Where have all the fit, interesting and available men gone (part 26)

[BlackFLAMECandle]

Oooh brand new thread!

Lol Lou :o

Oh, no wonder you are so relieved then MaMoTTaT! I've been through court with my XP and that was hideously stressful.

Kudos to you for dealing with it so well :)

No since August. only fixed my sex life a few weeks ago though

what a tosser eve!!!

So much for stewing.... he's just text to tell me to let him know when i am home safe.

Eve - he's not a gardener/horticulture type is he? Sounds remarkably like a bloke I came across on GSM. Sent me a message which I accessed via my crackberry - as I hate using the keyboard on that, I decided to wait till I got home to reply but by the time I'd got home, he'd sent me a pathetic message along the lines of 'all you women are the same, pretending to be interested etc' and blocked me ...

:)WW - that's always a good feeling!

I'm no relationship expert by any means but the situ with carrot sounds horrifically complex and angst ridden.

Aren't the start of relationships meant to be fun?

yy kdk -passive aggressive, whiny and entitled, what an unattractive combo!

I had one of those, mr 'how dare you not respond to my email!' from okc.

When we are together it is fun :). Wish we were young enough to enjoy it without having to have a life plan.

Mamo, that sounds really stressful for you, glad it went your way.

Lou very pleased for DD, I know how we, as mums hope that our girls have some nice attention, wish mine was gunning for me as much as I do for her.

Wing, have to agree with KDK on this one. I hope you can handle the situation. I know he says what he wants but it he might be making excuses, IME (very limited) if you meet someone you genuinely want, it won't matter what their circs are.

Janos, I was really shocked, not sure I should report it, would feel it an overreaction. Guess I'm lucky not to have had crap from the site before. We all have people who disappear but I would never insult them over it, guess he just wanted to make me feel bad for hesitating.

KDK, no a different one. Think we exchanged about 4 messages in all but he didn't give out any enthusiasm. Oh well will put it down to experience.

abouteve - he sounds like a utter tosser.

Wing - agre with KDK and abouteve - if he really wanted you then he'd want you warts and all (I hasten to add that I'm not calling your children warts ) and not be making excuses that "well I didn't want someone with kids but I've fallen for you and becaues of the kids yadadadada"

How can he have fallen for you if you have something he doesn't want???

and actually - I don't understand men (or women) who contact people on dating websites who have something (such as a child already there) that they don't want.

I have no issue with a man that would rather have a relationship with a women with no children - it's their choice - but don't go contacting ones that have children and then making excuses later - you already knew you didn't want children already on the scene.

My mum met a guy when my parents split. They were desperately in love, he was fine with us, but she never wanted more children. He said he would be ok with that. They had a good few happy years but then it became the stumbling block. How besotted he was couldn't change it even though they thought it could. Similar situation here. I have no idea if I could take on another man's children full time. Even if it was Carrot.

Which sounds terrible as a single mum.

It wasn't meant long term. It actually says in my profile that I want someone for ME not the kids. He has only seen them about three times in total. It was never meant to get this far.

eve - I reported mine after much thought. Much like you I thought, shall I chalk it up to experience..was it that bad? What swung it was FLF saying he had done the same sort of thing to her, another friend suggested I report it as well.

There's something just not 'right' with that kind of behaviour IMO. I may well be a bit sensitive on the old red flag front but I think it can signify someone who has anger/control issues - being so rude to someone you barely know.

Wing - that doesn't sound terrible at all.

It's a huge undertaking to have someone else's children in your life full time. Lots of valid, personal reasons why someone (that is already a parent or still childless) would't want that.

Too tired to concentrate anymore and still got to prepare packed lunch for dt's school trip tomorrow. Don't know how anyone manages to do packed lunches every day - mine would be eating cold spuds and cheesestrings every day! And have just realised I have no little cartons of juice or water for them to take - am a very bad mother!

Agree MaMMoTTaT - you can't magic away someone's kids. And what sort of freak would want to anyway?

It's not that hard to avoid dating women with kids if you don't want to!

Seriously. When all this started I was convinced I would love XH til i died and I just wanted some dates and a laugh. He had been pissed about with a girl. We sent messages (with me emphasising my lack of wanting serious) and decided to meet. Have stopped several times along the way but are both crap at following through.

I would rather him honest than pretend and then it all come out down the line.

Janos, his actual profile read a bit strangely too, he said he had deleted his profile and reactivated it and can see some familiar faces so ask yourselves why!

I should have seen a red flag there. It's ok to deleted and reactivate or to stay on POF for ever but to have a go at long term failures users is a bit worrying, plus the fact that he contacted me after so long.

Wing, don't know what to say really, you have the DC's so if he really doesn't want to get involved then he should back off, he might spoil it for you now, meeting someone else. Hope not.

He messaged me tonight- Mr 'how dare you not respond to my email'- asking me to meet him on Sunday night! (it's about a year since I've seen him) Have told him that there is no chance that I will be seeing him again. Twat.

sorry to post and run, but I have to go to bed, I have to face ex MIL tomorrow Just thought it strange that Janos mentioned him today of all days.
Will catch up soon

it'll fizzle out eventually. yes there will be tears and heartbreak on both sides when it does but i will get over it. I haven't been single officially six months yet... i have plenty of time to meet the right guy. I will see man A again. All i know is that, for now, Carrot makes me smile and feel loved when i am with him, and all the future pain in the world can't convince me to give him up.

YY eve.

It's not a good sign is it, Sunday bloke not replying to my text (nothing BB'ish, just how are you, look foward to catching up).

Perhaps he has decided it's too much hassle? Feel a wee bit sad cos I got the impression he really liked me, and I liked him.