Where have all the fit, interesting and available men gone (part 29)

[lilacisinlove]

Too good an opportunity to miss!

tookool, some of my friends have started posting the story on their FB...am tempted to comment and say ' i know where that story started!'

advice re TB...well i am the worst person to give advice given my own failures (what was it ex once said of me, oh yes that I'm 'incapable of making other people happy' ) but I suppose just be honest with yourself. you don't owe him anything - and if you don't actually fancy him much in the flesh then just make your excuses at the end of the date. i suppose also be prepared it might be the other way around. and of course it is quite possible you might both feel the same and want to rip each others clothes off :) where are you meeting?

i prefer evening dates, but thats mainly because i find the dark more forgiving of my ageing face rather than harsh daylight

no actual date for date with cowboy yet, will have to be next weekend as I cant do anything during the week! The one I like has also now suggested taking me for a drink after work (he lives nr to where i work) so thats sort of another one, hopefully :) need to think of a name for him.

oh, and there might be another. Below my usual minimum height requirement though but seems nice, and quite bright. which is good.

nice evening with PM - a little hungover this morning. I was absolutely right - the trip is off for financial reasons , but we're going to take the week off of work and pretend to be on holiday, so lots of day trips around London, pretending to be german and general silliness. If my DS's aren't going camping with granny granpa that week, because of weather, then they're all staying at mine and i'm staying at PMs. I do love him, the silly sod. There was a moment last night, he's done something particularly brilliant and i had to leave the room, or i would have kissed him.

sponge, busy busy! :)

Eve,hope all well..:) x

Lou, kiss boaky dog-kiss for dora. hope she's settling down.

tk - haha at ashley cole pics. we've all been there (!)

series of flirty texts from my 26 year old tattoo man. I am coming around to the idea of a shag, just for research, so I'm better informed of how to actually do it in relation to TM/PM. I have forgotten how to have sex. I'm pretty sure i vaguely remember what goes where, but by christ, I am a boiling cauldron of lust atm.

Tookool, shame DD won't see her dad for ages and shame about the impact on your social life too.

Sponge, lots of potential there, hope at least one of them turns into something worthwhile.

I'm not taking any credit for the fox story - the pest control officer from Southwark Council had been on his tail for over a week by the time I went up there and a whole load of builders knew about him too.

TLOML's ex saw sense and we are spending the day with his DD after all. We've just been for a swim in the hotel pool and I'm waiting for them to emerge from the changing rooms. She is gorgeous, just like her dad (but more feminine, obviously).

And snape - lol at boiling cauldron!!

Snape is your friend gay? Don't take that the wrong way but I'm wondering why he chooses to spend so much time with you when you say he doesn't fancy you.

I'm seriously hungover today and feel like going back to bed for an hour. In fact think I will.

Oh good lilac, have a great day.

have a great day lilac :)

snape - haha. are you too sending pics ashley cole style? ( you are arent you.... lo) Go for it. Its just sex. Obviously its best to have sex in a meaningful relationship., but sex is brilliant. and fun, and just all round fantasticness. If it can be with someone you are a 'boiling cauldron' of lust for.. then go for it.
Seriously. go for it.

Ive seen what TB looks like. Ive heard his voice. as long as he doesnt smell. or is really odd ( quite unlikely) then i hope to spend most of next sunday with my legs by my ears!!! lol
Clearly very grown up and sensible behaviour. But i have NEEDS. and ive not had a shag for about 7 months.

anyway - just spokd to exhusband who said while he is away his mum would be more than willing to have dd overnight ( she has done a few times before)
or his girlfriend ( who i have met... but who is only 22) would also be happy to have DD.
Now, that would be good as 6 weeks with no break is a long long time.
But - how would you feel entrusting your DD in the girlfreinds care. DD does love her. But im not sure.

My dog is worse again :-(

What is the deal with POF profiles and dating?

Seeing Smurf tonight. 4th meeting/3rd day iyswim. Talk online most of the day and evening. When is it reasonable to assume we are dating and therefore should be off POF? With Carrot we both took ourselves off instantly but he is a totally different person. This time round, I don't know what I would have done as I only took myself off due to Brackets rather than for Smurf iyswim, but NOW I would probably have done so.

