40+ Lone parents

[WillIEverBeASizeTen]

I'm 49 and a lone parent (13yo and 20yo) am I in the minority on Mumsnet? It appears alot of the LP's here are a lot younger!

Hi all- i got sooooo much done yesterday- it felt good but this morning i woke and realised that i am missing the kids like mad- boo,hoo!

Rock- thanks- it is good to receieve such positive feedback- it is not always clear how i am feeling and, as you well know, this is a real emotional rollercoaster- so it is nice when people also recognise when i am doing well and sounding positive- it reminds me that it is not all bad- cheers for that.

Joely- fantastic weight loss- the stress of all your shit going on has at least had some positive benefit!- I am not really eating at the moment- but it doesnt seem to be making any difference to my weight- maybe it is because when i am eating it is biscuits, cakes and crisps!!

Human- sounds a great idea about the backpack- so when we meet up someday and go out for a picnic you can fill it with wine!!

Hi to everyone- hope you are all well and having a good weekend- i am off to do more chores and i have a friend popping over for coffee later. xxx

Paul

yup my wine though lol your al have to carry your own or I can carry for you no gurantee that be any wine left in the bottles though.

enjoy the coffee

Hee, hee!! Human- what are you like??!! How big is this backpack?!

It was really nice to see my friend- she is the first human i have seen in 24 hours!! It was good to offload and also to have a laugh.

Just had lunch- i actually made myself some scrambled egg and ate it all- so that is a plus- off to get straight before the kids come home at 6pm.

Hello all you lovely ladies. Been to Glasgow to visit a friend for the weekend, now back home and very very tired - a combination of 2 very late nights plus waking up at ridiculous-o'clock!!

Catapult Loving your recent posts. I have plenty of very pretty but completely impractical and unwearable shoes. How about I just send them across to you??!!

Rock how was the beach today. It felt like winter in Glasgow this weekend, so I am not feeling at all jealous...........
Joely Congrats on the weight loss - I bet it makes you feel fantastic. Enjoy buying all the new clothes, and I think Rock is right, online shopping is definitely the way to go. Splash out, you deserve something nice.
Paul Hope your weekend continued to go well. I bet it was nice to get the DCs back home again. The weekends do get easier, and i can now honestly say that I need the break.
XP has completely reverted to the self-absorbed, insensitive version of himself again! He knew I was away for the weekend, and sent me a text late on Friday evening, asking me to confirm the date for his week in August to take DCs on holiday! He then brought them home nearly an hour late this afternoon. Deep breaths..............
Waves to everyone
Dumps x

Hi ladies- i survived the weekend!! Back to the crap with a bang today though- he keeps emailing me and then not responding to my replies- he is ignoring my requests or proposals- head games as usual... I am trying to rise above it but my kids are my weakspot and he knows that.

Catapult- how are you doing? Hows the backpack- how much does it hold again?!!

Rock- hows the weather? Only cause i am jealous- would love to live by the sea- i feel so much better when i can see the sea- hope you are well.

Joely- hope you are well and had a good weekend- are you managing to get some online shopping done- nothing more uplifting than a bit of retail therapy- have you tried ebay? I have got some fab bargains recently.

Dumps- thanks for your kind words- i hope that it gets easier because how i feel at the moment feels like i will never get used to being apart from the children. He wants to have them for a whole week in the summer and take them away- that feels like he has asked me to cut off my right arm! I am hoping, that in time, i will see the time they go to him as something positive but currently i hate it- even though i got loads done, i would rather have had them here with me.

Love to everyone and hope you all have a good week. xxx

Rock, I live in Harrow, north west London. I am going to get some inital advice on Wednesday from a solicitor at the 'Womens centre' . I am waverng a bit at the moment around gettng a divorce, he seems really depressed and am worried about pushing too much. It was me that iniated the split, id been unhappy for years and no matter how much I talked about what i felt was wrong nothing ever changed. Any way, just feeling a little low today. I would have liked us to be amicable.
By the way, am I only one that doesnt miss my DSs desperately when H has them overnight, I actually revel in the peace and quiet 24 hours without being asked to do anything, bliss! or am i just selfsh.?

Evening Ladies,

Corine - you need to think about YOU. And if that means that your marriage is beyond the point of no return, then I think you need to sort things out iyswim. If he realises that it's over too, then one would hope that he is grown up enough to let both you and himself move on to the next stage...

