40+ Lone parents

[WillIEverBeASizeTen]

I'm 49 and a lone parent (13yo and 20yo) am I in the minority on Mumsnet? It appears alot of the LP's here are a lot younger!

Grrr I hate *

Maybe I'll just have to swear instead.

It's rather cathartic!! Sometimes no other words will do!!!!

Boo sadly I am allergic to df118 they make me hurl in a rather spectualr fashion last time they gave in hospital I through up all over the Dr who had insisted I gave them another try .Funny after that he wrote acrossy notes that I must never have them

and yup I reckon dv sick at all should text him . Karma if it's 3am

am of to look at school for ds3 today thoughtabout cancelling but he has meeting in May to decide so needs must .

Just hope guy tomorrow can do something

Kids are being great ds1 and ds2 cleaned house up last night as I sloped of to bed once little two were down

am thinking I need to get up bit thinking is as far as I have got

Hi- despite such a terrible day yesterday i am back up fighting today- feeling abit clearer in my head because he is not here- i cannot function when he is here- the stress and the tension is crippling me. I have spoken to a solicitor today ( i saw him back in January but had not started divorce proceedings then) and he gave me loads of good advice- told me to log everything that is happening (i am doing that anyway), get a copy of my marriage certificate (which i have order today as cant find original) and i have an appointment to see him when i get back from holiday.

So focus is on the holiday now- he can wait till we get back before i sort anything else out- i think me and the kids deserve a holiday without the worries and pressures from him.

Lilacs- we are planning to go to Monkeyworld on the Monday and the Saturday- so if that fits in with your visit let me know and perhaps we could have a coffee there?

Thanks to everyone so far for sharing your support and advice with me- it is a huge source of comfort knowing that i am not alone with this- and that many of you have been where i am currently and have come so far- there is hope for me yet!! dealing with all of the s**t is hard enough when you are feeling on top form but when you are ill with the stress of the ongoing situation it is so hard to handle. I know that when things get so bad the only way is back up- but i wish it wasnt so difficult.... My children are what keep me going, if it wasnt for them i would have gone under by now ( well actually, if there were no children i would have left him many years ago!!!)

The next few days i am going to be busy packing and getting ready for my holiday- so i just wanted to thank everyone so far for being so kind and supportive- and hope that you are all ok in your current situations- once again, i think this thread is fantastic and long may it continue......

Boos- hope you have a lovely break to the Uk- safe journey and enjoy yourself, xx

Paul how lovely to hear you in a more positive mind! Really pleased that you've got meeting with solicitor lined up, and just generally that you have made that more definite move.

Have a fantastic time with the kids, and just think, when you get back it is the start of your new lives - the only way is up! We're all behind you, and you know that

Thank you, I am really looking forward to getting away. Had a blast at Bella's father this morning and he didn't know what had hit him! I have spent the last seven years just biting my tongue but have had enough - and he certainly knows about it as of 10am today! Given him enough to be going on with to think about. He tried and failed to get a word in edgeways - I even shocked myself!!!!

Going Bummer. FIngers crossed for tomorrow's appointment though... And your older DCs sound wonderful with all their help around the house and with the smaller peeps. Hope school meeting went well.

Well have 5 mins to spare so have made it on to here!! anyone? I'm making!

Trying to sort out a vehicle for my soon to be 17 DS2!! Mine too big for him to learn in so need a smaller one. 2 years ago H organised new one for DS1 and DS1 has now taken it on himself!! But DS2 feels he lives in big brothers shadow so disscussed with XH re car and he thinks it maybe possible to do same for DS2 . However mid Feb my old car died so got a new second hand one. My dead car was at garage and I signed it over to them to get rid of 2 weeks ago without thinking about DS2 and car!! Now XH wonders if we can use it to get new car for DS2!! Waiting to hear back from garage re this - Hope we get somewhere with it but surprise surprise salesman I had spoken to is on holiday this week ARGH why do people want holidays!! They should be banned for all but us!!!! LOL

End of me coffee break as kids back in from making mud pies in garden
Speak later
Hope you all having not too bad days

Boo bet you gettin excited despite having to pack! Have a good journey and time in England

Just wondering where you have all gone? Feels like I'm here all alone

I'm making a if anyone free to join in.

I feel really down an miserable today an just need support an to be able to moan

Sorry, been frantic for the past 3 days trying to sort things out before we go this evening. Got 10 places let over the next 3 weeks and needed to get them ready, hand keys to people to hand keys to people IFSWIM and pack and tidy my pad!

Why so Joely, has he been giving you grief? Or is it just one of those weeks? I had one of those last week and over the weekend to be honest and I so know how horrible it is. Have you any plans for over the Easter hols?

Right, must bathe small person, finish off packing and get us to the airport. Will be back on tomorrow at some stage though. Chin up.