I don't know how these things work!!!

Flame, I would give it a bit more time tbh. Then ask him if he is still dating on POF, if he says no then assume you are exclusive and ask him to take it down.

Thanks. I was thinking more time, but was then concerned that I was being too relaxed with it iyswim.

I wish he wasn't so bloody hard to read/me so paranoid/a mix of the two. Online he deflects everything with a one liner so I can never tell if he likes me or not. In person it is a lot easier and more relaxed. The wall comes down a bit.

Obv if I had done things as I meant to, things would be easier too

Lou -

no, not gay, just infuriating! if he was gay, that would be fine and clearly make things a lot easier. He's going through an asexual phase i think - he hasn't always been asexual, so i presume he won't always be asexual. a lot of it is to do with medication and various other problems. very difficult. :(

yeah, i may have to shag tattooman. it's finding the time to do it. however, if i'm saying things like that, I'm not all that enamoured of the idea, am i? If it were PM or TM, I'd find a way.

flame, i think it's OK to still have his/your profile up on POF justnow - it's stillkinda early days, evenif it is all lovely! :)

Hi All, I dont know how it works either and am interested in your perspectives on this. At what point is it OK to ask yor date if they are also dating other people. Am seeing MrGW on monday - 4th date, dinner near mine - really like him, but not really up for it if he is also dating other women at the same time. As I am down his way next week for work I could book myself into a hotel so we can share a bottle of wine and see how it goes but really feel I need to know where he is coming from

i have no idea about dating and profiles. i presume at some point you need to talk about it. lord knows when though?

snag - shag the tattooman. Make a date for next weekend to go get steaming drunk and do the deed. Then stick with it. :)

With PM, if its just a phase, is it worth just waiting it out, ( still trying to date other people if someone good comes along) but hoping the phase will pass?

Mind you, my waiting it out plan didnt work with mr big. I decided a long long time ago that 'it' had a life of its own and i was just going to wait it out and go with the flow, because really i couldnt see how i could do anything else.
Had a very very long conversation with him yesterday :( and actually a bt of a go at him. Despite the fox thing i was/am fucked off he just disappeared and didnt tell me, or reply to my text. Then he got all defensive because he thought i was nagging. Serious the fucker makes me more angry than anything. How can someone so smart be so fucking dim. On what planet is somone asking if you are ok, nagging. He just says he is naturally defensive and wary, which i know he is. For all his bleeding arrogance and super confident persona, inside it is very very different. PLus he said he was feeling really sad and upset because ive not spoken to him for ages. not properly and he missed me and didnt understand what he had done to make me go away.
So he was angry at me. And i was angry at him. We decided it was because we love each other. And then i feel asleep.

and, elastamum. 4th DATE!!!!!! wow.:) maybe see how the 4th date goes, see is he says anything.. and then go from there?

actually i also feel mean. because mr big is right. i had been ignoring him and i know how i feel if he does that to me. So he must have been feeling awful.
I spoke to him friday early afternoon for about an hour, but had to go so told him i would call him later on. He asked when. and i said about 8.
8pm came and past and i didnt call him.
I wanted to. But didnt. Because i know it just remindes me i love him.
He said he had been waiting for me to call and was hurt that i didnt. and that i should have text or something.
so basically we are just this big ball of hurting each other because we are both so defensive and trying to pretend it doesnt matter.

i give up. i have no idea what to do about this ever.
cant ever see how it will be any different.

TK that must be so frustrating, to have someone there that you feel for but seem to be getting nowhere with. I feel for you

Am trying not to get my hopes up re 4th or any other date. Have had a number of dates over the past yr or so where we have been out 4,5,6 times then it has all gone to nothing and they have just drifted off. One even took me out to dinner to tell me how he had just met someone else, not at all good for my ego. Even Radioman decided that 'he wasnt ready for a serious relationship, but could we still go out as friends'

I am reasonably attractive and good conversation, so a lot of men are happy to date me. I just dont seem to meet anyone who will stick around for the long term.