And no, you're not being selfish btw! When the big ones were smaller and I had a night or two to myself, I revelled in it also. There is absolutely no denying that the first few months of weekend/week long separations are incredibly emotionally draining, but that's because (imo) that it's all still raw and new. Once the kids and I had settled into our new 'life' and routines, the breaks were welcome (if only so I could have a glass or 6 with my non parenty friends and not need to deal with children while marginally overhung.....)

Paul ^^see above para! And also - I know that it's easier said than done (but I have done the done bit too) however, your DCs are your main priority and you have to detach yourself from him and treat dealings as one might in business. If he's being an arse, simply answer any questions succinctly. If he continues you ignore your proposals and suggestions, if it was me I would not answer anything further from him until previous questions etc had been addressed. So long as you remain straight and decent, then he will have no reason to take issue.

Dumps glad to hear you had a lovely (if wet and windy) weekend in Glasgow. Beach was lovely, thank you, slightly cloudy but it's much nicer than glaring sunshine tbh.

Joely/ten/Catapult what's news with you three lovelies?

afternoon mind saying that I always think of a policeman with braces.

Paul Depending which bit I use it is 5 or 2 litres .So thats plenty of booze for me .I to find it odd being away from my dc even though it is only when im ill/clumsy or they are away with my mum.Mind I do enjoy the break and chance to do something just on my own or if littlwe 2 are busy something just with ds2 .Ds1 is busy with his mates .

dumpsHope you had fun in Glasgow am of up their in October half term meeting up with friend of mine lots of cider be drunk I am sure.Glad you can see your ex for what he is .August mind hope he is paying the school holiday price and your not paying towards it .Maybe get yourself a last minute break away somewhere hot and sunny .Brrr which sound skinda good right now

corriane you are not selfish we all need a break .Hell I went away to chicago one year for a week yes i missed them but oh boy did I enjoy being able to be a grown up with no little person asking for the. toilet/icecream/cake/food .Harrow your around hour or so from me then .

rock

Nicer than glaring sunshine .There speaks a lady who sees more than her fair share of sunBut enjoy it all Sun and even better of a evening when little uns are sleeping.

Me I am doing ok and do not thin k ever going to worry about Bingo wings again sorry ladies but overdid it,as yesterday as arms to sore to even type on laptop

Just thought I'd say Hi to you all.

Once again a rather late posting to you all, so guess you all being good and sleeping soundly.
Want to share a story with you. If you up its bed time reading if not enjoy with your morning coffee. Hope it gives you all a laugh or at least raises a smile.

DD (6yrs) "Mommy if the tele screen broke now what would happen?"
Me "There would be an awful mess for me to clear up" (ever practical)
DD " But what about the people in the Tele? Wouldn't they come out in the living room?!"
Me "Theres not really people in the tele!"
DD "What you mean there dead in there and they will come out in the living room?" (Panic rising in her voice)
Me "No there just acting and are on a film"
DD "Oh so there not real!"
Me "No and the only mess to clear up would be the broken tele mess"

She really was concerned at times during this conversation - but so sweet how childrens minds sometimes work.

Will end now as I need to go to bed. Getting back into work is tiring - but I'm managing some how!

Will speak mor soon and hope you all doing OK and hangin in there.

Hi Joely loving the conversation sorry work is knackering but hoping you are ar at least enjoying chance fora drink without mummmm every 2 mins.

And yup was in bed last night , was long day as we buried my nan .I got out of spinal rehab( typing that becuase otehrday when typed rehab people did the face thinking i meant other kind of rehabs ,) for the day.

