Where have all the fit, interesting and available men gone (part 28)

[ninah]

lilac where are you????!

hello all...what is it with men? Had a wink from a mature (mid40's) man - looked like a nice sensible manly type I thought...then read profile which abridged is as follows:

' I am.....confident, outgoing, fun loving, charismatic...wicked sense of humour...masculine, virile, sexy, warm, generous, caring, kind & tactile'

(far, far too many adjectives for me; it gets worse tho)

'Looking for a glamorous attractive, sexy lady, with a busty hourglass figure and shapely legs. She'll be feminine, intelligent, warm, caring, loving, tactile, emotionally secure, loves to laugh and has a good sense of humour....the type of lady who loves to put on her high heels & stockings..... for a night out or in!'

I mean, really?
Ick.

Or am I just being too fussy?

hello everyone just want an opinion on this.

met a guy on match, chatted a bit and then just lost interest, but we had added each other on FB. so that was august. then a few days ago he contacted me on Fb just saying hello and asking about xmas. we started chatting again, seem to be getting on so he asked if i would like to meet him. i agreed based on me being able to get a babysitter, so not definitely confirmed. then chatting tonight, he said, when talking about something else that he found me attractive. because of teh other subject he was talking about, i didn't get a chance to repsond to that. not sure what i would have said anyway but a while later he asked me what i thought when he had said it. i told him i hadn't really thought anything as we were talking about something else, it didn't really register. i asked him why he wanted to know. he replied that he was wondering if it was mutual and admitted that that sounded needy.

we carried on chatting but since he said that it has sort of put me off. am i mad? why ahs this put me off?

Hmmm it does sound a bit weird tbh. I am not really one to ask though!!! I am currently half chatting up the v young body builder from months ago on fb.

And no, you are NOT being picky sponge!

Good morning all

@ sponge - double ick with sprinkles on - delete and block and no, not picky at all - just rightly choosy about who you wish to talk to.

@ ilwycmb - don't really see it as a problem unless you really don't find him attractive in which case don't go on date - or if not sure/can't tell from profile/chats, tell him you'd prefer to meet first before making judgement.

I meanwhile have gone from slump to ridiculous - though none with Mrbetterbeworthit (and is ...) - but have been in contact with him so not quite a write-off yet. Sadly he's no work trips to London for a while but we are trying to think of something else that might work to our mutual satisfaction!

Theatreman has offered to come round on Saturday evening and keep me company as my mum aka the babysitter is out .... and is bringing takeaway!

Have date with, let's call him Zorba on Friday - though am absolutely uninterested so will be a quickie I feel.

And for those who've been on here a while, I have a lunchdate with Bluebeard on Tuesday - long story but we've been chatting and I told him he had pissed me off and he wants to make it up and stay friends - bit but he makes me laugh and it's a free lunch!

And someone I've been in sporadic contact with has messaged me again - again he's not a Londoner which makes it all a bit complicated but might try and meet up at some point ...

hatesponge - not fussy at all. Slimy and discusting. YUK.

elastamum - 5th date ;) id ask him, why not?

Dogman and i had a bit of text tennis last night, and he keeps checking my profile out ( so handy that you can see whos viewed you)
I think the email being boring was that one email a day is a bit rubbish and you cant get any kind of feel of the person, texting is much better. Im looking forward to sunday now. BUT - its a damn dog walk. I asked about wellies, and he said it would be best to wear them. They are orange with butterflies on them ( and are childrens ones) Not quite the classy and sexy look i normally try and pull off.
Plus i dont know what coat to wear - proper dog walking coat ( again, not all that flattering) but warm, and practical and pockets for phone, lip gloss, money, poo bags.
or nicer coat, with no pockets, meaning i have to trail a handbag around ( which is not all that good on a dog walk)
oh, and ive lost my gloves.

Sponge, ick with clogs on!

