people posting are rude, and it is uncalled for, it doesnt help, especially when they dont know what I am going through in other areas of my life, and people just being nice or rude in how they word things could make all the difference to my day, there is just no need whatsoever to be so rude. Never have I ever replied on a post on here so disrespectfully, i wouldnt dream of it, but then I was brought up with manners, and I am only ever rude when someone is rude to me.

When I am posting a reply to someone I always think before I post, I wouldnt dream of posting a nasty comment especially when you can see the op is having a hard time of it.

I have put posts on here and its clear to everyone reading it that I am at rock bottom and still I get rude posts. I dont know if they are singling out certain people or if anyone is fair game, but in the past I have sat here in tears, years ago mind, am used to it now, but have sat in tears reading someones post where they are being horrible to me. SOME on here clearly enjoy it and it is bullying, some on here are absolutely disgusting with their behaviour.

Right without 'nastiness':

You really need to ignore him and delete him - the end, it's difficult to see what he wants from you but it is clear that he is bad news.

Please don't get into a situation where you have baby number four and he is no where to be seen - he doesn't sound stable but he does sound like he will keep pursuing you if you don't disengage.

Let him bother some other unsuspecting victim - just get stern and tell him to leave you the f* alone!

Thanks overcooked....I havent replied to the last text, I am taking everyones advice.

There's also a case for 'tough love' where some posters do get a bit over-enthusiastic and say things in a really forthright manner because they think you need to see it spelled out in black and white.

I know we're all guilty of it at times, but your posts seemed to contradict each other, ranging from saying that of course you weren't interested in getting back with him, to saying "if he was only texting to ask how you were that you weren't interested" (i.e. if he'd been declaring his undying love and begging for another chance that you WOULD be interested.)

I know it is hard when you're trying to be strong but your heart is wavering, so I think people have tried to steer you away from this man with their harsh words to protect you from yourself.

I must admit I was reading the posts where you picked him up in your car and took him home, and thinking "no! what are you doing?!" and its like we can all see that something bad will come of it, except you, but there's nothing we can say or do to intervene! We just want you to value yourself and your DCs and make better choices so that men like him don't get a chance to 'mess with your head' again.