Where have all the fit, interesting and available men gone (part 30)

[lilacisinlove]

Yay! I did it again!

(((((miniflame))))

hi all, Well I almost cant belive how good this weekend has been.

GW came up on sat, arrived bringing chocolates and flowers. Rather unfortunately at the same time ex came to pick up kids stuff. Bit but they shook hands and were almost chatty! Then stupid ex decided all by himself to bring the boys back from school to mine to change before heading off, so they met him too!! Not really what I had planned, so I will now have to explain to them who he is. Ex has since apologised and said kids didnt bat an eyelid. Well done ex

Went walking in the peaks, curry for dinner and then fabulous romantic evening. He left this morning, both of us really happy and smiley. We are going to arrange our next weekend for when I dont have kids next.

He txt me on his way home to say he thought this weekend was perfect. He is the first man I have dated where I just feel so comfortable and relaxed. He is fab. Am

elasta, delighted for you! Comfortable and relaxed is the order of the day for me and TLOML, so that's definitely a good sign :) . Am at your ex though!

Ex apologised. Said that he thought we would have gone out by the time he got back with the kids. We had quite a good chat when he dropped off this evening and cleared the air on a few things. In a funny sort of way I think he was pleased at last to see there was another man on the scene. I think deep down he still feels guilty at leaving us

elasta that's great news

dcs came back from 24 hr stay with exh with tales of woe. It's getting to crisis point again.

Ds2 said exh's p said she couldn't wait for them to go. Then exh didn't stay at the dcs sports practice which is prob for them the most important part of the weekend.

DS1 says that he is treated like a four year old - I really don't know what to do about it. I try to remain detached but otoh can't bear to see them so unhappy. I honestly don't think they say things to make me feel better IYKWIM. Unfortunately he seems to have met someone with an equally large stick up their backside. DS1 has to sleep on the floor when he is there too.

elasta that's really brilliant, i am so pleased for you i'm the same as lilac about your ex though.

sin (((((scl)))) how come ds1 doesn't have his own bed???

elasta - sounds lovely.

Sin - why does he have to sleep on the floor? Thats quite frankly stupid. For a while my ex husband only lived in a one bed flat. When he had DD to stay he slept on an airbed in the living room and gave her his bed.

Had a lovely weekend :) I really made the right choice on the no dating front :)
Had a couple of texts from another few men this weekend which i have just ignored. 9 days since ive spoken to mr big :)

Still talking to that one on msn. I supose i shall have to give him a name... 'boatman'
hes actually interesting and i want to meet up. But im not breaking my non dating rule.. and he understands that.

Buddist also emailed me, ive not responded yet. He is actually ordained and has a buddist name.. which i didnt know before. Does anyone know anything about buddists? I have no clue.. and no clue if i should want to date one???

oh and sponge - well done on the weight loss.
Ive started a diet yesterday... have been eatiing way too many carbs.. and proably too much cheese.. and too much chocolate ;)

he used to have the attic room but think it's now used for storage. He now sleeps on the lounge floor in a sleeping bag with built in mat thingie.

I will ask exh again. They're only there once a fortnight for one night at most. I really think his p needs to butt out - she probably feels though that she has to step in where exh is weak tbh. And of course it's her house. She also made comments to ds1 about why she thinks he gets detentions etc.

I think tbh she's overstepping the mark. Of course if I speak up I will be the bad guy again.

I really didn't anticipate things would be so difficult post divorce.

Also I would be ok with them not going anymore as I'm exhausted with trying to make it work however from a purely selfish point of view that would leave me with no free time at all. I sometimes go and stay away overnight when they're away but that would have to stop.

I could still go out but would have to pay for babysitter as I do now if it's not once a fortnight on a saturday.

Going out last Thurs was a major effort - at least I shared the babysitter costs with my friend.

i understand that completely sin - dd's dad wants me to travel in the council-paid taxi to dd's new school with her

hmm. i think it would be fair to email your ex.. so you have something in writing and just say that your DS is really unhappy about sleeping on the floor in the living room, and is there something he could come up with?
and how hes not 4.. and is just generally upset and not wanting to spend time with him and that if DS keeps getting upset you are not going to force the issue.. and so DS may or may not be coming to stay overnight.

How old is DS?? can he say anything?

hopefully a bit of honest communication....???
or is that just not going to work?

TK - everything goes in writing - so will be emailing him as when I or dcs challenge him about anything he just stonewalls.

DS1 is 14 and DS2 9

very quick check in with all you lovelies...no TM today. bumped into utterly gorgeous downstairs neighbour yesterday on way in with boys. he is delightful. nothing would clearly ever happen there, but i might think about it a bit. in a (cough) personal moment. and he's a fairly famous actor.

Scl :( re your ex/DC situation. I can't believe he hasnt even got a bed for DS1 (although is on a par with my ex, boys sleep on floor/sofa when they go there).

Am feeling rather despondent(probably hormonal), partly that this weight loss is pointless as I will still be single (albeit thinner) and also that I've had my chance, and wasted it. Can't get a date with men I probably wouldn't look twice at in RL, let alone ones I might be interested in.

Hope there is still room for me on this thread though, even if I am just a miserable dateless spinster - I promise to try and cheer up.....

Oh sponge, chin up girl, it is probably the dieting thats getting you down. whenever I diet - or stop drinking for that matter - i get the blues. Think positive. Things will get better.

Have had lovely e mail from GW, almost cant believe it and expect any moment to wake up and get dumped or such like. We wont be seeing each other for about 10 days as he is overseas on business but we have a date in the diary for when he is back.

Think he is still fab and a great shag very romantic. By the time he returns I will be consumed with lust

place marking

(just had the wife of vimes' sarge sing the wedding march at me with her colleague

oh sponge things will get better - weightloss is good - maybe it's a bit like hitting the wall in the marathon.

Ive texted and emailed ex about the weekends and how they are not working out and as it stands they won't be going to stay overnight anymore alhtough they stil want to see him.

I suggested he talk to them about it to try to reach a solution. My dm doesn't agree with that saying they need an adult to stick up for them - well isn't that what Im doing - I hate to get involved in what goes on when they are with him.

I also suggested that maybe his p could back off in parent/discplinarian mode.

Also told him I couldn't stand back and let boys become distressed/ unhappy before and after they go over there.

So it's over to him now. I don't want to completely stop their visits as they do still want to see him. Just don't want to be part of a shiny new family I think.

The irony here is that when we together he would sneer at family life and parents (even though he was one)but now he's in the thick of it.

my dm also said to me today 'if other people can find time to do the ironing why can't you?'

She has always had to criticise my domestic prowess.

exh categorically denies that his p said what she said.

I have asked ds2 several times - surely he wouldn't invent it? Esp when he knew that exh was also present at the time.

Hello

Please can I join this thread? I have lurked for a while after discovering it. I am not a parent, but I am looking for the men

Totally lost. Sorry.

Flame, are you OK?

Yeah, I'm just reading and not taking in.

Smurf is still being confusing.