Hi everyone,just sitting down for a minute (hope it's that long!).

I took dd5 to nursery for a visit and booked her in for full time daycare from 10th May

She is 1 tomorrow...
I am selfishly rather distracted by memories of this time last year when I was preparing for a booked CS with the doula I had organised.
Psycho XP appeared late in the afternoon,asking for forgiveness (again)and wanting to be at the birth.Regretfully,and to everyone's horror,I let him.

5 days later,he did his worst to us for the final time, the midwife called the police and we had a panic button ,then a court order.
No contact since.

She is beautiful.I can't believe we have come so far in a year.

xxx

Joely- Thinking of you- you can moan as much as you like- the support on here has been fantastic for me- feel like i know you all already!! xx

Boos- hope you have a fab time in England- enjoy! xx

Piranha- you have had a really tough time and sounds like you are all well rid of him- Hope you have a lovely day with your little one tomorrow- you have come so far and it will be a special day for you. xx

I am feeling a bit brighter and sooooo looking forward to our holiday- he is being absolutely horrible and i cant wait for him to go.... The tension is really building and he is losing it even in front of the kids so they are upset and confused- our lives are going to be so much better without him- we may be skint but we will have peace and calm in our home without him- halleluyah!!

Hope everyone is ok and i look forward to catching up with all when i get back on April 18th.

Piran - Happy Birthday to dd5 hope you having a really good day with her and you are in a much better place than you were this time last year.

Yesterday was just bad as went with XH and kids for lunch. While out XH trying to use his mobile sneakily and got cross when I passed a comment and told me to F off!! Don't matter to me what he doin with mobile so why he needs to be secretive is beyond me, I just passed comment)9 He never used language like this before to me so why does he think he can do it now?? He was real charming to sales people but kept getting digs in at me. He wants us to be friends for the sake of the children, but I know he don't talk to his other friends the way he is to me.

Was real upset yesterday afternoon over it and it was rather damp in the kitchen again as my eyes kept leaking. However by the evening I realised I am in a much better place as I dont have to put up with his sniping and unreasonable behaviour anymore. I will not let him talk to me this way as I just won't see him or if I do I wont be trying to make conversation. There will certainly be no more lunch trips with him and kids for a while atleast (if ever). Will just have to avoid him again when he comes to see them.

Rant over, sun is shining and while yours are all breaking up or getting ready too for easter holidays mine go back to school on Monday 2 weeks holiday gone just like that and kids only one overnight stay with there dad - whats that say about his committment to them eh?

Have a good day all and safe travelling to those who are going away.

Thanks for the birthday wishes!

Paul - so sorry to hear what you are going through.You are right,it will be much better once he has gone.Hope you have a great time away.

Joely - your xh sounds horrible,how dare he abuse you like that.Good idea to stop having trips with him.It does sound like you would be better off avoiding him altogether.
My kids have another week in school before the holidays and I am trying to sort out my 2 xh's to have their two each to stay at the same time.That leaves me with dd5 (and the dog!)and I can go visiting without the tribe!

In case that didn't make sense,dd's 1 and 2 are from my 1st (vv short) marriage,and their dad lives 2hrs away.Dd3 and ds are from my 2nd marriage and their dad lives nearby.It's all amicable these days,mostly,luckily....in fact,my xp - dd5's "dad"- caused us all such misery,and was such a bastard to xh1 and 2,that now he is gone,it has helped build bridges.Now they realise what he was like.

Beautiful sunshine here.Hope everyone has a sunny weekend - in every sense of the word!

Hello All

Have been AWOL:(

joely How are you today? I'm sorry you are feeling sad. You're not alone really you aren't, rant away..

boo We need a catch up, you're probably in flight at this moment, so will catch you around at the weekend.

paul How are you doing? I can really identify with the liberating/calm feeling of him going, once things have settled you will be so much happier. Hope you have a wonderful holiday..

piranha You sound like you really have your hands full! One more week at school and then the routine can relax a bit eh? Next time you feel like crying, pop in here and have a chat/rant/scream:)

going Where are you, you're very quiet too? I've missed my early

Hugs and waves to everyone:)

Hi Everyone,

Sorry, just flying in and out of MN. BIg grots on the train into LOndon as I type and then we're off out as obviously they NEED stuff......! Why can't they just say 'please may I have' rather than 'I must/need '!!!

Will be back tomorrow evening properly as busy day planned today and tomorrow.

Hi All,

Another busy weekend gone by, looks like we all been busy in RL so not made it onto here!! Hope all have had a "Good busy time"!!

Its late again, but not as late as my normal postings. Am trying to regain my life and normal time as Kids back to school tomorrow following our Easter hols - we dont actually have easter off from school this year!! Next week I am going bakc to work having been off sick since my marriage break up in January. Think I am looking forward to it in one way but not in another - oh well have to try and get day and night in some semblance of order by the end of the week.