MZ, get you, lol at lunchdate with Bluebeard - check out FB FIA night album for pics of you on the phone to him that night

Elasta, yay for re-emergence of Radioman but this member of the jury thinks University man a better bet for the work do if anyone - Radioman should have stayed better in touch before Xmas imho........

morning everyone

place marking again....

Thanks MILY, you echo my gut feel on this one. Radioman is very busy - I know what he is up to with work - BUT he really doesnt make much effort. Interestngly, he told me his last GF dumped him for not keeping in touch enough

University man is unfortunatley a long, long way away, but if he is free I'm sure he will appear suited and booted. He used to take me to balls when we we both students, so I could return the invite 20 years later!

Elasta, I would go to works do on my own. Partners to me means long term and the two (work and partners) rarely mix well let alone someone you don't too well. Think you will enjoy it better on your own.

Iloveit, sounds like this guy is not wanting to waste his time on someone who doesn't fancy him, probably from prior experience . It would put me off tbh and I would have told him it's hard to tell as we haven't met!

Sponge, hate all that sort of talk, tactile means, will be feeling you up in the first hour, yuck, you are not being too fussy.

eve you're so right that was exactly what I thought when I heard the word tactile....am glad you all thought the same as me re what he said, I was a bit taken aback in view of his age, was expecting men to be less obviously pervy as they got older!

kind of just reinforces my view that if I am ever going to meet someone, the chances of it being online are millions to one.

ilwycmb - it might put me off a little, but I agree with the others Id say that you needed to meet first then decide. I can only really tell if i find someone attractive from seeing them face to face, cant judge from photos.

mzd - get you, with all your dates lined up! that will keep you busy til Mrbetterbeworthit is down next...and good to hear you're still in contact with him too :)

elasta - re work do, it would depend for me if its the sort of thing where everyone attends in couples or whether its more of a bring your longterm partner thing, iyswim. if the former, id go with Mily and say take university man...if the latter then im with eve and would say go on your own. thankfully all our work dos are strictly partners not invited so this is not a problem i have.......

I still feel i'm in a bit of a slump, woke up this morning and had what i think was a panic attack about the fact I'm 39 this year, and my life is half over, and I haven't done enough with it :( have been thinking about past relationships and that none of the men I have ever been out with, including theonewhobrokemyheart, would have got my dad's seal of approval - although i do think he would have liked WM, which is just typical. has made me wonder why i've been out with so many men who are not worthy of me....plus am not looking forward to party tomorrow as have come out in spots and none of my party dresses fit me due to xmas overindulgence (well actually due to the last few months overindulgence but anyway...) so all in all am rather :( at present. apologies for bringing such a note of doom and gloom to the thread, today is definitely a half empty glass day

hopefully someone will be along to say something witty and entertaining soon to make up for me being so miserable!

you're on match aren't you sponge - check out this lovely specimen madmaxa764. He emailed me the following :- "i'm xx from london,putney,i'm,42,single,never married,but i do have a fantastic career.i happening to be a semi-pro snooker player.i use to be a semi-pro tennis player on the champions tour.i am kind,loyal,honest,careing,loveing,i'm 5'10 inches tall,plases take time for you to read my profile,and if you like what you see drop me a line .ok"

TBH, words fail me ... as you can imagine I am sitting on my hands to stop myself grabbing him through the screen ...

As for mrbetterbeworthit - it was I who texted him ... although to his credit he replied in minutes. He is still the one occupying my mind far more than is good for me but am hoping theatreman or bluebeard will at least provide some distraction!

right I will try to uplift you both - went to theatre yesterday afternoon which was uplifting and nice start to NY of work (taking afternoon off on day 1 of return lol)

Had to go to physio today because of pain/lump in right shoulder and pins needles (it subsided over Xmas so must be use of computer/tension at work. Seems Im still quite flexible for an old girl and need to do stretching and twisting exercises. They may be able to offer a couple of sessions of acupuncture.

