40+ Lone parents

[WillIEverBeASizeTen]

I'm 49 and a lone parent (13yo and 20yo) am I in the minority on Mumsnet? It appears alot of the LP's here are a lot younger!

Helloooooo laydeeeeeess:)

Has been a while and must admit have missed all the chit chat:(

Hit 50 a couple of weeks ago, so an even older lone parent and menopausal to boot!

Have no idea what is going on here, are there newbies? If so welcome:) (please forgive me for not going back over old messages) Did read your last message Joely, and quite frankly don't know how you cope, I'm getting far too old for all those shennanigans! Joely, do what's best for YOU and YOURS, NOT him. One day this will all settle down and you and the kids will be happy, hang on in there and rant away!

Boo Hola hermana have missed you:( hope you had a good time in London?

Going How are you feeling these days? Is your back better?

Paul How are things with you too? Hope they are looking up.

Please forgive me if I have left anyone out (actually, I'm sure I have) my brain is fogged with the lack of hormones it has been denied (or could it be the ) did I really say that?!

I'm fed up, lonely and since seeing the RW practically suicidal...sorry...

x

Hello Girls,

Ten woo hoo! At last you're back. Been wondering where you have been.... Happy Birthday for the other week, did you do anything? Pah to age I say. I know I'm ten years younger, but I have never cared a hoot about my age - I be what I be. We had a super time in London, thank you. The weather was glorious for our entire fortnight. Had a few days down at my mum's in the middle, shopped, ate, went to Peppa Pig World and was strangely blue about coming back (not helped by the fact that in the 11 days we have been back it's pissed down for 7 of them!). Going has namechanged to Grouchy (although she has the most wonderful self deprecating humour it amazes me), and has had a pretty rough time. Her back has been operated on but she has been left with very little mobility and has a long road ahead. She's posted lots up thread though, so you can catch up on all the news.

Joely He's talking tosh. Certainly do NOT let him in the house if he is reading your post - he chose to live 20 miles away, so the petrol is his problem. He chose to walk away so he's just going to have to lump a whole heap of decisions. It is wrong for him to expect to come in to YOUR home when it clearly unsettles the children and he needs to grow a pair and see this. Very bloody fast. Stick to your guns and talk with your solicitor as well, as this behaviour is NOT on. I think some proper access arrangements need to be put into place asap as I this will mark things out properly with no confusion (as he clearly doesn't appear able to engage brain...)

Been baking all day and making homemade lemon squash as had glut of lemons from the tree , so I offer up some handy cocktails and slices of lemon tart for all.....!

Hello Lovelies! Hope you all had a good weekend, and have plans for yet another day off tomorrow. DCs also have inset day on Thursday this week - just when is a girl ever supposed to get on and do some work??
DCs been with XP and OW this weekend, but came back home this afternoon so all is good again. I had packed up some more XP's stuff this weekend, things like packs of old photos from years ago etc., and HE had the absolute front to be huffy with me over it! You would think that I was the one throwing him out, rather than him having an affair and leaving to live with OW. Perhaps he thinks that my home is just a storage facility for his old tat, or perhaps I should keep everything of his as a shrine. The man is deluded....... but I guess you have all had similar situations with the selfish, self-centred, cowardly *s.

Joely I have had a very similar situation with XP, but you are absolutely right that he should not use your house at his convenience. He has made his bed, and now has to lie in it. You must have the right to your own home, and privacy. When I had a solicitor draft a separation agreement for me, I seem to recall that it stated in that that XP does not have right of entry to home. Can you look into that? Now that XP and OW live together, I no longer let him get away with having access to my home. I have even been known to stand on the doorstep blocking the doorway - just to make sure that he gets the message that he is not invited in!! But where do they get their front from????
Grouchy how are you feeling today? So sorry that your news has been disheartening so far, but with a positive attitude like yours then I feel sure that things have to improve. Good luck with it all. Don't forget the fire alarm plan, for those times that you really need a bit of cheering up!
Hi to everyone else.
Dumps.x

Ten happy birthday all be it late hope you had a great day. Just count backwards then you wont feel so old!! My Aunty always told her son she was 21 which was fine until at the age of 11 he said if you are 21 it means you were 10 when you had me!! Uuummhhh doesn't quite work then does it! Good to hear from you again.

