40+ Lone parents

[WillIEverBeASizeTen]

I'm 49 and a lone parent (13yo and 20yo) am I in the minority on Mumsnet? It appears alot of the LP's here are a lot younger!

going thanks for the offer but will abstain this evening, however, being an oldie I'll have a bless your DS and his w/c tricks:)

paul well done for telling the kids. Certainly a weight off your shoulders. Will be hard, but will get better, and....you have US to share it with :) keep your chin up, there are brighter days ahead...

I have had big rowwords with 13yo DS, drains me...won't do homework..won't even write it in his diary! I am sick of the sound of my own voice, so I'm off to bed..

Happy birthday to you.
Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday dear Lilacs
Happy Birthday to you, that is sung of course. Hope you had a good day. Sending you a bottle of to enjoy

Paul. bet it feels like a weight is lifted in someways, an instead been replaced by a heap of emotions - take care an chin up. It does get better from here on in it just takes time to see it though.

Well DC x 3 were due home at 4-4.30 but at 4.25 had call to say not left yet they were an hour or so journey away - hope thats OK!! They actually pitch up home at 6.30. So now I still have DD 1 (6) and DS3 (4) still running round and not settled for bed!! It takes them ages to unwind - will have to set ground rules I think so when a time is agreed it gets stuck to. I feel so frustrated. I NEVER asked to be a LP. He gets the fun going out looking a good daddy visiting friends while I get to be horrible mom who keeps routine and regularity going I HATE THIS

Wish my mom would come an help me out for a bit but with a 450 mile journey and a ferry trip she won't come at the moment. I just want someone to look after me for a day or two rather than me having to give all the time!

Paul I am so pleased that you have told the children. How totally stupid and insensitive of him to send the email to that account though. But I do believe that now they know the reasons for the atmosphere in the house they will be able to pick themselves up and the three of you will be able to jolly each other along. I can't say that it will be easy from here, but it will be a lot less stressy for you, which in turn will make for a happier home in the long run IFSWIM. As I said before, they are extremely resilient and will understand that this is for the best not just for you, but for their lives too. I also think that this is a HUGE weight that has been on your shoulders for too long and the strength you will gain knowing now that your kids can understand some more will give you more power to steam on... So yay for you!

Ten They're a nightmare. But you know what - sometimes I've found it is better to just let them make their fuck ups as they inevitably will and they'll soon learn. Once he gets into Year 10 he will realise that anything he does or doesn't do will have consequences, not just at school, but for his future. My DS goes in waves of being a complete PITA and I now leave him. He looks at his older sisters and sees how well they are doing and have done and now, now towards the end of this Yr 9, he is starting to pull his socks up. He knows that I will NOT be funding him once he's left or screwed up his education!!!

Joely He must stick to a proper time for the smalls. Because they are that. Simple. If he is not capable of telling them time and leaving appropriately to get them to yours when agreed then he is going to have to sort himself out. Small children who are tired and grouchy and then being passed over from one parent to the other do not a happy mother make..... I hope they settled at a decent time in the end (or soon if they haven't yet...) I know what you mean about having some support too - when the big ones were small mine was on the continent and I was in London and I had no family close by for that. Its hard work with 3 small people. Perhaps she could come up for May half term or something, nicer weather, kids will enjoy it???

Going yep, DS3 sounds like he could give Bella a run for her money. HE sounds wonderful. When you say you have an early start...knowing the times you post on here sometimes I can only imagine that tomorrow will be at an hour that I haven't seen since I was young and going out all night!!!!!

Hello to everybody else, I too am off to bed, long day, tired mummy...

Just checking in quickly while DP is ironing DD2's school shirts - they only met on Sunday but we went out for dinner and I thought I should just go the whole hog and let him stay the night too!

Paul, so glad that it's out in the open with your DC. I didn't tell mine for SEVEN months even though they knew we were sleeping in separate rooms. Turned out DD1 had been worrying she would have to leave her boarding school and I wished I had told them earlier. It was another EIGHT months before we moved out though!

Night all...have read up to date but don't have time to reply to everyone tonight, sorry x

OH gosh Lilacs I forgot - how was Thorpe Park?

Thanks all. Goingroundthebend, no, he has to collect a token daily and then they usher the free meal kids in in front of everyone else and apparently, there aren't many of them...makes them stand out like sore thumbs and is wrong on so many levels. I'm certainly going to take it up because it's not fair on any of the kids.
The particular boy that's being nasty to Ds about it all has told Ds to 'talk to me when you've got money' that child is not a nice boy imo :( &

Ten I hope thats early enough for you .[grin

lilac

Would your dp like to iron school shirts here please will send .Thats 15 shirts a week please as ds1 does not wear now at collage .I dont do ironing unless im forced to or my mums visting .

Joely it must be hard and i do think thats the hardest thing about being a single parent .I rember catching D&V of the kids and was feeling really ill and was still having to look after 2 who still had it and sobbing one night in the bathroom becuase i was so tired and so ill

And yup i was up at 3am but was expecting a phone call from the states .Looks like my fab friend may be able come over for a visit later in the year to .We may go out and paint the town red white and blue and I may enjoy causing some gossip on the school run as fab friend is a rather tall and good looking ( well i think so ) Man

going will you marry me

Off to work, be back later to read all and reply all...