Glad I went was hard but important to my grandad I was there.One thing been learnt do not presume anyone else had thought if pub for wake wheelchair friendly .It was not!!! chair needed taking apart to get in .I had to slide on my butt down the stairs and toilets well lets say a size 8 would have struggled get into them .Moral of this is next time I check

Was lighthearted moment though .I called family member by his dads name as he is the spit of what his dad looked like last time i saw him ( oh about 28 years !! ago .) luckily he thought was very funny and admitted he had same reaction and was loking for my pigtails to pull.But he mad eme promise that I wouldcome and bring the kids and stay for a week in the summer with him and his wife and spend some time with the rest of the family ,( they have a place they holiday let so own space and no stairs !! )

Hi Catapult yesterday must have been hard for you. but comforting too. Thinking of you. I hope you do make it to see your relatives in the summer that would be a ral positive for you and the DC's its funny how these things work out.
Finding the funny side of things helps doesn't it. Life is too short to loose your sense of humor - so good on you.
I think you are an amazing person as you always seem to see the positives a cup half full person rather than half empty.
Works going OK especially getting a warm coffee rather than a cold mummm one from home . Just wish my powers of concentration would return and my decision making would improve. Now at work if I do manage to make a decision I amaze myself that I've done it!! Not what I was like before, but I'm sure as concentration improves so will my decisiveness!!
for anyone that wants one and Hi to all

Evening All,

Sorry, been a bit slapdash on this thread for the past week. Work's hotting up - all those pesky people who want to come here on their holidays!

Catapult I'm so glad you were able to go yesterday and there were lighthearted moments too. How is your grandfather doing? Has he got people around him to help/just be there? And great news that you can go down to a branch of your family with the children in the summer; I think that will do you all the world of good.

Joely Been shopping some more? I'm not surprised that going back to work after all that's happened has been a bit of a shock to the (brain) system. But it's great that things are falling into place for you. LOVED the exchange with your DD - it's so lovely how their little brains compute stuff isn't it!

Paul/Corine/Ten how are you all getting along. Isn't it about time you came and enjoyed a glass or three!!!

Evening all roumd in fact mor ethan one but no your not borrowing my bag the 2 litres in there are mine as well as the bottle glasss in my hand .Im going home in a few weeks time .

Grandads struggling as had to go into care home but he be ok .only really me an dmum my uncle his son lives in scotland .But we will go see him regulary

I have booked a week away in August with another forum belong to ( kids with sn) lot are camoing tent wise but am afraid i chickened out thought no tent and wheelchair not good so we have static on the site .Least it rains we be dry and lets face it uk and camping means rains and beno queing for shower /toilet .So watch out shrewsbury

Rock , dd will be on her way to Spain next Thursday they are driving down through France she is driving everyone mad and keeps repacking her stuff.So if you could arrange to keep the sun she is so excited as villa there staying in has its own pool

Joely it soon come back to you .Where I think my brain has gone into hiding or maybe even early retirement.

pauldumps crazynanatencorriane hope your all doing ok and enjoying the weather

opps thats paul and dumps not that paul dumps lol well you probably do but .OK OK I shall shut up now

hi all,
have been a bit off colour today, sore all over, but had the day off work so hopefully recovered for the weekend. Not that I am doing anything exciting, i am pretty broke. Though I might go to Kew Gardens on Sunday if the weather is good.( i have a season ticket) . I never know when the H is going to call and want to see the kids, not that i will change my plans but im sure the kids would like to know. By the way he is being a bastard again this week, so i went and picked the divorce forms and had a meeting with a solictor. I will submit them after i come baxk from my mini break in france.

Hello Me Luvverlies:)

It's been a while n I'm sorry to have deserted you for so long. Have had a scan through posts so know that the catapult is still up to no good but glad to hear that you're still on form

I've had a couple of glasses of tonight, my head is banging and I've got an early start tomorrow:( so I'll have to catch up when I can actually string a coherent sentence together..

rock joely (loved the story btw) dumps corine and paul miss you all lots, will pass by again over the weekend...xx

Ten I was on the verge of hunting you down, but spotted you on a thread earlier, so you're alive and that's good. Please catch up with us and tell us where you're at. xxx

Joely/dumps/corine/paul/catapult waves and for you all x

I know its late, but I think I could still manage the thanks Catapult!
Will catch up with you all at a more decent hour - I hope but NOT too early either in my dreams!!

Waves to all

catapult Great to hear you will be out in a few weeks, and good on you for booking a break, you sure do need it girl!

rock What I seem to do is, look at another thread and by the time I've replied or digested, I've been on the internet for an eternityover an hour! But I'm back in the cosy confines of strong,crazy,funny,intelligent womenfolk:)

Where am I at? Hmmm well very worried about my sis (thread..Is this controlling behaviour) and her partner, I feel helpless to her situation but she is going down and down. Her self esteem (what's left of it) is at an all time low. Like something you read in a magazine!