Boo like the idea lemon tart with home made lemon squash sounds great if we put candles on the tart we can use it to mark Tens birthday!! [cgrin]

Grouchy how you doing? Thinking of you. I'm helping on the hunt for firemen to aid your escape, but haven't found any yet. Would a hairy viking do instead?

Paul Hows things going for you now?

Hi to everyone else

Sent email to XH an then a text to tell him it was there expected rant down the phone from him but all quiet so far maybe he not seen it yet or busy with OW!!

Hi All

Lemon tart as a birthday cake, yum yum:) Actually Boo could you muster up a lemon drizzle while you're at it

Joely I guess the only reason I'm sore about being 50 is because I'm single and I don't think it's ever going to change:( however, mustn't get maudlin:)

I went to Las Vegas with various family members for my big day. Something I promised myself many moons ago and set aside a certain amount from when my house was sold was able to achieve it:) I had a fantastic time and lifted my mood no end, as I was pretty low before I went.

Joely Totally agree with what Boo and Dumps have said about XH. He has made his bed, you call the shots. Bloody men

Another day in Paradise...well at least the suns shining:)

Catch up in a bit, think I need another

Morning

and yes i had a name change as im no longer goingroundthe bend think I have arrived there

up cant do with the meds .Well i can but can not account for the consequences

Happy #Birthday ten for last week and if you ever want to chat of i often have yahoo messenger or msn up so pm and will give you my nickname that goes for anyone of you.I think it is the loneyness that gets to us all the realsation that its all dwon to us.But we also want to shout but what about me us as a person .

Dumpsville

.He choose to move out and yes i to would be boxing all his stuff placing on lawn and telling him to come collect it or it is going in the bin .I loved clearing all his rubbish out when xh left

Joely
your right it is your home and he should only be allowed to come in at your invitation and the fact he has been looking at your mail shows he has lost the right to come in as you can not trust him.infact i know i would not let xh in my house but then i am fortunate as this has never been somewhere he has lived

Boo

Dam the rain .It needs to clear up end of the month as dd will be very upset if she can not use the pool at the villa.
How are Bellas teeth now any signs of new ones?

Baking dam your good can i ahve choccie chip muffins please.and a side order of lemonade with a little something extra in it

As for me iIm doing ok .Number one lesson learnt recentley that sleepwalking is not good .Somehow the other night while doing best zombie impression .
I tried to stand up and woke up the ward as i fell by trying to grab the table and some rather loud swearing as i met the floor.Mind was so glad that wearing my own pns not hospital gown so at leats did not add to my embarassment by lashing my arse to the ward and the drs.

So have been lots of jokes about my escape plan .But did mention that my escape plan involves the nearest pub which thanks to google i know its location .Anyone have feeling that when i get some wheels of my own that there going to be fitting a tracker to them .

Joely

Viking will do nicely to .Goes of to consider that she may need entreance door and a exit door so they dont meet .Dam another reason for getting home can mange this better.

Paul

Hope your ok

Waves to everyone else

oh ten best way to sort out the cloudy head is to have some more.Though lol maybe 9am not a good time .

Considers it hmm ok maybe some days it is .offers bribes to nurses

hi Ten

think we crossed posted .I had booekd before this to take dd and ds3 to Florida and it ha sbeen in doubt if I can mange it now .But have decided bugger it I am going to do it.So next year in September Flordia her eI come

Can I Have a while your making please we get one at breakast 8am and another about 11am.Though i use the term coffee very loosely

How was vegas I love to go one day and yes can understand the single bit .But then truth i dont think I could ever live with a man again like doing my own thing .House next door job I think..

Ladies you do realise we ever get chance to get together for oclock .That i shall have advantage over you all .I will not have to fight to get a seat .Shall bring my own with me and it be cusioned to .And when you ladies are in danger of falling over from the .I shall either not fall as seated or becuase I am seated I shall have less distance to fall.That or im going to mow lot s of people down with some dodgey driving .So pick the guys you wish to fall at your feet and will do my best to oblige

Hi everyone- just a quickie- sorry not been on here for a few days- so i have lost touch abit with what is going on- but sending love to all you lovely ladies and will catch up more once the kids have gone back to school tomorrow.

The kids are with their dad today and i have got so much to do to catch up with myself- wondering whether any of you have any tips or advice on how i am feeling at the mo- i am feeling really low and probably depressed- finding it hard to smile, laugh or feel good- feeling really anxious and my self esteem is pretty low at present- feeling really lonely aswell- not feeling like company because i actually am fed up with putting on a brave face and actually would prefer someone to just give me an big hug and allow me to cry.