Have come to the conclusion that i am just not doing it right.

its not you. It must be them. There is nothing to do right... i think if its the right person then it just all falls into place.
i cannot believe the gall of someone taking you to dinner to tell you that. Quite unbelieveable.

And yes. its stupidly frustrating. I love him warts and all. I just dont believe him when he says the same. seems too impossible to be true.Plus i know long term it wouldnt be right. Though saying that we seem to have fallen in love with each other despite not being in a physical relationship.. for almost 20 months now. meh.
i dont know.

TK - there are PM parallels here. i know exactly what you're on about. yeah, I'm waiting it out. dating other people has to be done i guess, but doesn't feel right compared to being with PM. if tattoo man get's it, it will be angry-sex. then i'll refuse to return his calls. as for mr B - i don't know either. :) something will have to give at some point I guess. Is Mr B seeing other women?

Flame ! I've had one of those, dinner to tell me he's getting back together with his gf. gosh! thanks for letting me know!

Snape, I fancied the pants off him but I think he thought I was his mate!! He even offered to take me and the kids out afterwards. Havent seen him since (my choice), although am very likely to bump into him this week when I am climbing with my son, as we will be practising for a competition where he hangs out. That will be interesting

Ohh, just had lovely funny message from GW confirming monday

yay!! :) cant wait to hear all about it.

Snape, yeah, i can see the PM parrallels. :( Ive always just assumed something will give at somepoint,but then i also assumed that a year ago... so?? who knows. I do know i love him a whole lot more than i did last year.
I have no idea if he is seeing anyone. He says he doesnt have a girlfriend. but that doesnt mean he isnt seeing anyone. I dont have a boyfriend either do i.. but im out dating people. I really understand what you say when you say but they arent him. I can quite happily date, it is no way effects how i feel towards Mr big. So i expect he is the same. I did tell him i was sort of seeing somone last year and he went a bit mental at me and then retallianted by telling me he was seeing someone a few weeks later and i got very very angry and jealous even though i was shagging someone else and we didnt talk for like 2 months or something. Anyway. it was all very childish.
So it just goes unmentioned now. If he asks i deny. and if i ask he denys. Because i think of him as being mine.
It sort of goes in circles. WE have been a bit out of touch since jan. The damn fox thing has brought us back together and we will be declaring undying love next. and then resolve to actually go for it, ill decide it is actually a good idea, before one of us gets cold feet and backs out, instead prefering the safe waters of the known ( and thus staying suposbly unhurt. pah!)
and repeat.
and repeat.
and repeat

much like you and PM. except PM doesnt seem such an arrogant cock as mr big. and i mean that affectionally.
:)

anyway.
Just wondering about TB next week.
He lives 20 mins away. Would it be better for me to go to his town.. and then to his flat ( which i have seen pictures of and its surprisingly clean and hygenic and nice)
thus avoiding me having to go round like a mad woman tidying up in a race.
also avoiding the quite likely large dog staring at him when we are having sex.
im used to it., but sure most people are a bit freaked out.
and then i will be able to leave when i want. without having the awkward ' you need to leave now' thing.

or - would it be better to meet him in my town, and then come back here?

obviously.. i dont know if im going to shag him, its just on the cards... meeting for coffee first. public place etc.. if he seems weird. i wont go.
also thought maybe if i did decide his i could get him to give me his address the day before or something???
i can then give it to my sister or something.

I now have 3 potential dates....bloody hell! men are clearly like buses, none for a year then they all turn up at once :)

still not sure when date is with cowboy, will see when/if he comes back to me
in the meantime, have 2 other definite dates

am going for a drink next Sat with the not so tall one (was going to suggest some height related name, but thought that might be mean, so will call him Target instead) and the nice one - lets call him Mitch - a week on Friday as he can only do every other weekend as has his DC then....

so now I have to flap and panic about what to wear! eeek :)

and I need to dye my grey roots.

Smurf followed Bros before Hos. I feel like an appalling friend AND got no soddin sex.

(will catch up later. hormonal, stroppy, tired and broke phone)