Apart from that I guess it's just another day in paradise...ooh yes...planted my tomato plants today, in the grobag and one in a topsy turvy upside down thingy. I'm so excited, can't wait for home grown tommys yum yum..

Feel like Widow Twanky having done so much washing today...Oh yes I do...

My strike through thing isn't working, what's all that about?

Waves to all xx

Well, my gorgeous ladies.
Have had a bloody brilliant day today with DC. We went to family party in Herfordshire, and then both DC were taking part in swimming gala. We came home, 9pm ish, and then danced together to Stevie Wonder in the kitchen. Then watched fireworks out of attic window - there was naming ceremony for new cruise ship down at the docks today. A great day.
Did I mention that I went out with the girls on Thursday evening for a curry, and go on.......just guess who came in the curry house with a few of his old cronies?? Funnily enough, I completely lost my appetite. I guess it could have been worse, he could have been with OW. Yeeeegadds, he makes me feel sick, but am definitely getting emotionally detached as time goes one. Getting stronger and stronger every week.
Did I also mention that I met up for a coffee with a guy from online dating?....
Catapult so glad to hear you are being let back out again! I bet you can't wait.

Ten welcome back! So good to hear from you again, you have been missed.
Big hugs to everyone else. Going to bed now.
Dumps x

Morning .

Lifts eyelids liiks at clock ekk not even 6am .

Dumpsville Am glad you had a good day with the kids .And that sucks typicla you finally get a night out and the x walks in .There is something to be said for living further from mine .But you are sounding more postive and how did the coffee date go ?

ten Glad to see you back and sheesh i been up early for you no for you .Me misbehave .Goes of to polish my halo

Tomotoes I promised the dc when I am home we will get planting .oh and your striking out never worked as you need to do round each word like this.

Corine
Sorry to hear your not feeling well .Hope you are feeling better soon.

rock
Could you please order some sun for next week ,Dd be over on Thursday .

All the floating about you ladies trying to tempt me .I am guessing none of you got raptured yesterday then .Knew when posted on here I was in the same sort of company

Waves to everyone else hope your all havin a good weekend

Morning All,

Catapult the sun is here (after a stormy couple of days last week) and forecast is excellent, so I'm sure DD will have a wonderful time. I look forward to hearing how she gets on. Very excited for your impending release (shorter jail terms have been served...), assuming everything's ready for you at home? How's DS3 at the moment - iirc he had a load of appointments recently. And no, I am beyond rapture

Dumps What a lovely day with the kids. Bah to bumping into Ex, but I'm so pleased and proud for you - what a change in the past few weeks!! Go that girl I say

Joely How are you getting on? Are things progressing with Ex-H on the legal front? Is he being an arse, or behaving in a more adult manner now?

Corine Hope you managed to get to Kew Gardens - I love it there. Spent many Sunday's there picnicking and such like. And then we would usually go to that pub in Richmond (on the green in the corner - do you know it?). Have a fantastic mini break to France and remember - do what's right for YOU and your children - he is an adult, he has to deal with it.

Paul Where are you? What's happening? How are you?

Ten I had a quick squizz at the thread about your poor sister - poor woman. Like you say - he appears to be an incredibly selfish and controlling man, but then is all lovely and somehow that 'makes it alright'. Sounds not dissimilar to my ex in many ways. I do hope she's ok though.

Have a lovely day all x

Hi everyone- sorry not been on forum for a while- last week dd was off poorly so didnt get much done and wasnt free to come on here much. Missing contact on here with you lovely ladies and i am looking forward to getting abit of time on here very soon.

It is my birthday today- 44 today!!! Gosh, that sounds old...!!! Ds is off school- full of cold and feeling miserable with it so a quiet day is in store. They both bought me breakfast in bed today and gave me some lovely pressies- i love them so much and it is times like this that i realise what a good job i have done, despite the shitty times we have been through- they are gorgeous, fantastic kids and they are soooo NOT like their dad- hurrah!!

Will be back soon- in the meantime, LOVE TO EVERYONE. xxx

Happy Birthday Paul. 44 - you're a youngster! Glad that the DC spoilt you this morning - and yes, you should congratulate yourself on doing such a great job as a mum (despite their father being a total git!)
A glass of to you my darling for your birthday. Enjoy.
Love Dumps x