I have no family around me so cried down the phone to my mum yesterday- bless her- she got it all- her ears must have been very wet by the time i got off the phone!!

Sorry- i probably sound like a real miserable cow and that i am feeling sorry for myself- but i dont want to push these feelings under the carpet
because i know, from painful experience that they will come back to bite you on the bum..!!

Right, i am off now to clean, clean, clean- and then collapse before the kids come home- hope you all have a good day and that the sun is shining, like it is here. xxx

Paul, it all sounds about right really - but it is early days and you will feel better before you expect to IYSWIM. Clean, clean and clean some more for me was very therapeutic - evening moving some furniture around to create 'new' rooms was good for me. My mum was on the end of many a teary phone call, and your mum won't be the last either, and as you say - bottle it up and it will come back and bite you on the bum!

If it was me I'd start at the top of the house and work my way down - finishing in the kitchen, then at least if you don't finish it in one day you have a clean and fresh bedroom to collapse in at the end of it . Throw an easy supper in for tonight and just crack on. If nothing else, you'll have a clean house and will sleep like a log!

Open those windows, let the fresh air blast through and turn the radio up...You can even put curlers in your hair a la Nora Batty if you so desire

It does get better and easier, but don't force yourself to smile - it is perfectly acceptable to be miserable before one is smiling from within again. And it WILL happen. xx

Grouchy you are potentially and extremely bad influence on me. Therefore you most definitely qualify as my friend

Ten Lemon everything on the sideboard - dig in. There's even candles for you. Loving your Vegas trip, even if I am a tad at you!

Dumps as grouchy suggested - he's bloody lucky you had the decency to box the stuff for him. Bin bags out the top window is more than he deserved imo but I do believe we all ought to channel our inner vindictive cow at times

evening moving???? EVEN moving

grouchy have been looking over your last few posts, you really are in a bad way aren't you? How long do you think you'll be in a wheelchair for? And, how will you manage with the kids??!! You poor love, honestly I feel ashamed when complaining of trivia I hope you feel better really soon((((big hugs)))
Will PM you for your nickname and add you to my MSN. Maybe one day we can do Vegas again (60th?

paul Just read your last post and I'm so sorry you feel so low, it's hard with no family or close support, but....you DO have us you can always have my number and can cry to me! I promise you it gets better promise promise promise:)

joely and dumps hope all is quiet on the western front xx

boo we haven't had recipe for the day today..c'mon girl you're slipping...

Ten

Realstically i am going to be in it for the rest of my life.I may over time be able to walk afew steps with crutches but will always need rely on a wheelchair .

And thats what were all here for to have a good moan and a laugh .Oh and I have one set of wheels now .Will sort out another anyone want to place bets on first time I go awol to the pub

Luckily my house is converted for wheelchair already and the older two are really good .

Boo

Get your curlers in and stop dancing around and cake and time .Me a bad influnece but how can you blame me Im a angel and stop laughing

Paul,dumpsville Joely it does get bette ryes some times are tough but other time you give big sigh of relief and think phew glad dont have to put up with that any more

waves to everyone else opps sorry can not drink and drive well not with this chair the power one I will be able to

up hmm maybe I should be offering to get you lot started of a morning

Hope everyones ok and enjoying the lovely weather and that you finally have the sun back to Boo

grouchy that's sad, what do the physios say? I'm amazed by your frankness and also your humour, you're an inspiration girlie:) I'll buy you a well deserved drink when we meet up m'love!

It is a bit quite eh grouch, d'you think boo has been captured by the cookie monster

Hi Ladies- again just a quick visit to say hello to all of my lovely MN friends. The kids have just gone for their midweek visit to their dad so i have a couple of minutes to breathe!!

Grouchy- thinking of you - you are a real star and i admire how positive you remain despite your problems- i really look forward to meeting you sometime and giving you a big, well deserved hug.

Boo- hope you are ok- it has been abit quiet on here lately hasnt it? When do you come over to the UK again?

Will I Ever- thanks for your kind words and it is good to know that you are all there for me- i am my own worse enemy as i often isolate myself just at the times when i need others the most- i am getting better at asking for support though- so it is great to know i have made such lovely friends on here- thank you. xx

Hi to Joely, Dumps, Ten and any other lovely ladies whose messages i may not have read recently- hope you are all well and it is great to have you all as friends- i so look forward to the time when we can meet up.