Just had a heated convo with exh - happened to mention to him that there might be the chance of a rented two bed HA flat which Im going to see on Sat. He is due to have them in the afternoon and thought it was very bad idea to take dcs along. As they could possibly be living there thought it was the sensible thing to do.

It may not be suitable at all but it would represent security for them and me.

He tried to imply I was destabilising them when all I have done is try to keep them stable. Thinks ds1 is all oever the place becuase of our split. I actually think he is fairly normal teenager.

I reminded exh that we couldn't have possibly stayed together with the way things were and that would hve been far more damaging.

I really really resent this type of thing from him. Its actually mentioned in the Lundy Bancroft book I believe where they do litle parenting and then step in to criticise.

WWYD - would you take your older dcs to see it. The HA also gave the impression you would need to decide there and then so it would prob be best.

SCL, On the one hand you could go on your own and think about it with a level head, then take them to see it. If they hate it because they have to share then it will put you off straight away but you are the adult so should make the decisions but they are going to live there too. Difficult one.

My date tonight was changed and I met him for coffee this lunch time. He was nice enough but no connection or spark! Wouldn't rule out a second date over dinner if he asks but not going to break my heart if he doesn't .

Thanks Eve

if the lounge were big enough then I might use it as bedroom and let them have a bedrooms each. If it's poky that won't work.

Another prob is there's no allocated parking and no chance of residents parking permit being issued.

Anyway just resent exh's take on my not providing them with stability - I would never dream of saying to him the fact he was luckyu enough to meet a rich woman (therefore rendering him stable) and fact you've had two more dcs at your age has affected the dcs. Which I am sure it has.

Also he was the one who defaulted on the mortgage on our mh. I paid for childcare. I paid it for the last six months and then had to sell before it was repossessed.

I mean I paid mortgage and childcare for the last six months.

Eve re your date - it would be nice if you could meet someone who really sets you alight. Here's hoping xx

oh and my mums take on ex SIls comments on faebook

'well perhaps she wants you to be really happy dear'

so I say by that you and she means that I will be happier if I could find a man eh?

God this attitude really f**s me off that I would instantly be happier if I had a man.

SCL I know exactly what you mean, really irritating that people think you can only be happy if you meet someone. Maybe there is something in it but it's like me saying to childless friends, oh your only living half a life, you just wouldn't say it would you.

yes it would just really pee me off if people like my exSIL and dm were pitying me.

Its really very patronising tbh. Ditto exh who would paint me as such to make his own self look better. When it was his car crash mentality which led partially to our demise. He did once say that when he met me he was on self destruct mode. Its his pattern - he finds someone to leech from until he has bled them dry.

Pah!!!

Has anyone heard what's happening with Beaut?

Coffee guy (we'll call him pixel) said he had an auction tomorrow, and he was meant to be texting me today to let me know what time it was and when he could meet... not holding my breath though.

whats this lundy book? sounds like he wrote it about my exh

Lou its called Why Does He Do That by Lundy Bancroft.

Things got worse when I got back from work where exh was looking after dcs for a couple of hours.

Hes been giving me a bit extra each month for imho times when he goes away and/or doesn't see them for full weekend/me running mums taxi all around south london (when he should be)

He said he could no longer give me this.

Then he beaked at a letter on my sideboard from dietician for ds2 - I said he isn't going - ex looked like thunder and asked for the letter. I refused. Ds2's ears also pricked up.

Then he tells me he has yet another overseas trip end Jan when just last week we agreed our weekends up till half term. I'd arranged to go somewhere overnight on that weekend which I will now have to cx.

So nothing's changed andhe gets to do more or less as he likes whilst I facilitate his lifestyle.

Tosser Sin :(

I seem to be having more success with the very young body builder than anyone on OKC or POF . I don't remember sending him a friend request, but I clearly did and he accepted. He is now chatting on statuses a lot :) Ok, so that may be because he was offering to "fix my problem" in my sex drought :o

Lol. Matt. been on his and mine.

i worked him out immediately lol