Have a good 'un x

Afternoon All,

Funny Going Ironing is the one thing I don't really mind doing! Crap TV and a glass or three of wine and I'm away! How exciting for your friend maybe coming over, go and create the gossip I say .

Solo That is just wrong for them to put the children on free meals virtually on view for all. Have you managed to talk with the school yet? This other boy sounds like he needs a damn good kick up the backside talking to.

Right it's a beautiful terrible day, rainy sunny, freezing cold 24C and I will just have to sit it out I guess....!

Wednesday - crap TV night, so back later for some more drivel (on my part that is)!

We had a very late night nearly 10.30 by the time DS3 settled then at 1am DD appeared in my bedroom wanting a cuddle, then took delight in telling me about her time with daddy, seeing the animals, meeting up with daddys friend and her little girl. THEN she tells me they had tea back at his friends house despite they should have been back with me before tea time. (I hate this situation and never asked for it - its so unfair - he'll have to learn to tell the truth as his children certainly will.) This made me feel and as he told me they hadn't eaten tea. HE STILL CANT BE HONEST WITH ME.

I then cried myself to sleep when DD had gone to sleep, woke up from a fitfull sleep with a headache. But have just had friends over for lunch which was great :). Now they gone I feel lonely so thought I'd talk to you guys.

Sorry for the rant an thanks for listening

Boos - we have no May half term here (or October or February) so have to wait an see if July brings a visit from mom, but maybe not as we are going to see her for a day or two, after our weeks holiday in Yorkshire, all 5 DC's + oldested GF are looking forward to the break, so hope it works out OK for us all.

Lilacs - are you ready to update us yet?

Solo - its so unfair of school to treat children in this way and so unfair of children to treat each other the way they are. Go have it out with school as they are not helping by the way they work lunches.

Ten I see you have put a marriage proposal in this thread is there something you need to share with us/

Going - no wonder you have a with the thought of a hunky man to joining you at the school gates to start tongues wagging :)

Off for a anyone else need one? then fetching DS 3 +4 from childminder. Catch you later

Oh Joely,

It is lovely that they can have a nice time with their Dad, but you absolutely have to pull him up on the bullshit he is spouting. He also needs to learn that the children will NOT and cannot tell lies to suit him - if he thinks that then he will be in for some surprises....

I am glad that you had chums for lunch, can you try and do something like that once a week? Or even coffee? It's good for you to have the company and certainly breaks up the monotony of the weeks, particularly while you are so low.

And rant away - that's what this is for!!!!

Have a biscuit....before I eat them all again

x-posted with you there - of course, they have ludicrously long holidays there, I remember!

And, yes, I'll have a to dunk my biscuits in!!!

Why do messages keep getting wiped off?? Arghhhhhh!!!!

I have just typed another long message which has been wiped off- i havent got time for this!!

Be back again later on. xxx

Drive's me mad when that happens! If I have a long one to do I do it in word and then cut and paste......

Hi all waving to everyone.

Littlies in bed but not sure for how long - hope we get a better night than last night - I'm exhausted an we have to be up for dentist in the morning Silly me making a 9am appointment for them in school hols!!

In the afternoon we are off to see Tangled - hope they don't object to DS4 sitting on my knee, not buying a ticket for him as he wouldn't use the seat! Seems to be OK up here though so hope that still stands else other 2 will be dissapointed if we get asked to leave :) So chips for lunch I guess!

Making a any takers yet? Anyone got any news? Is there anyone out there????

Hope this arrives an doesn't get deleted!!

Hola,

Joely rule number one in school holidays: DO NOT BOOK APPOINTMENTS IN THE MORNING. Dear oh dear!

Be interested to know how you get on at the cinema. I want to take Bella to see the Turtle thing but not sure how she'll fare. She will watch Monsters Inc and a couple of others from start to finish on the sofa, but I'm not sure whether she'll do the cinema. Pain really because I really really wanted to see Toy Story 3 as I quite enjoy the cinema!

Had a success on flight bookings today - was expecting to have to find £4-500 for our return flights when we come over next week, but got all in for £220, with seats and cases so I was most please and it means that I can now spend lots more in Waitrose and treat myself to some bits too!!!

Going to try to have an early night to night, but it's already almost 11 for me. I'm crap at this going to bed stuff!

Hello to everyone else, hope you're all ok.

Is it too late to join? Have only just joined MN, and within 2 days it has changed my perspective on my pretty sh*tty situation. Anyways, am 45 and have 2 DC - 11 and 8. Want to join in and play with you lot!!

Absolutely not. So long as you talk crap, eat chocolate, guzzle wine and coffee you're in! Come, grab a seat and rant as much as you want. I'm 40 have 4 DCs 17, 16, 14 and 2O. It's yet again past my bed time and I have been meaning to go for an hour now!!! But do stay and I shall back in the morning.