Love to you all. xxx

Hello Everyone,

I have been on - ish. Name changed as you can see. Been feeling really ill all week. Sick - a lot. Super tired and just sort of wiped out really. I wish I could say the cookie monster had got me, but have barely had a crumb pass my lips lest it come straight back out. ExP being total waste of space and on my asking if he could have Bella today so I could do nothing said he had a tennis lesson booked and therefore couldn't. Alright for some. I don't generally get ill, but I think the past few months have caught up with me.

Grouchy how you doing? Any progress on souped up chairs? Bella had pimped her Trunki up nicely, so if you fancy a Peppa Pig emblazoned one then she's your girl! I PM'd you BTW..

Paul I'm back at the end of June for a bit, and then in September. We're back for good around beginning of November, so it would be lovely to try and sort some kind of Christmas something or other....Although on the September trip will have some spare play days too.

Wave to all and I'll be back to spout my usual rubbish in the next couple of days when my brain is working properly!
x

rstob You "sound" ill if you don't mind me saying, really down in the dumps too. I can't believe that tw* of an ex said that (who am I kidding!) well, that's exactly why he is an ex! Flippin hard being alone and ill with kids eh? Have no idea how grouch* manages. You'll soon be on the up, I'm sure Bella has been playing nurse:) Don't be poorly for too long, I've missed your usual rubbish;)and your cookies

paul nice to hear from you, you "sound" brighter, so that's great:)

I also look forward to meeting my virtual friends, don't know what I'd do without this thread sometimes, even if I don't actually post, the cosy security of knowing someone is out there who knows where I'm coming from is so reassuring:)

Thanks girlies

rstob wish you better ((((hugs))))

Looking here, I seem to be the oldest, does that qualify me for anything? I am 52. I too have a big gap in ages. I am fairly new to mumsnet, been a member for ages, but just got round to checking it out.

DS 35
DS 33
DS 30
DS 10 a very welcome surprise

I have a gap like that astramum...I thought she was the menopause!

morning

Hi Astra well it means joining us mad bunch and welcome and yes think you may win the biggest gap but the mad award sorry thats all mine

rock

You do sound really rough and your ex well can see why he is a ex!!.Hope you do start feeling better soon .lol pimped up chair hmm peppa pig he may have some competion with Roary the racing car .I think it is defintley dvd time and lay on the couch and eat chocolate well Bella can

November you are so going to miss the sun .Thinks about knititng you a warm jumpers nah never could get hang of knitting always ha dmore holes than wool

paul

Yes i know in some ways I am to my own worse enemy and sometimes to independent for my own good to .And think when you are a single parent your so busyit is not always so easy to arrange kid free time as well.

ten

slightly late this morning computer was out of reach someone had moved my table and not put it back .
Truth when home I mange as my older boys are good and even the littles are to .At the moment my mum is holding the fort.

Chair wise well I have one from stores and well less said the better about it :( .But have friends chasing down better second hand chairs for me a lightweight manual and a power chair for those lazy days and to able me to hold my when on the move .

Physio wise they its all about making sure i can cope with life in a chair and teaaching some excersise can do so legs dont waiste away though wish my arse and belly would .This has caused a wee hiccup in my diet .

I have done most of my crying ( note leaving myself a get out clause) now am determined get on with living and luckily thanks to ds3 and people met through him .I know life does not stop when in a chair just changes and on the whole I am a pretty postive person so that does help .

Dumps/joely/crazy nana Hope you ar ekeeping ok and enjoying the weather

And meet up pre xmas sounds good if we can all swing it with juggling kids

Morning ladies- just a quickie again!! I am off to the Drs this morning- i felt ill yesterday- think i have a chest infection- feeling really rough with high temperature- so annoyed because i was supposed to be starting the freedom Programmes today- will get back to you later- in the meantime- love to everyone. xx

quick one ladies just to say that I ahve now or well very soon will ahve power chair have won it on ebay need to arange my mum or step dad to collect it .Now am just looking for a lightweight manaul to replace the heavyweight nhs manual and then its a full house heheheehhe

oh i may just be a tad happy to all round

Grouch that's fab news, and when I can face I'll raise my glass to you!