Having a anyone else up for one - I'm making. Then I will go to bed

Nite nite all

is everyone busy in RL its rather lonely here so I'm having a if anyone wants one then off to bed if no one talking nite nite in case no one here!!

I'm back . And I have best exscuse ever honest ( thread in general health )

but short story bad back (understatement ) disc punctured spinal cord emergency spinal surgery .Lots of drugs inface still lots of drugs but moved my toes ( no one including surgeon was even sure if I ever would .But I am :))!

Will read catch up next few days but not forgotten you ladies though I has attention span of a gnat ATM eyes up morphine pump and diazapan tablets

Going - Sorry to hear things not been good wondered how you were getting on.
Pleased to hear things are improving :) even if it is slowly. Sending you MN hug and flowers and chocs.
Take Care

Going that is so strange. One of my dearest friends had the very same last October - You'll be please to hear that she is now fully back to normal. Enjoy your druggy haze! HAve you got some help with the smalls?

::waves furiously at everyone else - been frantic over the past week::

Yes luckily mums looking after them and my friends helping her too by taking kids out on some fun days .

Am bit gloomy ATM as dr been in explaned bit more and the dx have is pretty rare there's less than 100 cases a year .I of course googled it and went and bawled like baby

Boo
enjoy the big grots
Paul

Hope your enjoying your break.

Joely
hope things get better

But all the drugs keeping me firmly in therainbow and flying pig land

Will

Sorry no but I can offer morphine ,dizapan and other drugs not just the morning time .Can offer round the clock

Hello ladies. Blimey, things have been quiet on here over the Easter Hols! Hope you are all having good times with DC.
I had a very positive time with DC in first week of hols. Things with XP had really calmed down, and even invited him to join us for dinner on Weds. Feeling quite positive about things in general......and then.....(you know something bad is coming now, don't you!! Have I built up the tension enough yet??)..........

It's XP's weekend with DC, and he landed me with the news yesterday afternoon that OW would be spending weekend with them all. He knows that this is completely against my wishes, but had arranged it all without my knowledge and then left it till the last minute to tell me so I had no choice to go along with it. I was quite proud of the blasting I gave him on the phone, but it made no difference at all - he came and got them last night, ignoring the fact that I was the sobbing, wailing, weeping mess in the corner.

I had rung my solicitor, who advised me that I have no control over this situation unless the DC are 'at risk', with the added good news that I can't force XP to sign the separation agreement so I have no comfort of financial security either.
Where is the fairness in all of this? HE has an affair, HE leaves me and DC on our own, leaving me to deal daily with the aftermath he has left, HE is now living the life of larry and can do whatever he wants in his new life of freedom, HE starts living with OW within 3 months of leaving and yet he still seems to hold all the cards. I am so frustrated, angry, sad, hurt etc. etc., but all I can hope is that the worst must now be over (please don't disillusion me!!)
Good news of the week - I have got a job, starting after Easter Hols.

Hope you are all enjoying the holidays. Sorry for the rant.
Dumps.

Hi Dumps, yes it has gone very quiet on here Guess everyone is saving themselves while enjoying the Easter hols. My DCs hols ended last week an they are all back at school now!!
Congratulations on the job :) Bet you feel great about that an well done,
As for probs with XP it is just so unfair how they can walk away an leave us to the day in day out grind, then turn up an be the fun guy for a few hours then disappear again as if by majic. I might be in same position as you in next few days re financial security. XH told me what he was willing to happen but said he not go through solicitors so i went again during the week to see about drawing up a legally binding agreement, now waiting to check it an wait for fireworks when he sees it as we have a propoerty to sell that will have to pay capital gains tax on which he is against BUT i'm not signing it over to him. HE who left has the cheek to say he wouldnt trust me if he signs it over to me to sell!! I still stand by promises I made when I married him, but he has forgotten his - so WHY would i trust him!!! (He says we can then share the proceeds of the sale - but hes looking for a brand new car! me not thick so I wont sign things into his name)
It is unfair they can dump us yet decide if an when to do things you like me just want some financial security I guess. We have to keep looking forward an chin up it will get better just not sure when!!! LOL
Take care a an MN hug to you
Well done again on the job x

morning all

Im sick of looking at the hospital ceiling .Do you think i could ask the nurses to put some posters on the ceiling for me.Can i have suggestions please .Dont think asking if they could add a to my iv went down well.But figured i already have the hangover from hell(caused by the spinal surgery ) so figured would not notice any increase

Sorry dumps
that must be hard .I know my xh has a new partner but neither of them have any intrest in the kids .I know thwy are trying for one of their own .(but hey ho this was a man that called his son a retard and only ever wanted to see his daughter but now he sees neither)

and well done for staying strong joely .Somethings are better in black and white