Hello all,

Working til 6.50 tonight and about 8.30 tomorrow night and I'm shattered.

Have had a quick read through but apologies if I miss anyone!

Going he's mine and you can't have him. I am hoping that he will let himself in tomorrow after work and make me a dinner to come home to! He's ex-Army so ironing is of a very high standard. He did a brilliant job of DD1's boots for Army cadets too :)

Joely your ex sounds like a prat. My girls tell me absolutely nothing about what their dad is up to, I'm not sure which is worse. I'm not actually interested, but I don't want them to feel like it's a taboo subject. Mind you, I don't want them going over there spouting about my life either!

So I can't remember what I need to update you on...did I not do Thorpe Park yet? Sorry if I'm repeating myself...we had a great day, the girls got on really well with him and they all seemed really comfortable with each other. DD2 is a fruitcake and I think she's just like his DD but 9 years older. They will all get along just fine. He came out for dinner with me and DD2 last night as well, helped her with her maths homework over dinner (KS3 maths test and I only teach Y1 so couldn't remember all of it, and she is only in Y6 so hasn't learned all of it!) then beat us both at Wii bowling when we got back home. I hadn't been sure whether she would be ok about him staying over (ten days ago she didn't know he existed and she only met him on Sunday) but I thought if I put it off I may keep putting it off. I decided to go for it and at the restaurant she asked if he was coming back with us and I said yes, and she asked what time he was leaving and I said in the morning and she said 'ok' and that was it. When we got home she disappeared upstairs and got into her pjs, so we did the same and we had a Wii pyjama party before I packed her off to bed.

He left before she woke up this morning (not to avoid her, just to get to work on time!) and she never mentioned him at all. She seems to be taking it all in her stride.

So that's all my news, I think. Time for a and my Kindle before I go to sleep.

Lilacs, glad things going so well for you you deserve it. Whats he making for dinner? If theres any spare can you share it with us? Its soooo great that your DDs are taking it all in there stride.

Boo thats brill news about your flights cost - it can be real expensive when theres a few of you to travel. We find that when we need to travel south, ticket cost looks OK but then tax is added on an it triples our cost atleast!! So not able to travel to see folks too often an certainly NOT at short notice.

Paul I just hate that when you have long message done you press the button waiting too see it appear an instead it disappears it makes my blood boil . Hope your day has been ok though an have been thinking of you.

Dumps good to have you on board, I have 5 children DS 18, DS16, DD 6, DS 4, + DS 20 months - keep forgetting to add each month on to him he has been 18 months old since all this mess blew up in January - cant believe 2.5 months gone by. When it first started/happened every minute seemed like a day! So maybe it is getting a bit easier to accept - not that its what I want for me or kids but we matter not to "my dear pratt" !!

Oh well look at the time again I must get sleeping sorted will do one day again at some point in time I guess but not tonight.

Night all

Morning all have got and the coffee pot is still hot.I think i need mine Iv of a morning be easier i think

Hi dumpsville.Jump right in with us were freindly bunch and I have at least had my rabies shot this month so your safe.

Joely Im looking forward to the holidays i shall still have to be up at silly oclock Thanks ds3.But not having to rush and get everyone out the door will be nice.

Boo thats not a bad price i was looking as friends that are taking dd to Spain said if I wanted to fly out they wouldpick me and ds3 at Airport .but the flights £500 each and thats just with hand luggage .so it was a no .
We seen the turtle thing and I did not think was that good but dd enjoyed it ,and saw toystory 3 we saw that at the kids club at £1 a ticket job on Saturday morning .Were going to see Rio at Easter got free tickets as ds3 name almost matches it the shorten form does so our local one handed free tickets

Im glad the dd are taking it well .Kids seem to handle it better than we think .Dam and making dinner hmm Does he have a brother .That i can use on a part time base as truth dont think I am ready any time soon to live with a man .Have become to independant stubborn now .

And ye sthose hours must be killer .I am so looking forward to ds3 becoming ateen and him lying in.Saying that ds2 is still morning bird but he has learnt not to make a noise and wake up mum .

Glad thorpe park was good im weighing up which we go to need to research it so theres something for ds3 .Not sure what im going to do with my lot over the easter holidays 3 weeks am just hoping its dry so can hoof them outside at least.Otherwise I shall be pulling my hair out by end of it

Morning All,

Yep, I need to be mainlining the coffee this morning too Going! Have you tried Lego Land? They are very good when it comes to wheelchairs and assistance. And you and DS will be free and you get queue barging priority stamps.

A wave to you all, I must get dressed and do stuff....back later.

Morning All. It's the new girl (ha ha ha, delusional me!!) here. Had to get up to take DS for early morning swimming training at 5 this morning, and DC both at school now. Industrial strength coffee on, to get me through the day - all the way through to Brownies this evening!

Warning ...... bit of a rant coming....... X just walked away from the family and left me to cope with all the activities that DC are involved in. I want to work because I do not want to be financially beholden to him, but how are you supposed to get a decently paid job when you spend your entire week trying to keep the DCs life as normal as possible? Rant over.

Have a good day everyone. Dumps x